My mother passed in 12/09. It was a dreadful, dreadful talk. My brother was the PO/COBE in her hall which made for a bit of a tricky time. My sister and I are exJW's, as well as a few nieces who all went to the infomercial...err I mean memorial service. We all loved this woman inspite of the hideous ceremony. My brother learned a few lessons through the ordeal and is a better person because of it.
I think everyone has to sort out what would be right for them.