I did recently come out to a couple of elders about ALL of my doubts. They were nothing but kind. And one of them I use to always feel had it out for me. They even recommended to me that I continue to serve as an elder.
Let me rephrase what could have gone down.
QMF: "Brothers, I have doubts about [the existence of God/doctrinal matters]."
Elders: "Well, we hope we can help you work through it. Meanwhile, you should probably keep delivering speeches from the platform telling people to have no doubts. (In other words, fake it until you come around.)"
Do you see the problem there? The answer would be to stay an elder and work through this. That sounds like the training of a group that is programmed to make sure they don't lose you for your usefulness to them.
From page one:
Do you really think I haven't read the anti-witness info? I just don't care. Every large organization has their own issues.
Even after I figured out that it was a dangerous mind-control cult that wanted the heaviest influence over how members think, I was pretty sure that the pedophile issue was just part of "every large organization." I figured that disgruntled former JW's were just focusing on a few bad apples because I had never been burned personally. But when I looked into the matter, it was the cover-up that got to me and I saw that it was way worse (by percentage) than the Catholic Church. Watchtower procedures of running everything by Headquarters and them asking "Legal" how to try to make these things go away was causing victims to be the least of their concerns and corporation image to be their highest priority. Now money is their highest priority as these lawsuits pour in. And they have members fully convinced, "WTS is doing the right thing and it's just a few greedy apostates whose uncles molested them that are the problem."
Man, as long as they can keep convincing you that it's the few bad apples among the many good ones and not the bad barrel that is the problem, they win.
From page three:
I truly don't care about the anti-wt stuff. I just don't. There isn't a single thing that could convince me that GB is personally responsible for any single death. If someone told me that if I don't give them all of my money that they'll kill themselves and I refused, I wouldn't be guilty of murder. People are responsible for their personal decisions.
That's really not the issue, your "Give me all your money or..." scenario. Can't you see how members of Jonestown were made to think differently than people outside of that group? Can't you see how followers of Charles Manson were made to think differently than everyone else? Can't you see how Mormons are made to think "Only we have the truth so if we are told to wear special underwear, it's normal." ? Jehovah's Witnesses are made to think they should never question whatever the Governing Body says. Even you, free to doubt it, say that it doesn't matter, they are trying to do the right things. If God doesn't exist and the doctrine is all wrong, even you don't see how the members are having difficulty seeing how the organization is damaging their minds.
If someone has full faith in god and they make the decision to turn down a blood transfusion for their god I just don't see the crime there.
No members are deciding on their own to turn down blood. No member is coming up with the idea on their own that they should encourage their 8-year old son or daughter to die without a blood transfusion for their god. But you cannot see how that smacks of Jonestown citizens being told to drink the kool-aid?
Good luck to you.
