Posts by OnTheWayOut

My fade was completely different in that I kind of scared them with my discussions of doubts. But I don't recommend it. Go by the general rules The Searcher laid out here.

If you are pestered by elders, miss many meetings and say that you need money, need a ride, need groceries, need someone to cook for you when you are depressed or in the pains of arthritis. They hate actually helping people in need of any kind of monetary or physical assistance.

41

They Don't Have A Secret Elder's Book

by pale.emperor in

"they don't have a secret elder's book" so said my mother.

"all of our publications are open to everyone.

we all have the same information and nothing is hidden in this religion.".

OnTheWayOut

millie210
I think it may have to do with the Elders School they attend where they are given information to write in the margins of their book, some of which gets rather detailed and somewhat strange.
It is a brilliant move though, that way if an elder acts on it, and a law suit or some type of complaint resulted, well...
its in the elders handwriting NOT the Societys!

That's the main thing. They all have virtually the same thing in the margins, but it's all hush-hush super secret, so secret that it couldn't be printed, but must be added on the fly in your handwriting. And you are supposed to fall on your sword if ever asked, saying the margin notes are your own understanding of what has been taught.

14

Don't know if I'm hearing things.

by Bigdummy in

i went to the hall with my wife on sunday.

i try to be there for my wife at some meetings.

because she is still neck deep in the beliefs and she understands my fading and doesn't.

OnTheWayOut

The request to those listening to "research the Jehovah's Witnesses for yourself" is just a mantra called out for the benefit of those already indoctrinated. It will cause them to believe that any such research would only lead back to belief in the doctrines. If anyone starts serious research, they will be told that outside sources are lies and Satanic manipulations and to only trust the internal writings of Watchtower.

Jehovah's Witnesses do not have doctrines, we have the truth.

Just another mantra- really just psycho-babble. This one is designed to make one think that "churches" have beliefs based on what men have said and Jehovah's Witnesses have teachings based on truth. As long as you hear "the truth" in the statement, it has some effect.

7

A Kingdom Hall Visit OR an Evening at Bill Cosby's Home

by OnTheWayOut in

remember that this is humor.

rape is wrong.so really, i would rather go to bill cosby's home for an evening (and to be fair, even a gay version of bill cosby) than go to the kingdom hall.. at both, you would know that your hosts would keep the conversation clean.

bill stays on the high road (while speaking).

OnTheWayOut

Londo111, yes. So nothing compared to a Quaalude, a pudding pop, and a ride home after a nap.

JRK, good point. You are raped at both. One does their best to make it enjoyable or at least tolerable.

7

A Kingdom Hall Visit OR an Evening at Bill Cosby's Home

by OnTheWayOut in

remember that this is humor.

rape is wrong.so really, i would rather go to bill cosby's home for an evening (and to be fair, even a gay version of bill cosby) than go to the kingdom hall.. at both, you would know that your hosts would keep the conversation clean.

bill stays on the high road (while speaking).

OnTheWayOut

Remember that this is humor. Rape is wrong.

So really, I would rather go to Bill Cosby's home for an evening (and to be fair, even a gay version of Bill Cosby) than go to the Kingdom Hall.

At both, you would know that your hosts would keep the conversation clean. Bill stays on the high road (while speaking). Certainly at the Kingdom Hall, there would be no cursing. So you are likely to get a lecture on refraining from talking dirty at either place. At either place, you will be in the presence of someone who thinks they are experts on parenting and morals. At one place, you would be expected to dress nicely. At the other, you can be casual. Your host is even known for wearing loud sweaters.

Bill would give you a nice relaxing drink. At the Kingdom Hall, there's only a water fountain and people would whisper about you if you went to it more than once. At the Kingdom Hall, there would be pressure to visit again. Bill would understand if you never come back. And if you did come back, maybe Bill would help your career. Coming back to the Kingdom Hall again would only help them, not you. At the Kingdom Hall, even holding hands is discouraged. No such problem at Bill Cosby's home. He will freely offer his hands to you.

You can sleep through the whole thing at Bill's home without anyone nudging you or constantly saying "Stay awake." The "conversation" at the Kingdom Hall would probably be about depressing things such as the end of the world and how Satan controls everything. Bill is liable to entertain you with the simple saying- "Netflix and chill."

When the evening winds down at the Kingdom Hall, that's it. You can either clean the bathroom or just leave. At Bill's, you will probably get a pudding pop and he will certainly arrange for a ride home if you are groggy.

At one place, they attempt to steal your whole life away from you and damage you deeply. At the other, you might get damaged deeply if you can remember anything, but your host will only steal a few hours, maybe try it again on another night, then get bored with you and let you go. What happened at the one place- it may take decades but people will eventually believe that you were violated. At the other, people will defend the host to the death and outsiders still don't understand much at all about how anything wrong is happening.

I know that people shouldn't trick other people into doing things they wouldn't do. Whether you are physically assaulted or mentally assaulted, you will learn that you went into a male-oriented culture that just doesn't give a damn about you.

29

The Elders want to meet with me and the hubby... Lol lol lol

by Sevan in

jw
friends

so the elders called wanting to meet with me and my husband.

most likely because i told a concerned jw friend of mine that i really care about that i wasn't coming back and a couple of the issues i had.

i didn't bring up any so-called "apostate" information, just told her about the australian royal commission and that there are a lot of unscriptural teachings and that the gb apply scriptures that are about jehovah and jesus to themselves, which is idolatry.

OnTheWayOut

I think you have an answer for them:

[YOU] have never helped me when I have been in need. Never visited me when in the hospital, never helped me move, never helped me with family issues, never visited me or even called me when I missed meetings for several months one year, never helped me when I was out of work and had no money (~~my "worldly" family did thank you very much~~), etc, etc. And in the last 20 years, [YOU] have never called on me for a shepherding visit that I did not specifically ask for. I think I have had a total of 4 shepherding visits in the last two decades, all at my request.
I am fine, thanks but no thanks.

...or shorten that to almost nothing and enjoy the day, forget about them.

127

Racial Insensitivity

by Coded Logic in

"blue" lives matter!

- sheriff david clarke at the rnc.

this bs really makes my blood boil.

OnTheWayOut

I agree with the basic tenants of "Black Lives Matter." And Trevor Noah makes some great points in that video posted right after the opening post. Many black boys are being unwatched as their mother works two jobs and takes too long to take too many buses home, while they don't know their father who went to jail or died. Those black boys, without knowing their fathers, follow their fathers' paths in life quite often. The cycle continues.

So I don't care for trivializing "Black Lives Matter" with "ALL Lives Matter." But "Blue Lives Matter" was inevitable as people hiding behind "Black Lives Matter" became violent against police. That goes back to Ferguson, Missouri and goes right up to the killing of officers.

What happens in America is polarization. People think they have to be all the way in or all the way out, all the way left or all the way right. Isn't it possible that "Black Lives Matter" is very very much in touch with the problem, AND the violence that results in the death of police officers is way out of line?

I fully get that sometimes, only radical reaction is taken seriously. But does it have to be radical and violent against people? If traffic cameras are wrong, protesters smash traffic cameras. If blacks are being wrongfully arrested and shot too easily upon arrest, wouldn't the answer be to organize support for legal action to defend wrongfully arrested blacks and to train blacks how to respond in such a way as to minimize being shot while being detained? ...and then to sue the jurisdictions that arrest and kill them?

It isn't politically correct to say that some of the people arrested are the scum of the earth and deserve a beat-down. And because of that, insisting that police wear cameras that work will go a long way toward proving your case. And it will allow cops to feel that when they need to shoot, the camera will back them up.

I understand that it is your right to not answer questions when arrested, to challenge being unjustly detained, to be uncooperative with improper requests from police. And I understand that your average white people don't face such problems as DRIVING WHILE BLACK in a white neighborhood. DRIVING WHILE WHITE in a black neighborhood is not at all the same. I get that white collar workers can misuse cocaine or prescription drugs or get a cab home from the local drinking establishment, while blacks get arrested for similar cocaine use or misuse of prescription drugs or they wind up drinking and driving or just drinking and walking drunk on the street. But if you want to win people over to "Black Lives Matter," you have to continue the work of men like Martin Luther King, Jr. and demonstrate that black people are better than the reputation given them.

19

Help Me Regain Contact With My Still In Family

by pale.emperor in

situation is, i'll never return to the wt.

my family with never leave the wt.. depending on who you ask you'll get the following answers when you ask about me:.

my family: he's confused.

OnTheWayOut

You must make your own choices. I can say what I think I would do in your situation, but even there- I just don't know. Keep in mind that I did successfully fade as I say what I would do in your shoes. I would never ever sit through a bunch of meetings to be reinstated. I would hold the course and hope that someone like my mother caves in a bit in order to see her granddaughter. I would say she can see her if I come along only. I would make my offer known to be of any physical assistance to my disabled brother and hope for the best there.

10

Still trying to cope with my new situation (wife woke up, cheated and left)

by nevaagain in

jw
friends

as you probably might know already, i already posted some lengthy posts about my situation,here: part 1 and here: part 2 is here.. to make it short, four weeks ago, my wife confessed that she cheated on me and immediately went upstairs to pack and to leave.

this was planned from beforehand because she already managed for an apartment in a different city and a job there.

the next day she sent an email to the elders out confessing of her wrong doings and wishing to get disassociated.. as a reason why she left, she told me, that we should have never married, because we don't fit together.

OnTheWayOut

When she woke up, she wanted a different life, without her marriage mate. Which means, she probably didn't love me to begin with. The conclusion for me is, probably it is better that way.

Slow down there. She probably did love you to begin with, but you were two different people in that cult than you became later. But the conclusion is right- it is better that way.

Stuckinarut2 and Just Fine have some great thoughts in earlier post above.

Regardless of your situation with the religion, look for a quicker way to "move on" there also and find your happiness elsewhere.