i'm a man - d'fd for 2.5 years now and divorced.
find it hard to date girls out here only due to always having this secret i carry with me that i was once a jw and the thought of telling a girl one day why my family don't acknowledge me as even alive.. recently been thinking of trying to get reinstated and then do a quick fade as i cant go back to the whole jw stuff.. easier said than done and was turned down twice by elders after an immediate attempt 2 years ago.. my motivation for trying would be 1.
) to see if family make contact and 2) play the last hand in their game and give the middle finger.. interested in viewpoints?.
My viewpoint is that I could never do it. But I get that some can do it.
Keep in mind that the moment they reinstate you, you don't have to be there anymore. You don't need to accept their calls anymore, don't need to work on getting "privileges" back, don't have to be turning in time slips- none of it.
If you manage to kiss ass long enough to get reinstated, don't keep wasting your life at a Kingdom Hall.
i've never liked being late for meetings, 10 minutes early has always been 5 minutes late for me.
i'm a very punctual atheist at the meetings still.. when someone asks a simple question from the platform and not one dummy raises their hand, i still feel the need to raise my hand so that we don't all look like idiots.. my shoes still need to be clean and polished, my suits and ties match and are in good shape.
i never wear them anywhere else.. i still feel like saying hello to people that are obviously being ignored by everyone else.. people not singing out still bugs me, lol.
The following is my opinion based on what I have experienced.
To "fade away" is to be less and less noticed. I get that this is hard for you, but really- if you want to fade, you have to at least stop raising your hand, try harder to arrive barely before meetings and leave right away afterward. Let people get used to you not being there. Really really really consider not being at any building/remodeling projects. (Luckily, they are so cash plagued that they might not be doing any in your area.)
Saying hello sounds wonderful, but these people will miss you when you finally make a move to reduce meetings. Don't go out of your way. The same people who love you might turn on you later. Try being cordial and waving on your way out the door.
Sing if you want. Don't re-join the frigging school.
i really fail to see how much actual "witnessing" is occurring with the trolley carts.publishers, usually pioneers, just stand or sit there not engaging anyone and count their time.. the only thing i notice that it's accomplishing is brand exposure for jw.0rg so the public is exposed to the logo and literature/poster card headlines.. take for example this "evening" witnessing by a pioneer elder while on summer holiday/vacation.. .
is this not a wth kinda moment when you consider the years of slaving, knocking on doors, business territory and bible studies we had to keep performing so we weren't branded a "weak" publisher?.
I was visiting Yosemite National Park and right smack in front of the Main Visitors Center, two JW men with their carts just sitting on a bench talking to each other. They probably weren't even allowed to approach people, they certainly were not being approached by anyone. Total waste of "time" probably so that they can say they are pioneering.
this is my current bottom-line conclusion after starting to see through the jw game 3 to 4 years ago and going through my own process of waking up.
it helps to write it down and put it "out there".
i hope it helps or resonates with you in your own personal process.. basically if i were given 10 seconds to say something to an active jehovah's witness that i cared about it would be the headline above.
By the way, God speaks to anyone who can listen to a recording of the bible or read it for themselves. And for the record, every person will definitely have a face to face encounter with God. Everyone.
Perry posts a wondereful example to demonstrate how true the opening post is. He lists his emotional opinions and goes on to the above quote.
Most of us have read the Bible and were misled by some sincere deluded "true-believer" among Jehovah's Witnesses and already know that there are many different sincere (and con artist) takes on the Bible.
Thanks for being the "Devil's Advocate," Perry.
those with substantial experience as jws will likely agree that judicial matters are handled with considerable inconsistency.
elders certainly vary in skill level, understanding, compassion or even knowledge of the talmudlike watchtower rules.
the punishment and, it is actually punishment, for similar offenses can result in anything from private or public reproof to disfellowshipping or sometimes an elder will choose to simply offer private counsel without even bringing the matter before the body of elders.
I would look at it differently if you know it's not the truth.
Reinstated with restrictions- no public prayers, talks, comments, no assigned responsibilities at the Kingdom Hall.
YOU ARE GOLDEN! ENJOY THE BREAK! I would never attempt to get "privileges" back.
i have settled in with a nice bottle of tullamore dew.
i have previously never tried any irish whiskeys other than jameson's.
i was wondering if there are any other irish whiskeys i should try.
The internet says that budget-minded people can try "2Gingers"
I wish you asked when my wife could have asked an Irishman on the street.
this really works.
i've already applied the basics of this with one elder who "offered" us a shepherding visit.
we've been totally ignored since!!!
My fade was completely different in that I kind of scared them with my discussions of doubts. But I don't recommend it. Go by the general rules The Searcher laid out here.
If you are pestered by elders, miss many meetings and say that you need money, need a ride, need groceries, need someone to cook for you when you are depressed or in the pains of arthritis. They hate actually helping people in need of any kind of monetary or physical assistance.
"they don't have a secret elder's book" so said my mother.
"all of our publications are open to everyone.
we all have the same information and nothing is hidden in this religion.".
millie210
I think it may have to do with the Elders School they attend where they are given information to write in the margins of their book, some of which gets rather detailed and somewhat strange.
It is a brilliant move though, that way if an elder acts on it, and a law suit or some type of complaint resulted, well...
its in the elders handwriting NOT the Societys!
That's the main thing. They all have virtually the same thing in the margins, but it's all hush-hush super secret, so secret that it couldn't be printed, but must be added on the fly in your handwriting. And you are supposed to fall on your sword if ever asked, saying the margin notes are your own understanding of what has been taught.
i went to the hall with my wife on sunday.
i try to be there for my wife at some meetings.
because she is still neck deep in the beliefs and she understands my fading and doesn't.
The request to those listening to "research the Jehovah's Witnesses for yourself" is just a mantra called out for the benefit of those already indoctrinated. It will cause them to believe that any such research would only lead back to belief in the doctrines. If anyone starts serious research, they will be told that outside sources are lies and Satanic manipulations and to only trust the internal writings of Watchtower.
Jehovah's Witnesses do not have doctrines, we have the truth.
Just another mantra- really just psycho-babble. This one is designed to make one think that "churches" have beliefs based on what men have said and Jehovah's Witnesses have teachings based on truth. As long as you hear "the truth" in the statement, it has some effect.
remember that this is humor.
rape is wrong.so really, i would rather go to bill cosby's home for an evening (and to be fair, even a gay version of bill cosby) than go to the kingdom hall.. at both, you would know that your hosts would keep the conversation clean.
bill stays on the high road (while speaking).
Londo111, yes. So nothing compared to a Quaalude, a pudding pop, and a ride home after a nap.
JRK, good point. You are raped at both. One does their best to make it enjoyable or at least tolerable.
