Posts by girasole

10

Stockpiling?

by girasole in

jw
friends

my mother said that the society sent a letter out to all congregations recently saying that they should keep a few days of food and supplies stored up in the case of a disaster.

anyone else heard this?

apparently it has stirred a lot of discussion about the fast approaching end of the system.

My mother said that the society sent a letter out to all congregations recently saying that they should keep a few days of food and supplies stored up in the case of a disaster. Anyone else heard this? Apparently it has stirred a lot of discussion about the fast approaching end of the system.

17

My story, i'm 23 and [edited]

by Greenleigh in

hey all, .

i was raised as a jw, did what my parents who have been in it since there teens.

got baptized at 15, pretty much my whole only child witness life was spent alone, i never had any close jw friends, because everyone in our congregation were so cliquey.anyways i stopped really attending meetings at age 19, when my best friend got df, i had already gotten privately reproved and i was upset and how they handled things with me, so i just told my mom i wasn't going to be a hyprocrit, and go to meetings and pretend to be happy, and agree with them... anyways long story short, i'm 23 now, and of course i got very depressed in 03, for about 6months, and just went through the mill, to be freaking around witnesses who i knew were fake drove me crazy, when u only ask how i am doing after not attending for months at a time, u are not my friend!.

girasole

Hi Greenleigh,

It's traumatic and horrible the mind games that witness friends and family will play when someone they love is trying to leave. They will do and say the most unloving things.

Every family and person is different, however, I can understand where you're coming from. I am an only child as well and when I first expressed my feelings to my parents it was devastating for them. They told me everything from 1) that I should feel horrible about setting such a bad example for the other young people who looked up to me and that I was damaging everyone in the congregation to 2) that I was going to cause them to have to question their faith (as if that would be such a terrible thing to 3) that they couldn't believe that they had a daughter who had turned out so selfish and self-centered. And that just names a few on top of dying at Armageddon, etc etc. I'm sure I've blocked out the worst of what they said. I think it's especially difficult if you're an only child because there's no one else there to divide the attention. And I'm sure it's even more challenging if you're still living at home.

It is very hard not to let all of that kind of jargin get to you. I can be quite psychologically damaging. It helps to remind yourself not to take it too personally - it's just a product of the brainwashing and the teaching that they are being loving.

girasole

11

Suspicious JW activity? Anyone else had a visit lately?

by Pioneer Spit...oh, i mean Spirit in

jw
friends

last sunday, two elders came to our place, we peeked and didn't answer.

it's their first visit since their last and only visit 2 years ago.. my dad called yesterday to say hi, i told him i was confused by his call since, i reminded him, he and my mom and my sisters and brother disowned me.

he even said they want to come for a visit, and they miss me (out of state), i told him that seems off.

girasole

It seems like many are reporting letters/calls from old friends or elders lately. Could this have anything to do with what was mentioned in an earlier thread about the recent admonition to try and "encourage" inactive or outcasted ones?

Also, when the COs come around they are technically supposed to make an attempt at visiting all the known df'd, da'd or inactive ones.

12

Should Ex-JWs Speak Out?

by girasole in

jw
friends

when it comes to the jws i used to hold the position, "to each his own.

" i still do in some respects.

i agree that it is most likely futile to try de-convert a die-hard jw.

girasole

When it comes to the JWs I used to hold the position, "to each his own." I still do in some respects. I agree that it is most likely futile to try de-convert a die-hard JW. I look at my mother and I know that this would be in most cases unfruitful. She readily buys into each and every admonition from the society and brags endessly about how superior in thought and action the witnesses are and how stupid everyone else is. She does not think critically about any other viewpoints, but instead takes them at face value, knowing what she should accept and what she shouldn't (as she's been trained to do).

My husband (never a witness) has always thought that EXs should band together and shout from their rooftops so to speak - to expose the roots of this manipulative organization - with the thought that it might not work for everyone who is interested in becoming a JW but it might save some. And for those who would never have been interested anyway, it would educate some on why this isn't an organization they or anyone that they know should be a part of.

What do you think? Should we make more of an effort to speak out about some of the things that we're posting about on this board. If you already have, what kind of things have you done? I just read the thread about those distributing KM 37 to local churches so that they can see what the witnesses really think about them. Any other thoughts/ideas?

girasole

27

What affect did the Watchtower have on your emotional health?

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

untitled document  watchtower arouses emotions how much of an affect did the organization have on you deciding to become one of.

jehovah's witnesses or staying within the confines of the organization?.

did the artists rendition of paradise earth pull you into the "truth"?

girasole

When I initially left the witnesses, it created such an emotional event that when things finally finally settled down I felt like I was suffering from post traumatic stress. I was immobilized and numb for a while. Day after day I was sought out by individuals, my parents included and those interactions would no doubt end in sobbing and pleading. My answering machine filled up and I eventually just turned it off. A couple of times I attempted to hide out at the secluded farm that belonged to one of my few non-witness friends. Low and behold they even found me there. It was there that my BF told me that we could no longer be friends. Things stayed at a climax for nearly a year and when the finally settled down it was only for a few months and then there was another "blow up." I think after that I was scared to relax - it's like i was just waiting for the next ball to drop and I could never let my guard down.

What I found to be so hard to take at the time was that no matter how hard I tried to plead with my parents to listen to me - to just hear my point of view I could not even manage to get them to comprehend my words much less try to understand. It was made even more difficult by their constant insistance that it was MY decision and that everything that was happening was my fault (even though I had made it clear that it was not my intention that our relationship should end). It turns out that we do still have somewhat of a relationship but at the time it didn't seem like it would end up that way. It was also horrible for me to watch their devastation. I am an only child and I had never seen my dad cry until I told them how I felt about things.

I felt like an insane person as I was terrified of running into a fellow witness at the grocery store or a restaruant. I would even scan the parking lots to see if I noticed any familiar vehicles or faces ( I lived in a relatively small town at the time.) Now, I can't even remember what I was so afraid of but at the time it was immobilizing. I walked everywhwere with a knot in my stomach. I think that even though I knew I had done the right thing I still was not completely "in my skin" or completely comfortable with my decision. Partly I think that I felt that I constantly had to prove to anyone that I saw that i was okay - because I assumed that they'd think my life would automatically to to pot - actually, for a while it was almost like I became a self-fulfilling prophesy. I was just waiting for that bad thing to happen just like they said it would. I began to imagine the worst in every possible scenario in everything. I had nightmares and daydreams that were as vivid as nightmares.

I felt like things were so out of control, like there was so much that was happening in my life that I couldn't control - not without going back to the witnesses, which thankfully I never considered. I too ended up developing an eating disorder amongst other things. At the worst I looked like a near skeleton and was down to a mere 99lbs. At some point, how or why, I cannot recollect at the moment but I was able to recognize why I was doing what i was doing and slowly things began to get better. I also have been through two therapists. And the second really helped me and worked with me to recognize that I was in control of my own life and my own feelings and that I could choose how I felt and how I reacted to every situation that arises in my life. I have the power!

I feel better and better everyday and am grateful to be free of the mind slavery.

girasole

17

I got a letter this week from an old friend

by nsrn in

i'm musing over a letter i received in the mail, from by childhood best friend.

it's a brief newsy letter asking about my parents, recalling some fun times, and recounting her happy 23 years of pioneering.

her 14 year old son stays busy with preparing for meetings..... we were best friends from age 6 or 8. we spent every weekend at each others' houses.

girasole

I too can sympathize. When I first started missing meetings my best friend of nearly 12 years told me that we could no longer be friends if I kept going in the direction that I was going - ie - out of the truth. Ironically enough, I was going through some things this weekend and found a card that she had sent to me years before I ever had any inclination of leaving the witnesses. It said that there would no doubt be bumps along the road in our friendship but that we'd make it through whatever comes along and be lifelong friends. I guess then she could not foresee this one particular bump. I have not spoken to her since the day that she ended our friendship. Despite everything, I still think off her often and I miss the connection that we had.

35

THE JW MALE

by Dansk in

jw
friends

i honestly believe most jw males stay in the orgnisation because they are given control, i.e.

married males have ultimate control over their wives and children.

i know a woman who was married to an elder and who said that prior to becoming a jw she would never be submissive to her husband.

girasole

I think you are right, Ian. And what is worse is that they try so hard to project the image that that they value and cherish women so much. I can't tell you how many times I sat at KH weddings and listened to a stupid analogy about the woman being a delicate vase and the man a sturdy mug. Please. I remember when I was a child and my family and I were studying, the sister came with a brother who could not conduct the study so she conducted it with a paper napkin on her head for a head covering. I mean, how ridiculous can you get?

17

How much truth is there within the Watchtower Society?

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

how much truth within the organization?

often times, having spent so many years as being one of jehovah's.

witnesses, the question crosses my mind, "how much truth was.

girasole

I do not remember much of what was presented in the book they use to try and bridge science and creation (I can't even remember the name of the book) but I wondered how many of the angles presented there are true. I remember that the book is pretty simplistic and many of the conclusions are ever-changing so I'm sure that they are not regularly reprinting the book to keep up with the times. I remember that when we were studying that book in the book study that someone who was majoring in a science-related field ( I lived in a university town) came to two meetings and made a number of comments and posed critical questions that left the BS conductors speechless. Of course, after the meeting they tried to leave all that behind and just blind him with kindness. It didn't work though. He came back one more time and then never again. I recently threw away the last of my witness books but I wish I had kept that one just so that I could compare what is presented with what is widely accepted and taught. Along the lines with what fokyc was saying I've often wondered if the elders realize that they are duping people. My husband who was never a witness thinks that they know exactly what they are doing at all levels - and I do agree that there are o doubt many conscious abuses of power in every congregation but I tend to think that it's the GB who knows exactly what they are doing and that the elders are just their tools and most of them are duped as well. girasole

38

How good does if feel to you not attending meetings anymore?

by ex-perfectdaughter in

i have been in the truth my whole life and tomorrow i turn 32!

the last year i have been fading and haven't been to the kh since the memorial.

i can't tell you how it has been such a heavy burden lifted off my shoulders not to have to worry about so many meetings!!!

girasole

I remember when I first stopped attending meetings- - the first few times I acually got dressed and then undressed about 5 times before I made the resolve not to go and to instead do something else. That was back when I was terrified of being in my own apartment for fear that a witness would come knocking at my door begging me to come back - and when I feared running into a witness when I went out to eat or to the grocery store. So in the beginning it was a relief for me to know that was a time when I could go out and not have to worry about running into anyone because they were all at the KH. I don't fear that anymore and it's just nice for my time to actually be MY time - without any of those old obligations. My parents are still witnesses and I fear that my father's health is in danger because of all the obligations and stress. He's an elder, conducts a book study, and has a demanding career that requires that he spend an upwards of 45-50hrs a week at the office. there is very little "down time" at their house. when he's home he's preparing for a talk, a book study, or preparing to conduct the watchtower. When he's not doing that, he's getting flack from my mom about how it's his job to take care of those in his book study and if someone doesn't come to the meeting he needs to call them and see what's up, if their sick he needs to visit, etc. my father is naturally a rather introverted person and none of these things come very naturally to him. i wish that he could see that he does not need to spend all of that time fighting his nature and that it's okay to just be who he is. girasole

28

Why no Kingdom Ministries???

by mama1119 in

when i was disfellowshipped, the elders told me i could have copies of the watchtower and awake and any publications for bookstudy etc, but could not have a kingdom ministry...does anyone know why that rule???

?

girasole

I agree that it's just another tactic to make those who are d'fed feel ostrasized. But I also think that it's an attempt, though not an effective one, at keeping their tactics on the "inside." As an example, one of the last TMS meetings that I attended included a discussion on "Showing personal interest in order to give a witness." There was even a demonstration of a "brother" talking with his neighbor and then later bringing the conversation around to witness related matters. A person who has not been indoctrinated would look at that and no doubt conclude that the interest shown there was contrived and not genuine. They most likely do not want people looking at the topics in the KMs objectively - and determining that they are superficial and shallow nature. They'd prefer those topics to be shrouded in their interpretations and repititive assurances of their "true" and wholesome motivations and explanations of why it IS loving and meaningful to take certain approaches in the ministry. They don't want for any dick, tom, or harry, reading the KM for the same reason they don't want for just anyone and everyone to read the shepherding the flock book - because when people read those things and are in a position to be objective and unattached it reveals just how shallow the witness tactics really are. girasole