Posts by girasole

14

Inactive/Faded JWs

by Chameleon in

jw
friends

when the active jws come to your door, do you listen and take whatever they're offering, or do you not open the door?

when i move out (which i hope is soon), i'm planning to fade, but i am sure that my father (elder) will insist on knowing which cong.

i'm attending.

Welcome Chameleon,

I'd have to agree with Delilah. I think you should be prepared to tell your parents the truth. Even if you do try to be covert about things there's still a good chance that they'll have to find out sooner or later. Do they ever plan to visit? If they do, they'll no doubt want to attend a meeting with you. And depending on whether or not they plan to help you move this might come sooner rather than later. You're the best judge, of course, as to the likelihood of either of those two things.

Every body of elders is different - some more micromanaging than others. I managed to fade without a single visit from the elders. I was still attending my family's congregation when I stopped attending meetings and I told them that I wasn't coming back before I missed my first meeting. My father is an elder and I think he may be the reason that the elders never visited - ie - at his request. For many though, this is not the case. If the elders do get your publisher cards whether or not you come to a meeting they may call on you to "encourage" you and inquire about your spiritual state.

If you do decide to keep this from your parents for as long as you can just be prepared that you are just prolonging the inevitable. You will not be able to hide forever. If you go ahead and tell them then it's more likely that you'll be in control of the situation and not caught off guard.

Best of luck whatever you decide to do.

girasole

38

Your Most Hair-Raising Moments in Field Service

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

your most hair-raising moments in field service throughout my tenure of being one of jehovah's.

witnesses, i am thankful that there were only.

two or three incidents which proved to be some.

girasole

I never had any really hair raising moments. But one time I did go to a door - I think it was my first door of the morning and I had awakened the guy who answered the door who was groggy and droopy eyed, and trying to shield his face from the sunlight then streaming in from his open door. I introduced myself only I made a blunder and said that I was my friend and my friend was me - flip-flopping our names. I could have just moved on and he would have been none the wiser. But after the mistake I got so cracked up I could barely continue - so I just went blubberinly on trying to correct my mistake. You should have seen the poor guy - he probably thought he was hallucinating - or maybe still dreaming. I was laughing so hard that I don't think I even did my presentation.
I just held out the magazines and excused myself and my friend - telling him we'd try again later. What a wake up call!

Another time a guy came to the door and apparently the only thing he could find to cover himself was his door mat. So he stood there covering himself with it.

There was also an older man who chased us off his property shaking his fists at us and screaming that we were "baby killers" (referring to the blood policy). We were literally walking backwards on the sidewalk away from his house with him following us.

On another point, it always irritated me how JWs would pass judgement on people if they knew someone was home and they didn't come to the door or if they did come to the door and were curt, cutting them short. They'd walk away from the door snickering that the "householder" was hiding or remarking about how rude they were. I mean, hellooo, isn't it rude to come banging on someone's door, uninvited, invading their privacy, assuming, "if it's a good time for me it MUST be a good time for you too - and if it's not a good time surely you'll realize how important our message is and drop whatever you're doing to talk with us."

girasole

37

How did you feel, when you missed your 1st Memorial?

by JH in

jw
friends

i remember going to each memorial even when i was inactive.

i felt that i had to go to atleast that meeting.. then one year, i was sick on that day, and didn't go to the memorial.

it was a funny feeling to miss the most important day of the year, as a jw would call it.. but i got used to it, when i missed my 2nd and 3rd memorial..

girasole

I did the same thing that I did when I missed my first meeting. I got dressed, paced around, got undressed, paced around, got dressed, paced around, and so on and so forth until I finally decided to do something else. I remember specifically for the memorial having a little mental battle inside my head - thinking, why not just go, what harm would it do? Just go and leave. Then I quickly remembered what would likely ensue if I really did go.

I'm pretty sure that for both my first missed meeting and my first missed memorial I went out to dinner. It was nice at the time to be able to go out and not worry about running into any witnesses.

girasole

27

WHY NO LIBEL THREAT?

by Dansk in

i write this due to thinking about the problems trev and linda have had with watchtower regarding their website, which clearly states on the homepage that if one is a jw the site isn't for them.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/11/121693/1.ashx.

the site can be found here: http://beehive.thisisderbyshire.co.uk/default.asp?wci=sitehome&id=12882.

girasole

The WTS also has a way of turning things that are said against them into further proof that they are right. IE - We know we have the truth because we are persecuted. So in a way, sites like these give them further clout - or they turn it into such. Then it becomes, to those who are fully indoctrinated, like you cannot say anything against them. Anything negative that you say about them just empowers them in their beliefs even more.

The WTS is not going to go after every single site or author who speaks out against them. They WANT for their members to feel persecuted.

girasole

10

Did the JW life, cause anxiety?

by JH in

jw
friends

often i heard the elders say, "when a person is physically sick, they should go see a doctor, and in the same way, when you're spiritually sick you should go see the elders".

so, they compare themselves to doctors.... so, for the sake of it, let's say a jw went to see a doctor and complained about anxiety due to jw meetings and their way of life, and being stressed because the watchtower asks too much.. now lets say the doctor would say, the cause of your problems is your religion, stop going and you'll feel better !

so, you go tell the elders that the root of your anxiety is the meetings and field service and all the stress related to the jw religion.

girasole

I think most devout JWs will always attribute the stress not to their beloved religion but to trying to be a "faithful christian" in this system of things. Satan, they say, is making it hard on them.

I was surprised recently when my mother acknowledged that work coupled with responsibilities at the meetings to be the cause of my father's stress and anxiety. She also admitted that this could have an adverse affect on his health. She said that sometimes there's one night per week that they can just relax but sometimes they don't even have that. But instead of being proactive about making changes she instead said that things would get better when he could retire.

I also think that JWs are good at convincing themselves and others that they *love* what they're doing. When really they know that they are *supposed* to love what they're doing so they convince themselves that they really do.

girasole

149

Issuing a Challenge to Atheists and Unbelievers

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

questions for the atheists and unbelievers understandably, individuals who have left the organization did so for.

personal and more than likely good reasons.

and after reading the .

girasole

Quote:
>>>>>Now, that you are no longer one of Jehovah's Witnesses without a belief
in God, and associated with an organization that has a structured belief
system, does that justify a disbelief in God or the supernatural?<<<<<

First off, I think that I can safely speak for most, that most of us did not leave the witnesses and then just suddenly decide to also not believe in god. I have found that, because of the impact that religion has had on our lives, ex-witnesses tend to scrutinize religion in general and the claims of religion and the Bible a little more than the general population. It appears that that investigation and scrutiny has led some to not believe in god. Which is a right that each person holds - to believe what they will. We all,

Personally I do not deny the possibility that god exists - but my investigations have led me to believe that god most likely does not exist. I do not feel the need to attribute what I see and what I can't see, understand, or explain to proof of god's existence. I simply means that I can't explain how it happens or that I can't see it with my naked eye. To me, it's comparable to watching a magic show - it's magic because you don't know how it happens but that doesn't mean that there is no explanation or that it's supernatural.

girasole

11

Preaching the Watchtower Society's Message of Morality

by The wanderer in

jw
friends

the morals taught by the watchtower society there are two sides to this story and once again it will spark a .

heated controversy.

and once again, i make no apologies for .

girasole

It's all about appearances with the JWs. I have to consider too the motivation for the morality teachings. The reason for enforcing them is more for, again, appearances than for the good of the members. And it's another means of creating a "them" and "us" mentality. They can piously consider themselves better than other religions and others in general because they take measures to enforce teachings of morality but they don't hesitate to lie to cover things up, shun their family members, and condemn everyone that does not agree with them.

Morality is not as black and white as to encompass only the likes of abstaining from sex, drinking, and drugs. It's about acting ethically and showing respect for other human beings.

girasole

26

Who else has trouble making friends?

by new light in

jw
friends

haven't posted here in a while, but i"ve been out now almost three years.

just looking to hear from others who have had trouble making friends due to a childhood of jw antisocialism toward the real world.

it's really starting to piss me off that i still keep people at a distance and do things to nip any new friendships at the bud when it gets that far.

girasole

Thank you for posting this. I was going to post the exact same question but you beat me to it. :)
Sometimes I feel like I have two strikes against me - being an ex-jw and also being an only child.
Growing up I spent a lot of time alone. As a child, having no siblings, I played alone and figured out
how to entertain myself. Sometimes in social situations I feel like everyone else received some memo
before the "party" that I didn't get - one that told them what to say, what to ask, how to act.

I don't blame the JWs entirely for my situation. I would have a measure of social anxiety with or without
them, I'm sure. But the feelings that they instilled of being suspicious of others, being separate, keeping
the world at a distance, certainly hasn't helped since I left. It's been four years and I have yet to develop any
close friendships.

Then there's also been the struggle of getting to know myself all over again. It's hard to get close to anyone and
share yourself with someone when you're not even really sure who you are. Maybe others feel the same - but after I
left there was such emotional havoc that I was mentally and emotionally tired - I sort of "hibernated" for a while.
I just lived from day to day not really thinking critically about anything or doing any deep thinking. It's only
recently that I've really started to feel "in my skin" and really understand who I am - what I'm about.

I suppose it just takes time.

girasole

36

original sin and evolution creationists

by BlackSwan of Memphis in

jw
friends

ok i've been trying to understand this.... there are a good number of christians out there who most definitely believe that god used evolution as a means of creating us.

for instance, i am pretty sure that the catholic church accepts this idea.. if man came about by evolution, how does sin come into play?

at what point did man sin and how does the story of adam and eve fit into this picture?.

girasole

I am just beginning to read up on this subject - but if you're interested a good place to start might be googling "evolutionary psychology." The link below gives an introduction and also a synopsis of some of the contibutors to the field.

http://www.evoyage.com/Whatis.html

girasole

45

What's the most "personal" information an elder ever ask you?

by JH in

once an elder asked me if i had any problems with masturbation?

i told him, no !!!!

that was before getting baptized.

girasole

I never had that happen to me - but heard stories similiar to the ones posted here many times. First of all, I think that some, not all of them get their jollies from exploiting people like that. They like to hear all that intimate details - and I'm sure that it makes some feel all pure and powerful and superior as well. And secondly, it's a gross means of control by humiliation. It's hard to then ascertain what's normal, natural, and healthy because you have that association and memory of how you felt when you were being asked those things. They make sure that you feel degraded, beaten down and belittled and WEAK. And they use that opportunnity to also reinforce that you need them to stay strong and overcome inclinations that you don't actually need to overcome.