Inkling-that was very well written. You should be a journalist.
Yes, I totally relate to that feeling of wasting a whole miserable day, yet somehow feeling that I had Jehovah's approval. It's all part of the cultish brainwashing, really. They always hammered into our heads "Spend every spare minute in service; Do more; Quit your job and pioneer." Actually, it wasn't Jehovah's approval that we sought-it was that of the elders and the GB. So, even when I would spend countless and exhausting hours in service and feel a slight hint of a sense of pride, there was always that nagging feeling that it was NEVER ENOUGH. Oh, god, I hated "field service" with a passion! That is one thing I'll never miss.