The European Union(EU) has just announced an agreement whereby
> >English will be the official language of the EU rather than German,
> >which was the other possibility.
> >
> >As part of the negotiations, the British Government conceded that
> >English spelling had some room for improvement and has accepted a
> >5-year phase-in plan that would become known as "Euro-English".
> >
> >In the first year, "s" will replace the soft "c". Sertainly, this
> >will make the sivil servants jump with joy.
> >
> >The hard "c" will be dropped in favour of "k". This should klear up
> >konfusion, and keyboards kan have one less letter.
> >
> >There will be growing publik enthusiasm in the sekond year when the
> >troublesome "ph" will be replaced with "f". This will make words
> >like fotograf 20% shorter.
> >
> >In the 3rd year, publik akseptanse of the new spelling kan be
> >expekted to reach the stage where more komplikat ed changes are possible.
> >
> >Governments will enkourage the removal of double letters which have
> >always ben a deterent to akurate speling.
> >
> >Also, al wil agre that the horibl mes of the silent "e" in the
> >languag is disgrasful and it should go away.
> >
> >By the 4th yer people wil be reseptiv to steps such as replasing
> >"th" with "z" and "w" with "v".
> >
> >During ze fifz yer, ze unesesary "o" kan be dropd from vords
> >kontaining "ou" and after ziz fifz yer, ve vil hav a reil sensi bl
> >rite n styl.
> >
> >Zer vil be no mor trubl or difikultis and evrivun vil find it ezi tu
> >understand ech oza. Ze drem of a united urop vil finali kum tru.
> >
> >Und efter ze fifz yer, ve vil al be speking German like zey vunted
> >in ze forst plas.
> >
> >If zis mad you smil, pleas pas on to oza pepl
> >
>
>
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Posts by ania
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1English the official language
by ania inthe european union(eu) has just announced an agreement whereby.
> >english will be the official language of the eu rather than german,.
> >as part of the negotiations, the british government conceded that.
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ania
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25
IRISH HUMOUR
by ania insome of these i didn't find very funny but i didn't omit them because i thought some1 else might like them subject: irish humour... paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an .
>important.
>meeting and couldn't find a parking place.. >.
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ania
Some of these i didn't find very funny but i didn't omit them because i thought some1 else might like them Subject: Irish Humour.. Paddy was driving down the street in a sweat because he had an
>important
>meeting and couldn't find a parking place.
>
>Looking up to heaven he said, "Lord take pity on me. If you find me
>a
>parking place I will go to Mass every Sunday for the rest of me life
>and
>give up me Irish Whiskey".
>
>Miraculously, a parking place appeared.
>
>Paddy looked up again and said, "Never mind, I found one."
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and says to the first man
>he
>meets, "Do you want to go to heaven?"
>
>The man said, "I do Father."
>
>The priest said, "Then stand over there against the wall."
>
>Then the priest asked the second man, "Do you want to got to
>heaven?"
>
>"Certainly, Father," was the man's reply.
>
>"Then stand over there against the wall," said the priest.
>
>Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and said, "Do you want to go
>to
>heaven?"
>
>O'Toole said, "No, I don't Father."
>
>The priest said, "I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that
>when
>you die you don't want to go to heaven?"
>
>O'Toole said, "Oh, when I die, yes. I thought you were getting a
>group
>together to go right now." ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>O'Toole worked in the lumber yard for twenty years and all that time
>he'd been stealing the wood and selling it. At last his conscience
>began
>to bother him and he went to confession to repent.
>
>"Father, it's 15 years since my last confession, and I've been
>stealing
>wood from the lumber yard all those years," he told the priest.
>
>"I understand my son," says the priest. "Can you make a Novena?"
>
>O'Toole said, "Father, if you have the plans, I've got the lumber."
> ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Paddy was in New York. He was patiently waiting, and watching the
>traffic cop on a busy street crossing. The cop stopped the flow of
>traffic and shouted, "Okay pedestrians". Then he'd allow the traffic
>to
>pass. He'd done this several times, and Paddy still stood on the
>sidewalk.
>
>After the cop had shouted "Pedestrians" for the tenth time, Paddy
>went
>over to him and said, "Is it not about time ye let the Catholics
>across?" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read
>in
>the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best
>friend
>Finney.
>
>"Did you see the paper?" asked Gallagher. "They say I died!!"
>
>"Yes, I saw it!" replied Finney. "Where are ye callin' from?"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>An Irish priest is driving down to New York and gets stopped for
>speeding in Connecticut. The state trooper smells alcohol on the
>priest's breath and then sees an empty wine bottle on the floor of
>the
>car. He says, "Sir, have you been drinking?"
>
>"Just water," says the priest.
>
>The trooper says, "Then why do I smell wine?"
>
>The priest looks at the bottle and says, "Good Lord! He's done it
>again!" ~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~
>
>Walking into the bar, Mike said to Charlie the bartender, "Pour me a
>stiff one - just had another fight with the little woman."
>
>"Oh yeah?" said Charlie "And how did this one end?"
>
>"When it was over," Mike replied, "she came to me on her hands and
>knees."
>
>"Really," said Charles, "now that's a switch! What did she say?"
>
>She said, "Come out from under the bed, you little chicken s**t"
>~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~ -
30
Unusual preaching method I spotted today..
by ackack inwhile waiting for a streetcar today, i noticed an unusal flier stuck to the side of a newspaper box.
why has love of neighbour grown cold?many people feel miserable with no solution.
in israel, jews and arabs live together, but often hate one another.
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ania
GET OUT WHILE YOU CAN LASHAWN (of the borg i mean)
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30
Unusual preaching method I spotted today..
by ackack inwhile waiting for a streetcar today, i noticed an unusal flier stuck to the side of a newspaper box.
why has love of neighbour grown cold?many people feel miserable with no solution.
in israel, jews and arabs live together, but often hate one another.
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ania
Forget my last post i'm not sorry at all. It annoys me that some "well wishers" can be so b****y ignorant how can you comment on something you have little or no experience with
"Jesus said that love would identify his true followers: "By this all people will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another." (Jn 13:35, ESV). Jehovah's Witnesses are, in fact, well known for helping their neighbours."
pity they're not so "well known" for helping their children i just came off reading a very old thread from here,
http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/12/49021/1.ashx
i cried when i read this it certainly sounded like a carbon copy of my life as a dub, now i'm just angry...angry at self rightious do gooders who skim the surface of the ocean and then think they know it's depths...& to think there are 60,000 odd cultists out there "bringing up" children in a similar way because the org tells them this is what God wants...
'Jehovah's Witnesses are a highly civilized people...you almost feel as hough you were in paradise, since the atmosphere is relaxed, peaceful and serene.'..."These Christians do not fight among themselves... they have love in their hearts
if Jehovah's Witnesses were the only ones living on earth...god help them
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30
Unusual preaching method I spotted today..
by ackack inwhile waiting for a streetcar today, i noticed an unusal flier stuck to the side of a newspaper box.
why has love of neighbour grown cold?many people feel miserable with no solution.
in israel, jews and arabs live together, but often hate one another.
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ania
Worst impression of a non-JW ever!
You lot crack me up... youre all so funny. I realy enjoyed reading this thread i nearly wet myself reading this bit...
Oh, no! Please Jehovah, protect us from those horrible, evil, sons and daughters of adam and eve. You know the one's I mean. Those ones who have the audacity to think with their minds!
What shall we call this new insidious breed? I know! I know! "Mind Thinkers". Oh the sheer horror of it!
Cog (I just insulted my first troll. That was fun)
Sorry La Shawn but i checked out your other posts & you realy do sound like a jw. If you spend a bit of time here you will see wot many people have been through. The last thing we need is to be preached at .Wot i like about this site is the FREEDOM to be allowed to think & speak my mind & not be DICTATED as to wot to say & feel without thinking.
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34
NZ beautiful
by ania ini love it in here sooo much and so do my kids just wanted to share some of my photo's with people who i know will appreciate the beauty of our natural environment and wildlife: if anyone ever gets a chance to visit nz please don't drive through kaikoura on your way (from christchurch to blenheim) you would be missing out on one of the most special places in the world!!!.
seals about 3 minutes walk down the beach from where i live.
aren't they gorgeous???.
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ania
jet propelled beer cooler
Stephanus-looks like a pretty expensive way of keeping your beer cold to me hmm wonder why he doesn't just get a beer fridge in his shed . I guess it's a bloke thing huh? And they say women are impractical, go figure
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15
How many people in this forum are from NewZealand??
by ania inhello i am a newbie and just saw another person in the forum from nz.
it hadn't even occured to me...now i wonder how many there are??
?
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ania
Wow that sounds great i don't get much time to do any of those things (only hear about it from all the customers where i work) my fault for being such a workaholic.
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34
NZ beautiful
by ania ini love it in here sooo much and so do my kids just wanted to share some of my photo's with people who i know will appreciate the beauty of our natural environment and wildlife: if anyone ever gets a chance to visit nz please don't drive through kaikoura on your way (from christchurch to blenheim) you would be missing out on one of the most special places in the world!!!.
seals about 3 minutes walk down the beach from where i live.
aren't they gorgeous???.
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ania
Like a good NZer, he sung his own praises and knighted himself. Probably after inventing the aeroplane, the pavlova and Yates seeds...
OK, ok, ok you win thats pretty funny
Dannevirke was founded by the Danes like most of the rest of da vorld, so i'm still not giving him any credit for being a true kiwi
You Ozzie's
Juni- i'd love to be able to travel the world but hey, if you can't do that you have to be able to make the most of where you are. There are so many NZ beautiful places most kiwi's haven't even seen before they travel overseas
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15
How many people in this forum are from NewZealand??
by ania inhello i am a newbie and just saw another person in the forum from nz.
it hadn't even occured to me...now i wonder how many there are??
?
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ania
My nieghbours kids saw some whales yesterday in Kaikoura
Great Did they go out on Whale watch if they did they're luck they got in yesterday as whale watch didn't run today apparently it was due to southerlies and rough water. There has been a Southern Wright and her calf hanging out in the bay (outside whale watch) for a couple of weeks now which have been attracting a large gathering
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34
NZ beautiful
by ania ini love it in here sooo much and so do my kids just wanted to share some of my photo's with people who i know will appreciate the beauty of our natural environment and wildlife: if anyone ever gets a chance to visit nz please don't drive through kaikoura on your way (from christchurch to blenheim) you would be missing out on one of the most special places in the world!!!.
seals about 3 minutes walk down the beach from where i live.
aren't they gorgeous???.
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ania
Jonno-WOW!!! what awesome pics it must be a little like being in heaven being up that high. I have never been skiing or snowboarding (it's like a whole other world) i mostly hang out on the beach or in the bush when i have time