Posts by AgentSmith

20

Funny Field Service Experiences

by I quit! in

jw
friends

i just remember this one.

one time i was going door to door in a retirement community.

i'm not sure but i think ite was sponsored by the lutheran church.

AgentSmith

While doing isolated territory in the rural area of Limpopo province -South Africa, we split up our car groups to cover more of the little villages.

We had to get permission to get to them from the land-owners or farmers first.

During the 'sit down' discussing what we are about with the farmer and his wife they invited us in for some coffee. These farm folk don't get many visitors it seemed.

Young Agent Smith, about 10 years old, decided to explore, while all this boring chit chat is going on.

The cows were just milked, or something and streamed past me. I was sitting on the wooden fencing, looking at this very interesting place. The cows were gone now. The tractors were being cleaned, the pigs fed. All new to this city boy! The farm hands were washing out the milking station. This looked like a good place to start exploring.

Now all the cow dung, bits of straw washed into a section on the farm, that looked firm enough to walk on. Young Agent Smith, that did not know ANYHING about farms decided to walk on this. I mean, its got sand and bits of straw etc all over the place!

Quick sand has nothing on this cR@p! I sank down to my waist in watery, stinky Shi....you get the idea.

With peals of laughter the farm guys ran over to help me out. I get a bit of a rinse off, and I thanked them for pulling me out. I did not understand the language, but I understood that my little misshap was going to be the most entertainment they were hoping to get for a while.

As I walked back to the car (I can still hear the hysterical laughter from the barn) I had to explain to my parents what happened. We went back to the campsite in town, with all the car windows open. No more fieldies for me that day!

Agent Smith

15

JW'S AND GOSSIP...MY GOD!

by airwlk149 in

geez- does gossip spread in j dub land.

last night when i got home there was a message from a jw friend asking me to call her.

well, i did and she had heard that i had moved in with a "worldly" person and asked me how i was, etc... i asked her where she had heard that and she told me so&so told her.

AgentSmith

Mrs Smith and I was lucky to fade, without too much attention drawn to us. We did however get more courage later on, but we made sure the family was not aware of what we were up to.

During the Dec holidays in 2008 we had the expected run-in with my PO father, and Brother in law (also and elder). We said our bit, and they represented the BORG very well. And at first it seemed as if they kept the fact that we were 'out' to themselves. No call from the local elders, elders from our last congregation, no JC, nothing.

Recently I received an e mail. Suddenly I get asked if I am d'fed. From a person that now lives 15 000km away. Also, I have not spoken to this person for 20 years or so.

Why now? What is so interesting that you need to know? 20years+ later? How did you find out??

It took me a few minutes to figure out how the rumour travelled from person to person. Despite the humiliation that his/her son/brother has gone 'apostate', they still spoke about it, and it ended up on another continent.

Aaah gossip.... it's all good.

Screw what James had to say about a little flame that can cause damage. Only applies inside the cong, everyone else is fair game.

AS

21

did you stash literature away in 1974?

by Aussie Oz in

in ballarat victoria, australia, under the floor of the garage in a little yard, it a pile of wt literature.. in 1974, expecting banning and persecution, mother and we 3 children dug a hole and buried bibles, watchtowers and god knows what.. i wonder if it is still there?.

took a look on google earth and the shed still stands!!!.

oz.

AgentSmith

My parents hid bibles all over the place in the 70's. Our home was built during the 40's and the kitchen design left a lot of 'hidey-holes' between cupboards and drawers. I remember how all the green NWT's ended up in there.

I don't recall any publications in those hiding spots. We were sooo prepared for the great tribulation. Now my parents are in their 70's. ....still waiting....

AS

150

Most Ridiculous Thing You've Ever Been Counseled On

by MrFreeze in

i'm sure topics like this have already come up but they tend to get hilarious with the absolute absurdity that goes on in the kh.

i was once counseled for not shaving after two days.

i was also counseled by a sister for eating lucky charms cereal.

AgentSmith

I was told to change my newborn son's feeding times so that Mrs Smith does not miss out in the 'spiritual food'. I said to him, verbatim, "You are not well" And walked away. In retrospect he was a dumb@ss anyway.

Also had council from elder,...who went to my father, the presiding overseer, who in turn came to me, so that I could council my wife, (The supper sexy Mrs Smith) that her dress moves up when my son sits on her lap, thus exposing too much leg. Which a young brother noticed and was distracted by during the Watchtower study.....

101

"Jesus did not die on the cross" (Gunnar Samuelsson)

by Titus in

"jesus did not die on the cross" .

a new doctoral dissertation in theology from gothenburg university claims that the bible has been misinterpreted when it comes to how jesus died.

gunnar samuelsson who wrote the dissertation has studied the original texts and sees no explicit references to crucifiction.

AgentSmith

This agian? After 15 pages, which this will surely go to, I will still feel the same.

The Borg lied to prop up the 'pole' stake' baloney. It really does not matter how he died. He did, and it was cruel and in keeping with how the Romans killed people at the turn of the century. The Jews did not put him on it, the Romans did.

And the popular choice was a cross. A pole with a removable cross bar that the victim had to carry himself, or a tree that grew in a T shape.

Medical discussions around this concluded, a man that was beaten, whipped, exhausted would not have lasted 3 hours with his hands above his head.

A healthy person cannot do that. Do the research....

AS

24

If your AVATAR could speak then???

by hamsterbait in

jw
friends

if your avatar could have a voice, (for the days when computers routinely read out posts audibly).

whose voice would you choose?.

a poster here thinks my avatar would speak with the mellifluous sexy "mel gibson baritone".

AgentSmith

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=uW6HbZXI9Y0 (HW at hi best)

Hugo Weaving will do a spectacular Job. And my avatar will say, "Nice to meet you. Now, hand me that umbrella!"

11

How many generations have there been since the time of Jesus?

by pseudoxristos in

jw
friends

with the new definition of a "generation", i wonder how jws would answer this question.

.

pseudo.

AgentSmith

If that's the case, the Jw's can be saying the same things in 2110 for goodness sake!

34

What difference does it make if we are born in?

by wanderlustguy in

jw
friends

born in, what difference does it make?.

i was thinking about this one a lot over the last few weeks.

what difference does it make whether you were born into a cult or were brought in as a teen or adult?

AgentSmith

I consider myself 'born-in' Was about 2 when my parents parents committed to the BORG.

I identify with what you said. The 'first' birthday party, Christmas decorations, that feeling of guilty pleasure. I was 40 years old when I had my first birthday cake! I had that feeling of 'what if my old man walked in now?'

But I shook that off, and looked at my friends that assembled to share my b-day with me. I lost my JW family, but I gained a much bigger family, a more honest family, as they loved me for who I am. And I did not have to conform to some man made rules to be acceptable.

Every Christmas I have a small twinge when the decorations go up at my house. Will I get rid of it completel? I hope so.

Thank you.

AS

10

World cup matches over breakfast

by Simon in

it just doesn't seem right ... all the matches are going to be on early in the morning here.. i guess it's breakfast with footy instead of a beer for this world cup!.

although i cheered for canada in the winter olympics i think i'm going to revert to being an english fan for the next few weeks (well, at least until we get knocked out ...).. secretly, i'll be cheering for brazil as they are usually the best to watch but most world cups have some great matches (except that germany v austria one, lol).

AgentSmith

LOL @ keyser!

Don't discount them, the fire side chats here indicate that the USA team is the dark horse. They may just suprise everyone.

We hope the SA team will suprise us and at least get to the quarter finals. The atmosphere here in Cape Town is amazing! World cup opening is tomorrow, but the festivities have started already.

49

Ray Franz Tribute

by besty in

jw
friends

over at freeminds we didn't want this day to pass without some recognition of the life and death of ray franz.

in view of his stated wishes not to have a memorial or service we hoped for something that he would have liked for all of us to take a moment over.. .

we owe a note of thanks to v for his graphics work and atjeff for the obituary writing - i know neither of them need mentioned by me.. .

AgentSmith

Thank you for that. I shared it on my Facebook profile. Ray helped me to understand how so many are duped, and he cleared up so many things.

He was a great man, and I would have loved to have met him. He was a father figure of note! (As my own JW elder, father dissapointed me) I will always be grateful for his courage to stand for his convictions, and his conscience.

Rest in peace Ray, you are a legend!

Agent Smith