Sorry my thingie was acting up.
What I meant to say was... Those of us who stay one foot in always end up depressed. You would be living a double life. I have never seen a non-awkward, non-depressed, half in half out witness.
That's why I went out with a bang. I understand you can't handle making people sad, but you will get over that part and feel much better about yourself for having grown a pair of ovaries and just stand up for what you believe in (I mean what you don't believe in)...
Also, I don't know why you care to change public opinion on them (does the public even really have an opinion??). If the public sees them as a bunch of anti-social cultists...good. Because that's what they are. Yes my entire family is in it and we are on good terms, but it is their choice to stay in so they reap whatever they sow.
I don't know if I misunderstood your post, but from what I gather, you want to lie to your JW friends/family about being one when you're not, and you want to lie to the public to try to make JWs seem cool and laid back, and you want to lie to yourself by not accepting what you need to do.