So sorry to hear this, Rich. It is too bad your mom is so brainwashed. I feel sympathy for your stepfather, too. Your mom has no idea how uncaring toward her husband it is to spend all this time in field circus instead of spending time with him. Of course, the borg teaches them to be uncaring.
Hang in there. And tell Toni life is too short to worry about other people's issues. Even if your mom blames her in some way, you both know the truth. And you had left before you and Toni got together.