bernadette

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Posts by bernadette

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  50

  Loosing Moms We Never Had

  by Sparkplug in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  when my mom first came to live with me, i begrudged it.

  i was angry.

  i left home at age 14 and that was fine by me.

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  bernadette

  It is a very big thing your brother is doing and that is what he is compelled to do. Nothing but the very most is what he feels will satisfy him and so he must do it. See?

  Sparky thanks for that insight.

  In thinking about your situation and my situation, I have to say that I have always resented that my mum has taken over my brother's life - am very very close to my brother - and i hate that she is so dependent. But at the same time I can see he wouldn't have it any other way. So i have to let things be.

  thats life i suppose

  keep strong and courageous

  love

  bernadette
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  46

  Congratulations to the newly weds!

  by Crumpet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  please join me in toasting our two friends, dedpoet and fullofdoubtnow who have just exchanged vows.

  linda and trevor - we love you so much and know that your happiness will join you together for so many years to come.. congratulations!.

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  bernadette

  congratulations Linda and Trevor
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  50

  Loosing Moms We Never Had

  by Sparkplug in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  when my mom first came to live with me, i begrudged it.

  i was angry.

  i left home at age 14 and that was fine by me.

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  bernadette

  (((((((((sparky)))))))

  I'm really sorry about the distress you are experiencing.

  My mum is very ill and dependent too at the moment. My brother has given up his job to look after her and is living on his savings. He does everything for her. I visit twice a week for emotional support for him. Like your brother he won't consider letting her go into a care home but unlike your brother insists on doing everything himself - he actively excludes all of us from hands on care. But he is becoming ill himself. I wish I could get through to him but have to accept what he wants - for now anyway.

  Please don't allow yourself to go under - there is a point where one can lose track of what's really important in the long run and then everybody loses.

  love

  bernadette
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  69

  CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR EMOTIONS accurately???

  by Terry in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  many people don't know why they "feel" what they feel.

  they fall in love with the wrong person.

  they cry unexpectedly.

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  bernadette

  I'm cautiously finding it helpful to aim to balance my emotions. It seems to me that life in the wts and damaging upbringing unbalances us emotionally and then that has an impact on how we percieve and live life.

  A marvellous tool for me is to take unavoidable destabilizing emotions into myself and watch it dilute itself in a huge sea of peaceful water.

  Trying to push the emotion away or forget about it doesn't work for me becuase it always comes back when I least expect with damaging destructive outcomes. Mu emotions are so huge otherwise and they terrify me.
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  27

  Trevor: Meditation

  by onacruse in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in one type of meditation the mind is able to be fully conscious without he intrusion of words, which lead to thoughts,.

  trevor, i'm not trying to get on your ass here, but, please.... thoughts without words?

  that is a fundamental epistemological impossibility...rather like farting without emitting gas.. or, perhaps, we're talking about a purely personal "mystical" experience, which cannot be put into (and did not spring from, nor finds any possible formulation within) words?

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  bernadette

  Glad you raised the topic onacruse - cos it seems to me that 'meditation' can take many forms when described in words but in experience it not like that - but it seems there are stages. But even the simplest most straightforward form it is beneficial.
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  27

  Trevor: Meditation

  by onacruse in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in one type of meditation the mind is able to be fully conscious without he intrusion of words, which lead to thoughts,.

  trevor, i'm not trying to get on your ass here, but, please.... thoughts without words?

  that is a fundamental epistemological impossibility...rather like farting without emitting gas.. or, perhaps, we're talking about a purely personal "mystical" experience, which cannot be put into (and did not spring from, nor finds any possible formulation within) words?

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  bernadette

  Trevor

  What I am describing is not a mystical experience and has nothing to do with spirituality, belief or prayer. It is simply the understanding that being asleep or awake and thinking are not the only two gears the mind has.

  There are other of states of mind. Hypnosis shows how easily the thinking mind can be altered by digging a little below the surface. Thinking is a most important tool but it can also cause neurosis and other anxiety problems when a person has not learned to control the intensity of the thought process.

  I can identify with the above - its simple straightforward and works.

  As a dub I stumbled across what you have described via Alexander Technique. It taught me to adopt a neutral frame of mind of non -doing and non thinking. This state was acceptable to me as a witness and very helpful to go into for about 15-20 minutes a day. For me it was more calming than prayer - I'd feel stable and happy once again. Able to face the world. I still use it - it has become a part of my life.
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  14

  Our Wedding Music

  by fullofdoubtnow in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i never thought it would happen for me, but tomorrow is my wedding day, and we've put together a cd of music .

  we both love, and which has meaning for us, to be played at the wedding and reception.

  i've been searching youtube.

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  bernadette

  Lovely music Linda - that last song was very moving.

  Hope you have a beautiful day.

  bernadette
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  25

  The Watchtower—Logically Wrong But Emotionally Right?

  by The wanderer in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  <!-- .style1 { font-family: verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 12px; } .style4 { font-size: 18px; font-family: arial; color: #330099; } .style5 { font-size: 16px; font-family: arial; color: #330099; } --> the watchtowerlogically wrong but emotionally right?months of battles between my best friend and i have fallen to the wayside .

  and we can now calmly talk about the watchtower society without an ex-.

  plosive confrontation.

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  bernadette

  Maybe reason on the fact that the wts is emotionally damaging - for instance

  guilt

  fear

  anxiety over not being able to keep up

  boredom over all the repitition

  cognitive dissonance

  I think there are more but can't think of any at the moment.

  bernadette
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  28

  Were you a loud singer?

  by HockeyMullet in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i don't know why, but i was just thinking of this guy in my hall that sang so loud that it was embarassing to just be there.

  he sounded like the love child of kermit the frog and miss piggy.

  i remember trying to mimick his voice during one song and getting counseled by one of the bros because i had a few of younger guys laughing.

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  bernadette

  Always mimed cos I can't sing. It bcame such a joke in our family. . My husband used to sing loudly to cover for me. Bless
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  20

  As An Atheist: Finding Real Spirituality After JWs

  by Seeker4 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i've written on here several times about how the witnesses have a really shallow spirituality.

  remember how there were spiritual activities, "sacred service" as it was often called - bible study, prayer, meetings and field service - and everything else was considered not a spiritual activity, not sacred service?

  they toyed with expanding the 'sacred service' definition for a short time.

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  bernadette

  s4

  consciousness is a good word for spirituality too imo

  Humane purposefulness, another