Posts by nonamegiven

24

A Major Dream Has Been Fulfilled!!!!!

by XJW4EVR in

jw
friends

it has always been a dream of mine to transfer to, and graduate from the university of southern california.

last year i applied, and about two weeks ago i was accepted.

that was cool, but i had no way of paying for it, and the financial aid i applied for would not cover enough of the tuition, and other fees.

nonamegiven

don't you know that the bible says higher education is wrong? Surely you understand that you will not survive The Great Day of Jehovah when it comes tomorrow, right?

Congrats man, I hope this dream being fulfilled makes many more come true.

13

I'm back (sort of)

by nonamegiven in

well, its good to be back, sorta back that is.

i wont go into my story or why im here.

if you dont know, you can read my past posts.

nonamegiven

Mouthy and onthewayout, you both know I respect you so I take everything you said with genuine appreciation.

I think I would agree with wayout that one should view porn to keep out of other women's pants had I never had this addiction. See, it all started as a very youg lad with the Sears ads that came with the Sunday paper. We're talking swimsuits and underwear here. Just like any addiction, it moved on and up (or down?). Today's fix won't be enough tomorrow. Tomorrow's fix won't be enough for next week. What I SHOULD have done is been striaght with my wife when we were dating, got help then and moved on with my life but I didn't. Now we have to live with what my addiction has brought.

I would never leave mywife and kids, I love them too deeply. My wife is sincerely trying to work her way through this. I have talked to her about my religious issues and she says that she will not leave me for that. If she can work her way through what I've done we should be ok. The fact that she is willing to even try is more than I could ask of her and is a gift from her. She has read most or all my my posts here so she knows where I am. She even asked me what would be my decision (about the "truth) if I had to make one today. I thought about it and told her I would not be a JW if I had to make that decision now.

13

I'm back (sort of)

by nonamegiven in

well, its good to be back, sorta back that is.

i wont go into my story or why im here.

if you dont know, you can read my past posts.

nonamegiven

Mouthy and onthewayout, you both know I respect you so I take everything you said with genuine appreciation.

I think I would agree with wayout that one should view porn to keep out of other women's pants had I never had this addiction. See, it all started as a very youg lad with the Sears ads that came with the Sunday paper. We're talking swimsuits and underwear here. Just like any addiction, it moved on and up (or down?). Today's fix won't be enough tomorrow. Tomorrow's fix won't be enough for next week. What I SHOULD have done is been striaght with my wife when we were dating, got help then and moved on with my life but I didn't. Now we have to live with what my addiction has brought.

I would never leave mywife and kids, I love them too deeply. My wife is sincerely trying to work her way through this. I have talked to her about my religious issues and she says that she will not leave me for that. If she can work her way through what I've done we should be ok. The fact that she is willing to even try is more than I could ask of her and is a gift from her. She has read most or all my my posts here so she knows where I am. She even asked me what would be my decision (about the "truth) if I had to make one today. I thought about it and told her I would not be a JW if I had to make that decision now.

13

I'm back (sort of)

by nonamegiven in

well, its good to be back, sorta back that is.

i wont go into my story or why im here.

if you dont know, you can read my past posts.

nonamegiven

Onthewayout said:

"She can't be scripturally free if you have been faithful."

Hah! That's what you think. The elders have told her that despite the fact that she did know of one act of adultry and fogave me since there was more than one (but none since she found out about the one) she has grounds again for a "scriptural" divorce. Funny, you can't find any of that in the bible but I digress......

To clarify for some, my addiction is a sexual one and I have been unfaithful to my wife. I told her about one and she forgave me. I told her about the rest about 9 months later. In that 9 month time frame I was faithful and working hard on my program to handle my addiction. Well, she now has the right to divorce me. They have also told her that she has a "reasonable amount of time" to make the decision. What is this reasonable about of time? 1 year, Yes folks 365 days I could be living in this camper. Do you know how humiliating it is to drive to work in a camper, drive to the hall in a camper, have everyone you work with and everyone at the hall know you live in a old camper?

Ok, I'm going to stop now, I'm just getting worked up.

13

I'm back (sort of)

by nonamegiven in

well, its good to be back, sorta back that is.

i wont go into my story or why im here.

if you dont know, you can read my past posts.

nonamegiven

Well, it’s good to be back, sorta back that is. I won’t go into my story or why I’m here. If you don’t know, you can read my past posts. Here’s an update though:

A month or so ago my wife discovered this site and got my username and password. She then read my posts and was shocked and angry. My posts were filled with much hurt and anger and it showed. When she confronted me about this site I thought she had found a secret I actually was hiding. A secret about my addiction (again, some info in past posts). I spilled my guts about my deepest, darkest secrets. So, she was expecting me to divulge info about something she pretty much knew already (my doubts about the “truth”) but I come out of left field with stuff she had no idea about.

A few days later she asked me to leave the house. Not to end our marriage at this time, but she said if she were to take me back it would take time and space to work things out. Since I did wrong, I didn’t have a problem leaving (well, ok I did, but who wouldn’t?) so I sold my beloved Jeep and picked up a used (Anyone seen Sanford and Son?) motor home and have been living out of that for more than a month now. After about a week of my living in it she said she wanted a divorce. My hart sank deep, deep in my chest. She told me she didn’t even have any interest in working things out at that time. Not only did she want a divorce but she didn’t even care enough to work things out. I was disgusting to her. I didn’t do so well emotionally but I did manage to keep control of my addiction and am still to this day “sober”. Anyway, she did agree to try counseling and it does seem to be working some, but slowly for sure.

We have had many talks about df’ing and it’s going to be a point of contention for years to come I’m sure. I still go to the meetings. The reason at this time is because I’ve decided that at this time I can’t tackle keeping my family together, getting a hold on my addiction AND figuring out where I am spiritually. That’s just too much for one feeble minded guy. So, I’m still going after being DF’d for 8 months and still feeling the “love” of the congregation. What kills me most is that the bros and sis’ at the congregation are there for my wife but not for me at all. I see them inviting her out after the meetings, dropping by, calling her, meeting with her after the meetings and so on. I’m glad for that because she does need encouragement but that last I checked, so do I!! That’s been the one constant thing pushing me away. It’s the total lack of love I feel from these people.

Anyway, I won’t be coming here much because like I said, I need to take a step back in my spiritual inquest but I did want to update those here that knew me before and showed me the kind of love my “brothers and sisters” refuse to show.

Thank you all and I will be in touch.

8

Funny Memories at the KH!

by whyamihere in

jw
friends

i really went out with a bang........lol.

it was a thursday night meeting and i was extremely bored - planning to escape.

while the second song was playing, i quickly grabbed my things and headed for the door.

nonamegiven

I have two of them and thank god neither one was me!

My friend and I were about 9 years old and were at the hall early playing around and such. Well, there was the microphone on the ground on the long pole and all. So, he picked it up and started singing "I ain't nothin' but a hound dog, crying all the time" at the top of his little lungs. Little did he know the mic was ON!!! Everyone looked around to see what it was and he was just frozen with fear. I still laugh when I think about that.

The second one I've heard before from others so I don't know if it happened more than once or what but I do know that I was there for this as well. This was in later years when we went to cordless mics. Most of us brothers would slip them in our inside suit pocket while the paragraph was being read. Another common practice was waiting for the double paragraphs to be read so we could hussle out to the drinking fountain and get some water or to the bathroom to take a leak. My buddy husstled off to take a leak and had no idea he left the mic on in his pocket. The audience could hear him pissing in the toilet and then flushing! When he came into the auditorium I don't think any eyes were on the stage, they were dying to see who was taking a leak.

5

My reinstatment letter is in

by nonamegiven in

well, sunday after the public talk i turned in my letter to be let back in the club.

i changed it a little bit from what you saw in my post a while back.

i added some info to let them know that i do attend meetings while on the road for work.

nonamegiven

Well, Sunday after the Public Talk I turned in my letter to be let back in the club. I changed it a little bit from what you saw in my post a while back. I added some info to let them know that I do attend meetings while on the road for work. It's been about 8 months or so since I was DF'd so we'll see.

15

JW-isms

by nonamegiven in

there are many words or phrases jw's use daily and especially at the meetings.

we all know pioneer means something different to jw's than to others, same thing for publisher and so on.. i was wondering, what the he!!

i hear that in almost every freaking talk and i want to throw a ypa book every time i hear it.

nonamegiven

Those were some good ones. I thought the comment about the #2 talk was hillarious!

29

Upset & Need to Vent to Compassionate Ears

by FreeGirl2006 in

jw
friends

i am so grateful to have a place where my experiences being treated like one of the walking dead can be understood and empathized with.. i was opening my mail last night and there was a bill from local hospital.

i opened it a bit confused because i have not been in a hospital in 2 years.

it was a detailed bill for my stepson.

nonamegiven

Damn FreeGirl, I hurt for you.

I've not had an experience this bad but I too know what it's like to be treated like less than dog crap because I made a mistake (one that I as well as you are willing to own up to).

Screw 'em.

How old is your son?

15

JW-isms

by nonamegiven in

there are many words or phrases jw's use daily and especially at the meetings.

we all know pioneer means something different to jw's than to others, same thing for publisher and so on.. i was wondering, what the he!!

i hear that in almost every freaking talk and i want to throw a ypa book every time i hear it.

nonamegiven

There are many words or phrases JW's use daily and especially at the meetings. We all know pioneer means something different to JW's than to others, same thing for publisher and so on.

I was wondering, what the he!! does "as it were" mean??? I hear that in almost every freaking talk and I want to throw a YPA book every time I hear it. have you ever heard that ANYWHERE ELSE?!?!?!

Ok, I'm done venting now. Are there any other JW-isms that bug the heck outta you?