Posts by depressed

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

depressed

searching, you nailed it right on the head. That's exactly how I feel...

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

sass_my_frass, yes it is appalling - all he had to do was lie,and he was out of the woodwork. It's quite unbelievable. But he got away with it because his family lives in a different State. He lives independently now, so I'm pretty sure that he's going to lead the "worldly" lifestyle while divorced from me and far from his parents. They may or may not ever find out about my soon to be ex (stbx) husband's cheating. I guess what bothers me really is that the father being a PO never told me how this divorce is scriptural. It's BS as far as I'm concerned. The only thing that he told me was, "You mean to tell me that you've been married for 10 years and you don't know why your divorcing?" From this comment, I guess my stbx husband slandered me. That hurts a ton.

Another comment that he made was, "You can have your local elders contact me, but Im not giving them any information".

So what is that suppose to mean? And why would he make that comment? I thought that we were all supposed to be united, so why would he refuse to give my "local elders" any information? My stbx husband's publisher's card is here, not over there, and we are both in New York. Go figure.

Maverick,

I understand your pain very well. but who's idea was it to get a divorce? I also suffered a nervous breakdown, as I couldn't keep up with the demands of college, the meetings, being a wife, and a very hard full time job where my supervisor was verbally abusive. And this all landed on me after we both left bethel, where things were a lot easier (at least that's my opinion).

Schism,

I think that what's happening to my husband is that he's now living the repressed childhood he never got to have. He lived a very enclosed "kingdom hall" lifestyle, only being allowed to watch tv for only an hour a day. He had to pioneer, and do all sorts of things until he finally left to bethel. He had a lot of restrictions growing up. When he left our house, he bought a motorcycle jacket, and took a jean jacket, cut the sleeves and put it over the leather jacket. Then he got a tattoo and started hanging out in bars with the older 45 year old woman, who promised him a baby. Well, I guess that she made him feel "sexily bad boy desirable" if that makes sense. I guess that he associates me with the goody two shoes pioneer/bethel image - you know, like so not sexy?

Whatever.

Oh, and I haven't read Crisis of Conscience, even though my brother recommended that I read the book.

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

depressed

thanks to everyone for listening!

Maverick, what happened with your wife? Why did you divorce her? Did the organization accept your divorce?

The organization has not accepted the divorce my husband filed for - yet his PO father is financing it and has argued with me that the divorce is 100% scriptural. Go figure. I guess I'll never find out what I did to warrant a scriptural divorce. And my soon to be ex husband's adultery will never go punished. Oh well.

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

depressed

I don't understand what agent 7 is talking about, because no one was disfellowshipped in my case. My in laws are shunning me and they are treating me as a disfellowshipped person, but disfellowshiped I am not. I haven't done anything wrong. My stbx husband was the one who had the affair with the older "worldly" woman, but he's being treated like the golden boy. His lawyer is being financed by his dad who's a PO, and by the rest of his family, who by the way, are in Gilead. Even though he had the affair, they are shunning me because they believe that I am responsible for the break up of my marriage, even though my husband and I have never sat down to discuss that he was unhappy. The truth is that he was NEVER unhappy - I jsut got in the way after he decided to screw some tramp at work, then by being married was he suddenly unhappy. But don't tell that to his parents! Oh no, they believe ALL of their son's lies.

My lying husband is not disfellowshipped either because he lied about his affair. It's as simple as night and day. He lied, and was not disfellowshipped. Instead he slandered me, and now I'm being shunned, although not disfellowshipped. I guess having a disassociated brother and mom made me out to be a scumbag in front of them. Why, who can compete with my husband? His dad is the PO, his mom is pioneering and his sister is in Gilead.

The hell with all of them, I say now at this point. If you have family that's DA or DF, forget it - you are scum too in their eyes. Yes, I have it figured out.

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

depressed

lol, I had "special skills". I had network admin skills, however, I worked in the factory.

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

depressed

I guess that my problem is that since I was a kid, the "truth" has been ingrained in me. I started pioneering at 16, was accepted to bethel at 21 - served there for a good 5 years, until I married a fellow bethelite, then left the organization on my own at the ripe age of 30. I'm now 35, and my husband recently left me and I'm alone.

Nothing really draws me. I have no interest in anything.

Everybody tells me that I'm attractive, etc, but I have no desires to go out and party or go to clubs, nor do I have any desires to date. I certainly don't want to go back to the meetings - as I'm very resented of the way my inlaws are being allowed to treat me, and how they call themselves PO's and pioneers, yet they are financing the divorce - and I don't even know what the reasons are that my soon to be ex husband gave them for doing this. What kills me is that they know that I'm confused, but they think that I'm playing games with them. They do not care how I feel - as long as their son is no longer with me, I guess.

I have a few "worldly" friends, but they are married, or committed, so I usually find myself being alone during the weekends, or evenings. So, I kind of wanted to do something "spriritual" to take my mind out of this torture. But I agree, I do need counseling as my own mother and my "worldly" friends have suggested. I didn't think that I was that bad, but I guess I am.

43

lost

by depressed in

just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.. i've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but i still love jehovah and jesus, and i want to serve them the right way.

does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?.

at the moment, i feel miserable, since i'm going through a divorce.

depressed

Just wondering if anyone else feels the same way.

I've been out of the organization for about 4 years, but I still love Jehovah and Jesus, and I want to serve them the right way. Does anyone here feel a great sense of religious confusion now that you are not attending meetings?

At the moment, I feel miserable, since I'm going through a divorce. My husband, who was a bethelite cheated on me with an older woman from his job. He's lying about it, his family doesn't believe me, and I'm being shunned as if things are my fault and I'm the greatest trouble maker since the snake over at the garden of Eden. I'm still trying to get over this entire divorce ordeal and the events since then. However, meanwhile, I feel very lonely, depressed, can't stop thinking about my injustice, and all I'm left with is an uncertain future.

47

divorce question

by depressed in

my soon to be ex-husband's father is the presiding overseer of the congregation and his entire family is very spiritual - including my husband's sister and her husband who serve in gilead.. to make a long story short, my husband and i used to serve in bethel but eventually left.

we moved around the nyc area where we both took on full time jobs, pursued our four year degrees, and led pretty successful lives.

i left the organization, because i was tired of gossip, etc and half of my family was disfellowshipped.

depressed

While I agree that he created his own mess, his distance from his parents will allow him to do whatever he wants to do. I highly doubt that he would ever want to remarry, however, I can be wrong.

Besides, like a gay friend once told me,

"When I came out to my parents, at that point, I didn't care what they thought - because I was sure about my identity"

And I agree - people who do things in hiding are very insecure people.

47

divorce question

by depressed in

my soon to be ex-husband's father is the presiding overseer of the congregation and his entire family is very spiritual - including my husband's sister and her husband who serve in gilead.. to make a long story short, my husband and i used to serve in bethel but eventually left.

we moved around the nyc area where we both took on full time jobs, pursued our four year degrees, and led pretty successful lives.

i left the organization, because i was tired of gossip, etc and half of my family was disfellowshipped.

depressed

Yeah, they're shunning me alright, and during the worst time of my life.

I once went to a Drug Enforcement Agency museum. They depicted a drug user buying drugs from a local street vendor, who in turn gave his money to a big criminal chief who in turn gave the money to some organized terrorist. There was a sign that read, "Drug buyers are terrorists because they patronize and fund terrorists" or something like that.

I guess it's the same application. If his daddy funded the divorce, he is responsible, in part for the break up of my marriage. That's the way I see it.

47

divorce question

by depressed in

my soon to be ex-husband's father is the presiding overseer of the congregation and his entire family is very spiritual - including my husband's sister and her husband who serve in gilead.. to make a long story short, my husband and i used to serve in bethel but eventually left.

we moved around the nyc area where we both took on full time jobs, pursued our four year degrees, and led pretty successful lives.

i left the organization, because i was tired of gossip, etc and half of my family was disfellowshipped.

depressed

the truth about my husband DID come out.

But his family - especially his father, was SO STUPID that they didn't want to see the circumstantial evidence.

You know, the love text messages, the FACT that he admitted to me that he kissed the bitch in the office, the fact that he borrowed the bitches car to pick me up, lets see what else? The FACT that after I found the love text messages, he then served me with divorce papers a week later? Oh, and lest not forget about the FACT that my lovely husband would spend the night at the bitches house overnight and arrive in the early wee hours of the morning.

Oh, and how about my credit card receipts depicting my buying clothing for him, going to the movies with him, all a week right before I got served with divorce papers???

Oh no, how can anyone possibly miss the circumstantial evidence? Surely I must be the one who's missing something here. God himself forbid if the freakin' elder is wrong.