My soon to be ex-husband's father is the presiding overseer of the congregation and his entire family is very spiritual - including my husband's sister and her husband who serve in Gilead.
To make a long story short, my husband and I used to serve in bethel but eventually left. We moved around the NYC area where we both took on full time jobs, pursued our four year degrees, and led pretty successful lives. I left the organization, because I was tired of gossip, etc and half of my family was disfellowshipped. That is it in a nutshell. However, my husband didn't protest, but just got lazy and stopped attending meetings.
Anyway, one day, though, my husband - who was raised in the organization, had a mid-life crisis, and he started to hang out at bars, get tattoos, etc. I don't know what possessed him but wanted to divorce me as well - after 9 years of marriage. I was stunned. Well, I found out that he started an affair with a new coworker as well - with an older woman who loves to hang out at bars. She's a good 10 years older than we are, divorced, with two kids.
Suddenly, as night and day, my husband filed for divorce. I was served with papers unexpectedly.
His family disowned me, as my husband lied to them that he didn't have an affair, and told them something that I have absolutely no idea what. Whatever it was, it must have been bad because they are financing the divorce. I've had multiple nervous breakdowns since, as I have the slightest idea what my lying husband told them to make them hate me, and most of all, finance the divorce. On top of this, my husband is treating me as if I"m the one who is disfellowshipped, by pretending that I was the bad guy and playin' along as if I was the one who did the bad deed.
This happened in March, and the divorce is still in progress
Just this past Saturday, I don't know what possessed me, but I thought that I would get some closure if I called the inlaws up and just spoke honestly with them and asked them why the divorce if they don't believe in that.
What was that for?? My stbx mother in law, picked up the phone, and was extremely short with me. She passed the phone over to her husband (the presiding overseer), and I started telling him that I feel very bad for the way that things have turned out. He was so short and seemed angry with me on the telephone.
So, I asked him why is it that he's angry with me, when I'm the victim around here and his son left me, not the other way around.
He got so angry - he said that I'm part responsible for what happened and that there are NO victims in my case. He said that he doesn't believe that his son had an affair, and that I can't judge him based on circumstancial evidence. Keep in mind that my "circumstancial evidence" consists of love letters I found from the other woman, and the fact that this other woman emailed me some very nasty emails regarding little personal things in my marriage that I did and did not do after my husband left me. Like how would the other woman know these things??
My in laws up to this day - 8 months later, refuse to accept that my stbx left me at the advice of the other woman. They absolutely refuse to believe it.
When I asked him, "Why else would he have left me?"
He answered in a sinister way, "So you mean to tell me that after 10 years of living together with him, you don't know why you're getting a divorce?"
I told him no, actually I don't - I found the love letters, and then he left, and then I got served with divorce papers... And this is soo true. Not once did my husband sit down with me to tell me that he was unhappy. After I found the love letters, that's when he moved out - a week later. A week after that, he filed for divorce.
They do not believe any of my story, none of it at all.
So okay, my question to you guys is this:
Since it's been years since I've attended the organization, I want to know under what conditions - besides death and adultery, would a presiding overseer shun me, and finance his son's divorce. Keep in mind that the father told me off saying that this divorce is definitely scriptural and that they are not doing anything against God's laws.