Posts by SB

6

Baptized before turning 18

by FreeChick in

hey everybody!.

i've really enjoyed my time here so far and thank everyone.

besides successfully killing far too many threads .

i've thought about confronting some of the adults that pressured me into baptism when i was 14. well, they pressured me before age 14, i finally said yes at that age though (b/c my then best friend also said she wanted to get baptized, on a whim one night at the TMS meeting). so, we approached our P.O. together and arranged to go over "the questions". I studied long and hard ~ i still have my studied book "organized to accomplish our ministry" with my notes in it.

The breaking point for me consenting to baptism was when a pioneer sister invited me out in FS b/c she noticed i hadn't been out in a while. She asked me how long I had been an Unbaptized pubilsher. "since I was 12". "and do you study for all the meetings?"..."not really"...."well, do you think the elders would have let you become an unbaptized publisher if they knew that? probably not". *tears were welling up*. she continued..."and how long do you think the elders expect you to be an unbaptized publisher before you get baptized? isn't the goal to get a little bit of experience in service so you can be qualified for baptism? you've been going out in service for 2 years now, how much longer are you going to wait?" *swallowed tears - felt numb*.

The next meeting i approached the elders w/my friend and asked if we could be baptized at the upcoming ass. (assembly).

3

Strangers in my personal space!

by SB in

has anyone noticed how elders rarely take the time to get to know you, but then they think you should be comfortable sitting in a room w/three of them, revealing all the "dirty" things you did, which makes you in need of repentance and forgiveness?

it's perverted, really.

i've never gone through this, nor will i. these people teach that jesus is the mediator to jehovah, yet they readily take that place when it comes to collecting details.

SB

Has anyone noticed how Elders rarely take the time to get to know you, but then they think you should be comfortable sitting in a room w/three of them, revealing all the "dirty" things you did, which makes you in need of repentance and forgiveness? It's perverted, really. I've never gone through this, nor will I. These people teach that Jesus is the mediator to Jehovah, yet they readily take that place when it comes to collecting details. Does Jesus need a board of secretary's to hand him a briefing, can he not do the research himself?

31

Have you been love bombed or practiced this technique?

by truthsearcher in

what has been your experience with love bombing (that is the practice of showering attention upon newcomers until they are part of the org)?

SB

Robert Lifton's 1961 book Thought Reform and the Psychology of Totalism: A Study of "Brainwashing" in China was a study of coercive techniques that he labelled thought reform or "Brainwashing". Lifton describes in detail eight methods which he says are used to change people's minds without their agreement: NOTICE #2 AND COMPARE TO "LOVE BOMBING".

milieu control (controlled relations with the outer world, this leads among others to lack of relevant information)
mystic manipulation (events are orchestrated to appear miraculous or spontaneous) ORCHESTRATED KINDNESS MEANT TO RECRUIT NEW MEMBERS. IT'S NO FLUKE YOU'RE TREATED KINDLY AT THE MEETINGS. After 15 years being baptized, I was taught to show this false kindness to the point that I didn't notice when it stopped being shown to ME. But as I started drifting, I got the "we have to save you" love bombs. People talk to me as if someone in my family has just died and they are trying to console me. "hi...i was thinking about you and wondering how youre doing....".*forlorn look and tone*. But where were these saviours when all i wanted was real friends? Out in service, greeting new people at the KH, working part time as janitors...the only time they make an effort is for new ones or drifting ones. but the stable ones keeping the numbers in check - they're fine, don't need friendship and support. It gets tiring - I've now been on both sides of the fence.
confession (strong pressure to make a person confess past and present "sins" i.e. acts that do not help the group or the ideology)
self-sanctification through purity (pushing the individual towards a not-attainable perfection)
aura of sacred science (beliefs of the group are sacrosanct and perfect)
loaded language (new meanings to words, encouraging black-white thinking, thought-stoppers )
doctrine over person (ideology and the group are more important than the individual)
dispensed existence (insiders are saved, outsiders are doomed)

121

Mom Died -- and I found out from an old friend!

by BrendaCloutier in

ok, i'm writing this thru tears as i just found out in the last 5 minutes.

my dad died in august, and they had been together just 1 or 2 weeks over 70 years married!

i didn't expect her to last without him, and visa versa.. i just tried to call my sister, and no answer there.

SB

oh my god (or rather lack of)...there is no excuse...no excuse. whatever youre feeling, remember youre a victim of a very abusive group, and this treatment is one of the lasting effects. be proud of yourself for reaching out for emotional support. oh, i'm going to cry for you, i better stop typing...

SB.

24

Is the WBT$ Destroying our Enviroment?

by OUTLAW in

jw
friends

how many trees are cut down so the wbt$ can print literature that most jehovah`s witness`s will never place and most people don`t want?..how many forests are destroyed so the wbt$ can print articles that will be obsolete when the inevitable "new light" arrives?..besides the destruction of lives,is the wbt$ destroying the enviroment?...outlaw

SB

well, paper USED to be made with pot leaves until there were drug laws (so i've been told). it grew fast, and didn't harm the environment. So i think the WBTS should turn the NY Farm into a plantation and produce their own paper. bethelites would be volunteering left and right for garden duty. :)

69

Did you ever think you'd stop being one of Jehovah's Witnesses?

by sandy in

i'm sure this question has been asked before .

i've come a long way in my thinking.

a very long way!

SB

i was just thinking about this yesterday ~ it's weird to be on the way out the door, knowing i'll never look back. before, i lived w/the fear that maybe someday i would be DF'ed, then plead my way back (even though i was "exemplary" until last year). but b/c i'm leaving for intellectual reasons, i'm not self condemning myself and feel free instead of punished. what's weirder to me, is how many things (opinions, beliefs, friendships) that were so solid before, i now question and have to completely re-evaluate....nope, never thought i would be here, but i sure am glad i found intellectual freedom at a young age. :)

SB

21

College...(don't tell the elders)

by SB in

jw
friends

hey all, i'm new to the board, and happy to have found it.

i'm going to college for the first time (i'm 25 yrs old).

does anyone have any advice on how to handle the challenge?

SB

wow am i surprised at the support here! thank everyone for your awesome advice, its been really helpful and i feel really good about college now - it's funny what a little positive reinforcement can do. :) Some of you asked what I am studying - when it's all said and done i will be a nurse. and from what i've gathered so far, studying, taking notes and organizing time is all important?!?!?! good thing i'm really good at highlighting books. :)

21

College...(don't tell the elders)

by SB in

jw
friends

hey all, i'm new to the board, and happy to have found it.

i'm going to college for the first time (i'm 25 yrs old).

does anyone have any advice on how to handle the challenge?

SB

Hey all, i'm new to the board, and happy to have found it. I'm going to college for the first time (i'm 25 yrs old). Does anyone have any advice on how to handle the challenge? I'm scared I'll be shocked by the work load, and I still have a little bit of anxiety around "wordly" people...(hey...that would be me now....). :)

Thanks ~ SB.

19

If you didn't vote yesterday, why not? (I didn't)

by AlmostAtheist in

jw
friends

in the u.s. we had a voting day yesterday that decided more than just any one candidate for any one position, but which ideology (democratic or republican) would hold sway over the government.

if ever there was a time to weigh in, you'd think this woulda been it.. but i didn't.. of course i'm lazy.

of course i'm distracted, and busy, and unsure of where to vote.

SB

my boyfriend asked me why i didn't vote. i almost cried and said "because i've been told its wrong my entire life, it's an issue i havn't addressed yet and don't have any opinions on and i don't know anything about politics or people running for office or what office does what". then he asked if i was registered to vote. I said "no". "what!"...AGAIN, i've always been told if i register to vote i will die. it's not something that comes naturally to me.

How hilarious is that? in a sad sort of way. :) i will vote next time.

p.s. i must be retarded, b/c i don't know how to post a new topic. can anyone tell me?? :)

thanks,

SB

14

Feeling very down right now.

by jakes in

jw
friends

friends!.

today has been one of those days for me.feeling very down and depressed.. finding out that you were living a lie for so long can be devastating to many.

i will however pick myself up again.

SB

Hi Jakes,

I'm brand new to the board, but understand how you feel. Something that helps me is realizing that by coming through the experience of the Watchtower insistant on being mentally healthy and living a productive life, is a strength that is unique to us and no one but ex-JW's can develop the personality strengths that we are now being forced to develop. I think writing a book will be a wonderful outlet for you once it is released, and you are helping so many people. I know the "feeling down" mood you are in, and hopefully it has passed by now.

Best Wishes!

SB