AllTimeJeff

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Posts by AllTimeJeff

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  12

  Can someone explain today's text

  by poopie in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm confused..

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  AllTimeJeff

  If you're confused I am sure it's done its job
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  19

  Conditional Love

  by Saethydd in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i've noticed several posts recently claiming that jw friends and family members give out conditional love.

  well, i'm not so sure that is entirely accurate, in fact, i would say they tend to be very steadfast in their love.

  the issue is this, they have been taught a poor form of love.

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  AllTimeJeff

  JW's as people are generally nice. I have always tried to make a distinction between the leadership and the sheeples.

  So if you're saying that JW's do NOT practice wholesale "conditional love", then I agree.

  However, what the leadership enforces is conditional love, especially through the JC's and disfellowshippings. Many JW families still sneak familial interactions out of sight from the elders. We know this. However, by and large, JW's institutionally advocate and teach conditional love, even if the sheeples don't always follow it.

  I would also add that for all of the broken hearts that are left behind by judicial rulings, the Borg also break the hearts of many "faithful" JW families who choose to stay in. They start to die inside trying to stay loyal to judicial decisions against family members, especially ones involving their own kids. For sure they should be held accountable for their part in supporting this crap, but let's not kid ourselves. They are devastated. And yet, not devastated enough to do the right thing. That's the power of cults for you.
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  55

  Why so few XJWs online?

  by StephaneLaliberte in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  not too long ago, i posted a topic where i pointed out that there are about 1 million xjws alive right now.

  that number only represented the disfellowshipped ones... didn't account for those who had become publishers and left or anyone else who got hurt by that group by proxy.

  so, why are there so few of them online?

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  AllTimeJeff

  Good point Simon. Come to think of it, with the dominance of social platforms, is it possible that forums like this may not be the first choice of an exiting JW who wishes to join a community? Is it trending that way?
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  42

  New here..help greatly appreciated

  by Confusedandangry in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hi everyone i don't even know where to begin.

  i recently saw leah remini's series on scientology thanks to my husband (semi-active jw) and i felt like my eyes were being opened for the 1st time in my adult life.

  i felt shaken almost sick to my stomach with each episode i watched.

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  AllTimeJeff

  Anger is like first gear in a car. It's great to get started, but you have to switch to other gears or you'll burn up on the highway.

  OOPS I hit post before I was ready.

  Get angry, it's ok, it's part of the process. Just don't stay there. :)
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  55

  Why so few XJWs online?

  by StephaneLaliberte in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  not too long ago, i posted a topic where i pointed out that there are about 1 million xjws alive right now.

  that number only represented the disfellowshipped ones... didn't account for those who had become publishers and left or anyone else who got hurt by that group by proxy.

  so, why are there so few of them online?

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  AllTimeJeff

  Just my perspective....

  JW's are more of a fringe group then we probably realize. Sure, it was our entire life, but the JW experience, unique as it is, doesn't in my opinion have the same outside interest as Mormons (Money, greater numbers on the rolls) or Scientology (many celebrity sheeples) inspire, though it's easy for us to see the many similarities in control, activities, etc.

  Someone commented already that 'JWs do not attract thinkers.' Well said. A consequence of all of the "1914 Generation Won't Die" is the apathy bred. It seems that most who have left never cared that much to begin with. Those that do care or were neck deep in it (as I was) come online because we cared and probably continue to show that caring in the posts and conversations we choose to involve ourselves in.

  Let's face it, if you got involved due to mild amusement or just because the JW at your door happened to be more persuasive then average, your investment wasn't very big. So, no big deal to leave, fade/go inactive, whatever works for you. You probably weren't activist minded enough to knock on doors more than a couple of times a month, attend some meetings. Likely, your lifestyle didn't change too much as a result, so, why get online and vent when you didn't care that much to begin with.

  For my part, I've needed breaks. Lately, I am more at peace with my past, which allows me to hang around here with a different perspective to share. It also doesn't affect me like it once did to share my past.
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  42

  New here..help greatly appreciated

  by Confusedandangry in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hi everyone i don't even know where to begin.

  i recently saw leah remini's series on scientology thanks to my husband (semi-active jw) and i felt like my eyes were being opened for the 1st time in my adult life.

  i felt shaken almost sick to my stomach with each episode i watched.

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  AllTimeJeff

  There is one thing I'd like to offer in the way of lessons learned via experience: Beware of information overload. If your eyes are now opened to how JW's are like Scientology (and thus, cultish/cultlike/high control group) then you have some stuff to work through. Be patient with yourself. It is absolutely a process, but one that is well worth it.

  Now that you are open to considering facts, you are going to have reactions to some of the stuff you've learned. I wish you peace and that you don't linger to long in the anger. :)
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  20

  Why do you get upset about family shunning you?

  by mr_doubtful in

  1. watchtower
  2. bible

  i understand people love their family but i also don't understand why you end up caring in the end.

  i'm ready to leave and i 100% don't expecting my family to have any contact with me nor do i want them to contact me.

  if they are going to chose a man made religion over me, that's their choice and i will sleep easy at night.

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  AllTimeJeff

  I think this sounds good on paper, and up to a point, I agree in principle. If the goal is to be mentally healthy, then chasing after anyone, even family, who shuns you or is not healthy for you is a poor decision.

  I miss all my family. They don't talk to me. I miss my friends. I'd be less than human not to acknowledge the void and the scar.

  My commitment to me is simply to be mature and as healthy as I can be. So yes, I do get melancholy. No, I try very hard to not allow their idiotic decisions to affect me in my day to day life. It's pretty much something I've let go of. I am not angry anymore. It just is.

  I think it's a mistake to stay angry with anyone in my opinion. That just means they are influencing your life still, just in ways that you may not be aware of.

  When you think about it, getting angry feeds into the GB narrative of "apostates". Tell them instead that you are going to work to get healthy in all aspects of your life, that you love them, you miss them, and that if they ever want to have a relationship, you'll be here for them. That has more impact IMO then telling them to f*ck off.
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  42

  New here..help greatly appreciated

  by Confusedandangry in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  hi everyone i don't even know where to begin.

  i recently saw leah remini's series on scientology thanks to my husband (semi-active jw) and i felt like my eyes were being opened for the 1st time in my adult life.

  i felt shaken almost sick to my stomach with each episode i watched.

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  AllTimeJeff

  Welcome! You are beginning a very important process in your life. At least now, you can see.

  This forum helped me a ton when I left (and started life over) 10 years ago, and I know you'll find that same support for yourself. In fact, as you go forward, this forum may be off immense help and comfort.

  You are rare. I wish you the best.
  
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  62

  What have been some of the funniest local needs talks that you have heard?

  by DaPriest in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  i remember once in berlin south germany there was a local needs part for the men only, and how they should use the toilet.

  in all seriousness for ten minutes a retarded nigerian was going on about how men need to sit down when using the toilet.

  no mention of anything else.. it transpired that some little kraut boy from an "interested" family would aim for the side of the toilet and leave a great big puddle for others to clean up.

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  AllTimeJeff

  The CO had a Needs of the Circuit and walked out with a large cowboy hat. Like a 10 gallon thing. He said "Sure, there is nothing unscriptural about hats. It's my right to where a hat. But is sure is distracting isn't it."

  Needless to say, the small but growing amount of men in the audience with beards didn't appreciate their facial hair likened to Yosemite Sam's fashion choices.
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  10

  This Is Why We Call It the Borg, And Why You Can Still Find Your Voice

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  one voice can be stronger than a thousand voices.

  your mind is independent now.

  with its own unique identity.

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  AllTimeJeff

  OTWO, I didn't realize that was where BORG started! I genuinely thought it was Star Trek related. Lol.