Posts by AllTimeJeff

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

AllTimeJeff

Actually, my brother and mom have passed. Both were pretty sad situations in their own right. I wouldn't say my dad caused it, he just chose not to educate himself or deal with it, and now must live with those choices.

8

Giving the GB a Windows Version Name

by AllTimeJeff in

jw
friends

i don't know which version of gb we are on.

(also unknown, which "old light" doctrines they changed to conveniently fortify their own position, when i was at gilead in 2005, i called them 2.0 because the last of the old guard was dying off.. for those associated with "ancient" history, windows started to come in their own with 3.0 and 3.1 in the early 1990s.

that is, until windows 95 happened, and the ubiquitous start button was first introduced.

AllTimeJeff

I don't know which version of GB we are on.(Also unknown, which "old light" doctrines they changed to conveniently fortify their own position, When I was at Gilead in 2005, I called them 2.0 because the last of the old guard was dying off.

For those associated with "ancient" history, Windows started to come in their own with 3.0 and 3.1 in the early 1990s. That is, until Windows 95 happened, and the ubiquitous Start button was first introduced. (and the accompanying "Start Me Up" ad campaign with Mick Jagger and the boys)

I think the Governing Body of JW's need a more telling and permanent description of their legacy of absolute failure. Failure as leaders, as prophets, as protectors of their flock, and especially failing to just simply be honest, own it, and tell the truth.

So, how about GB 2014. (or GB14?) You can start me up on that, because that's 100 years since 1914, since millions who saw it will never die. Except they did.

GB 2014, you all have a nice day. Have fun with those pesky, Adventist inspired Gentile Times too.

70

A Message to Active Elders Lurking on JWN

by 00DAD in

there are really only a couple of reasons an active elder would be lurking here on jwn.. .

[if !supportlists]i. your ever growing doubts about the organization have led you here, or.

[if !supportlists]ii.

AllTimeJeff

I started online as an elder still in, but planning my exit. I was in total hell back then. I was also current on the thinking of GB 2.0. Over 10 years later, I am O U T and don't have a freaking clue what they currently believe. Only that their motive most assuredly hasn't, the consolidation of their power.

I feel for any sincere elder who posts here. Thank you for having a door of honesty open in your heart long enough to speak out, even anonymously. Elders are on the ground floor, the front lines. They are truly plumbers and deal with all of the shit.

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

AllTimeJeff

Couple of comments on this very interesting thread...

Shame is something that isn't isolated to the JW experience. Many religions stigmatize behaviors that don't agree with their unique theology. We definitely live in more liberal religious times, so the fact that we can actually talk on an electronic forum about this is cool. But don't take that for granted. History is replete with the masses living in shame, or at least being smart enough to pretend to be ashamed so as to function in their very controlling environment.

Eriksons last psychosocial tier, (ego integrity versus despair) is something I am going through with my Dad. He has once again cut me off, but I know that his is despair. He has lost everything, is all alone, and has sadly reached out to the cult at the end of his days that provide him the only semblance of association. However he chooses to judge himself, he must live the remainder of his days with the sad realization that he lost his youngest son, his wife, (my brother and mother) and has chosen to push me away. I have had to make the very real choice that he is no longer a healthy addition in any small amount to my life. For me to have ego integrity at the end of my life, I have to move on from him. Big, sad lesson. But I am willing to do it. Have to. He's made his bed and must lay in it now.

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

AllTimeJeff

jp1692, thanks.

Ironically, I am a grown up now, mostly. Mature. Embracing me and not really caring if others don't embrace me.

Btw, not caring what others think of you doesn't mean you don't care about them. It just means that total strangers on up to our parents, after a certain point, shouldn't control what YOU think of YOU.

I look at some of my old posts here, and I am glad they helped others. I wanted that. I felt guilty that I was ever an elder and a missionary in this horrible sickness of a cult. I no longer carry that. I was a born in, and at least when I woke up, I left. I didn't linger. I left EVERYTHING and started over. Of that I am proud.

My legacy is to be happy. Because the Governing Body propagates that if you leave, you're a miserable, demon infested maggot, who also drinks boxed wine. (they don't drink boxed wine at Bethel ;) )

On her deathbed, my mom told me to "be happy". Didn't realize that was such a b*tch to figure out. But, I am glad she pointed me in the right direction. Because if all exiting JW's here on this forum can be at peace with whom they are, forgive themselves and the past, and enjoy and appreciate the life they have, we will have truly conquered the legacy of the cult and the sick leaders of it that we have left behind.

19

On leaving JW's and hating religion...

by Jehalapeno in

jw
friends

it's been nearly 4 years now since i completely woke up to the watchtower lies.. thinking back on my jw life, during the time i believed, the organization truly did teach us to hate all beliefs that were contrary to the watchtower's.. i hated "false" religion.. so, when i finally woke up and applied critical thinking to my beliefs, i just went on hating religion in general...only this time i added jw's to that list.. a few months of waking up, i decided to base my beliefs on evidence.

i didn't want to have a set of beliefs unless there was some logic or evidence behind it.

so, now i consider myself an atheist.. and i kept on hating religion.. within the last six months or so, something has changed.

AllTimeJeff

We live in a unique time in history. Not sure what technology, video and the information age in general will do for religion as it has been. There is no doubt that with few exceptions, organized religion has been used as a control tool for the masses, usually politically.

Whomever Jesus might have been, the greatest rule after loving "god" is to love your neighbor as yourself. I can run with that. I won't go to church to tell me who my neighbor is (Jesus had a comment or two on that...) but if everyone can be viewed as our neighbor, and we love them, be a Christian then. These are the greatest two commandments, right? ;)

23

How do you feel you have progressed ?

by stuckinarut2 in

in the months or years since leaving the organization, how do you think you have progressed as a person?.

(or if you have regressed too i guess?).

what aspects of personal development are you happy with?.

AllTimeJeff

I have learned that the answer isn't in printed form.

I have turned into a voracious reader of self improvement books. Most of them involve well researched psychology, which is very healthy, and has helped a lot. However, I realized that I was trying to "do the system" in these books in the same way I looked for all of lifes answers in the WT magazine during my culty hay day. I have learned that if I am to take my place among the real living, I have to accept responsibility for me, and my own thoughts. And that I am allowed (if you will follow my meaning) to "write" my own book. The answers are truly within me. Will I do that? Will I embrace who I am, shame free? (cue dramatic music.... :)

I have only me to offer. I am only me, and it never was anything other. It is sort of like the metaphor of the elephant tied up at the circus while young. all that is needed to keep the adult under control is the same bolt around it's ankle. Doesn't have to be posted or ground. It's just the memory of previous captivity that the elephant must overcome. And so must we...

That's where I am over 10 years later...

56

Spiritual "Protection" - a Menace on Psychological Development

by Wake Me Up Before You Jo-Ho in

not quite a week ago, @lost in the fog created a thread entitled: do you have this illness?.

https://www.jehovahs-witness.com/topic/5187824140681216/do-you-have-this-illness.

in my year of being on this forum, i have browsed many a disillusioned thread of ex-jehovah’s witnesses expressing similar symptoms of post traumatic stress disorder when detailing their awakening - my own story included.

AllTimeJeff

Read this earlier today and have been chewing on it a lot.... The following is just random stream of consciousness stuff...

I came on this forum when I left in 2006. Posted a bunch of stuff and opinions, most of which I still have, some thoughts and opinions have evolved. It is necessary. Of all the things that have turned the internet into a cess pool these days, the fact I had two forums (this was one of them) to just say shit and work stuff out was huge. I have a mind of my own in large part because I could express it for the first time here.

I posted once on how they took away our first names. You know, that pesky thing that was replaced by "brother" or "sister". You could literally spend an entire weekend at a CA/DC and just call everyone "brother/sister". Then get that same damn thing back. Each time, chipping away at what is you.

It matters to me more in some respects then it did just because I am now capable of owning me, if I care to. If my JW experience didn't give me such superpower skills as hiding who I really am, getting people to think I am something I am not, being able to parry, duck, dodge, and dive out of the way of the shadow of my own potential legacy.

It's a sad fact that this world IS predatory if you come from certain places. It can be a great place if you come from different places. I was a born in JW, so owning Apple wasn't in the cards for me. However, I refused to give into anger at first. Didn't want to do the self destructive thing. But I learned I had to feel and express the anger, grief and loss. I had to learn to not be ashamed of where I came from. And sometimes, I still am.

Let me repeat that last part on shame, because it IS important if you are reading this: Shame is a HUGE tool, a control tool, of the Governing Body. Ashamed of your thoughts and opinions. Ashamed you had an original thought at all. Ashamed that you have a dream, a talent you know you can express and give. Ashamed of your sexuality. Ashamed that you disagree. Yeah, shame. Take a breath, and dig in on that. You'll need to deal with it.

I had my post traumatic moment when my grandfather died a few years ago, an elder for over 50 years. I hadn't been in a KH since I sent in my resignation letter. And I sat in the front row, after being ignored by my "in" family. And the funeral talk started. And then I couldn't breathe. Couldn't even move. No moisture in my mouth. I felt paralyzed by fear. ME. Who had worked so hard for them to have no claim over me. And boy, did they f*cking have it. For 10 minutes I sat there. Stuck in a bad science fiction stun ray, unable to move. Finally, I got enough composure, started to breathe, and walked out before they sang a damn "song".

I think this post is important because the world is tough, and you have to fight through. And you need people most of the time. Somehow. And it isn't a guarantee that you'll find someone when you leave. Ironically, you'll need "faith" that someone, or something, will help you along.

Not everyone has the same resources, but get help. And if you are having issues, and the answer from some on this forum seems to be an overly simplistic "get professional help", get it. I wish I had the reserves to help more. I do enough for me. I hope to heal enough one day to help more people here or somewhere if I Can.

By the way, great post.This one rocks.

58

BOE-2018-04-16--Beards and Special Privileges!

by Atlantis in

jw
friends

2018-04-16-boebeards and special privilegeshttps://we.tl/qoxbkltp4latlantis!.

AllTimeJeff

A couple of comments...

On Beards: The GB is all about control. It is embedded in their own personal culture. They are old white men. Beards are part of the hipster movement. That is worldly in their view. As an aside, the GB gets to ultimately decide what is worldly. I agree with those who think this could be a breaking point for some. I sure hope it does....

As far as the BOE letters, I believe based on my experience that the GB hasn't changed too much on how they compose letters and what to say. The GB doesn't handle these anymore, they have long ago delegated this to their helpers in the Service Department. Only really knotty questions that haven't been brought up before get referred all the way up to the GB.

it is a simple thing for the Service Dept at each branch to basically copy and paste answers. These are basically policy questions, requiring a policy answer from the GB point of view. Thus, the sameness of the answers and repetition of phrases. These guys are truly the Sadducees and Pharisees that the GB so long raged against. So legalistic, so much like what Jesus condemned in Matt 23. (for those that believe all of that...)

Lastly, remember folks, this is a cult. Don't look for logic or compassion. They don't exist. Should having a beard matter? Of course not. Do you think the GB gives a damn? Not even a little...

28

THEY act like the ones who are hurt??!!

by stuckinarut2 in

it really amazes me when jws act like we are hurting them!.

many of us have found that if we stop associating with them for valid reasons, they act all upset and hurt that we would be "so cruel as to limit our association or cut them off".

i know of friends here on the forum who have been told by parents that they "will shun them if they leave jehovah" , and yet when the shoe is on the other foot and our awake friends shun them first, the parents cry and bemoan the situation and say how "cruel it is to deprive them of their company".

AllTimeJeff

It's a cult. We aren't the first, we won't be the last. It's human nature that fringe groups will attract fringe people, to catch, condition, and release us like fish.

I was a born in, so it wasn't my choice to be here, but it was my choice to leave. They took everything I had before though. And yeah, I probably "hurt" them. And to that, I offer a hearty "F**k that S**t" Since I lost my entire family, I know the real truth. They took them from me.

It doesn't matter how they frame it, we know TTATT. That will have to be good enough.

Threads like this make me sad for us all, but I refuse to lay down and die. I don't want anyone who is reading this to give into the bullshit. I love lyrics, always have. (not JW bullshit songs, real stuff). I always liked Billy Joel simply because he fought. So I leave you with "It's All About Soul" Work with the meaning and understand that WE can set our own rules. Have some heart.

This life isn't fair
It's gonna get dark, it's gonna get cold
You've got to be tough, but that ain't enough
It's all about soul

There are people who have lost every trace of human kindness
There are many who have fallen, there are some who still survive