Hello all,
After lurking here for several months, this was the thread that made me decide to register and make my first post. Forgive me for being long winded....
Having been raised a JW from the age of 5 I think I can honestly say the cruelty factor of that "religion" is probably the single biggest factor in defining my life. My childhood memories are dark and incredibly depressing...my mother was always unstable (she's recently been diagnosed paranoid scizophrenic) and would fly off the handle for no apparent reason, and as a JW kid of course EVERYTHING is a sin so there were plenty of reasons for her to take her temper out on me. And of course she would be commended for her actions by the elders etc. for not sparing the rod.
I spent my WHOLE 13th year punished for lying about a grade on a report card. My punishment? I had to go to my room immediately after school every day, and in summers spend the entire day there except to attend meetings and preach. I was not allowed to interact with my family at all. I was allowed only WTS publications to read. I was completely isolated like that for an entire year, only allowed to see my family to get a beating for some arbitrary infraction or other. During this time elders, people from the congregation etc. would be invited over and of course would inquire as to my whereabouts. And without shame, as if it were perfectly normal my parents would tell them exactly where I was and why. Not ONE of these supposedly "loving" elders or "brothers" ever said a word about this obvious abuse. It was fine with them, so of course this reinforced my parent's ideas about discipline. What kind of place would condone treating a 13 year old kid like that?
And that is just ONE YEAR out of my life, a childhood marked by getting whipped with fists, wooden spoons and belts, getting thrown down stairs, being grounded for months and even years at a time...and nobody from the KH ever tried to help or interfere on any level. In fact, I was considered a bad seed and not allowed to associate with any of the other JW kids at the hall after my father realized he no longer believed in the WTS' bullsh*t and stepped down from his post as an MS. The beatings of course continued, but when deliverd by my dad they just weren't in the name of Jehovah anymore. And whenever an elder would pull me aside to ask about the bruises on my arrms or back of my neck it was never to ask or intervene about abuse inflicted by my mother and father, it was to inquire what I'd done wrong to deserve the beating. It was, of course, always my fault.
I guess my point is, it was obvious to the elders etc. what was going on with me as a kid but nobody did anything about it, in fact it was actively encouraged so as to make me a better little servant of God.
For acceptance and because it was expected of me, I was baptised at the age of 17. I drifted away at the age of 19 and became the person I was always raised to truly be-an enraged alcoholic with absolutely no social skills, life skills or friends to speak of. Why was everyone so surprised at the way I and others raised like me grew up to have so many problems? Mine is not an isolated story-You would think that a group of men that were supposed to be the earthly mouthpiece of GOD himself could figure out that the system of abuse, cover ups and general stunting of the childhood/youth experience they continue to foster DOES NOT WORK and in fact drives the young away from this so called "religion" in droves. My brother in law is an elder, and when he tried to save me one last time about 6 years ago, responded to my tales of abuse by saying that my sister told him I was an extremely bad kid growing up...in other words, I had an elder standing in my driveway-a grown man with 2 kids of his own and a postion of power in the congrgation-telling me it was my fault .I feel sorry for my nephews.
After a lot of work on myself,11 years of sobriety and learning to trust people I have made true friends, have a successful career as an illustrator,artist ,and musician and can look back on the whole thing with some detachment.
The WTS is indeed cruel to children and I want absolutely no part of it.
Sorry for the long post but this is a topic that I cannot keep quiet about. This board has helped me a lot lately in realizing there are many others with the same experiences. I feel like one of the lucky ones to have gotten out when I did.
