J-ex-W

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Posts by J-ex-W

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  5

  bubble wrap pop

  by BlackSwan of Memphis in

  1. social
  2. humour

  http://www.virtual-bubblewrap.com/popnow.shtml.

  haha, this is an interesting way to work out that net rage, lol.. what do you think?.

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  J-ex-W

  LOL!!! It's every bit as fun as the real thing!!!
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  49

  What is marital rape?

  by Lady Lee in

  1. social
  2. family

  i had never heard of this term until i was divorced for many years.

  the term "marital rape" confused me as i am sure it confused others.. but i knew what it was.

  i knew how it felt.

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  J-ex-W

  See, frankie, and it's good to know that about yourself. People need to hook up with other people who are compatible with their sexual tastes/ goals as well as other aspects of living to be truly happy. But to me, sex that is playful is about the best 'recreation' there is. I could never get into the domination/ subjugation either--well, to a mild degree, but because of the stuff I've been through (having had control over my own body taken away from me in the worst way), I don't know if I could ever be the submissive one in that kind of play. I know I would never push boundaries to humiliation/ cruelty on another person, but since that has been done to me (and not in the spirit of play), I couldn't lay back and trust...to the degree that some can.

  But I can still play with the best of 'em when I feel no threat to my autonomy/ authority over my own body. This may be what your former girlfriends were expressing. They felt safe with you, and so could enter a realm of play they might not with someone else.
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  15

  How does one prepare for a meeting?

  by UpAndAtom in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  how does a typical jw that has been in the organization many years prepare for a typical sunday meeting?

  what happens if they don't?

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  J-ex-W

  Oh, yes, and I would start physically preparing myself and the kids and bookbags and diaperbags and any other pertinent materials three hours ahead of the time we needed to leave. So even though they claim it's only about 5 hours out of your life to attend all weekly meetings, this doesn't take into consideration the hours spent studying and physically prepping and travelling--and recuperating, since it took a physical toll to keep up with this and LIFE as well!
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  15

  How does one prepare for a meeting?

  by UpAndAtom in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  how does a typical jw that has been in the organization many years prepare for a typical sunday meeting?

  what happens if they don't?

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  J-ex-W

  I treated it like I would any college course. I read every paragraph, every scripture reference (sometimes comparing multiple Bible translations), and hightlighted key points in different colors--so they would stand out in my attention when I was brain dead at the meeting but still wanted to comment. I sometimes wrote related scriptures or related ideas on the page to share and incorporate into my comments.

  One of my best 'tricks' for studying was to let my study with my young kids be MY study. Doing it out loud and having to actively take the language of the paragraphs and put it into simpler terms young kids could relate to and understand actually helped sink the information further down into my heart/ brain. [Yes--I was the one who studied with my boys, not my ex-husband whose responsibility it supposedly was.]

  Yep. I applied myself to meeting preparation every bit as dillegently as if my livelihood depended on it. [According to them, my and my kids' spiritual livelihood did!]
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  49

  What is marital rape?

  by Lady Lee in

  1. social
  2. family

  i had never heard of this term until i was divorced for many years.

  the term "marital rape" confused me as i am sure it confused others.. but i knew what it was.

  i knew how it felt.

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  J-ex-W

  i confess i didn't read the whole post to realise the topic was just aimed at women! oops, my bad

  dh---------- Of course this thread is NOT just for women, though I can see why you'd get that thought. In fact, we need men to pay attention and get educated about these things in order for effective change to occur. And rape--marital rape included--CAN be female on male (or male on male); it's just more rare. So MEN, please, pay attention to these threads, too!!
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  48

  My Aunt Tells My Mom I NEED To Get Back In Before It's Too Late!

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  she told her yesterday that i must take advantage of armageddon not being here before it's too late.

  i guess she must be worried, huh?.

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  J-ex-W

  Minimus you thinking of Gumborging then?

  So...did a 'term' ever get settled on then?
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  49

  What is marital rape?

  by Lady Lee in

  1. social
  2. family

  i had never heard of this term until i was divorced for many years.

  the term "marital rape" confused me as i am sure it confused others.. but i knew what it was.

  i knew how it felt.

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  J-ex-W

  While married I never had sex unless my wife wanted to. But then latter I had a couple of different GFs that I was living with that made it plan to me that they would like it if I was a little more aggressive in sex, they wanted me to have sex with them sometimes while they were sleeping, or to almost go to the ponit of forcing myself on them if they refused. When I told them I couldn't do it, and that any unwillingness on thier part would turn off my desire they actually got a little pissed at me, for not being passionate enough. To me sex with an unwilling parner be it due to a head ache or being tired is a complete turn off. Maybe if I was younger like in my 20s I could have fullfilled thier wishes, but after I hit my 40s, it takes a little more to get me going.

  I want to say, for the benefit of other less experienced or confused readers, that a key point of what frankie is describing here (the feedback from certain women) is that these women were REQUESTING more persistence. They are outright giving consent to relations. These women, requesting, feel free and clear to say what they want--and what they don't want--in relations with their man, and have every confidence/ expectation that their wishes will be respected (for both yes and no responses). Not so for the victim of marital or acquaintance rape. Rape (or harrassment or molestation) is what happens when it's AGAINST the other person's will. Victims of rape aren't given option/ authority to exercise their will (often, for either yes or no). In fact, I've heard time and again that the rapist husband/ boyfriend would do it only when he wanted it, not when she wanted it--exerting double control over their sex life. frankiespeakin----------Good attitude on your part. Next time...if you know it's a consenting request...recognition of that fact might be enough to 'get you going' and help you persist--knowing that she's told you outright that it's something she wants. And we all know how to be playfully persistent about some things from time to time. It sounds like perhaps playful persistence gets them going. The playful spirit and respect of yes and no is what must be emphasized here and always.
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  10

  Age difference

  by troucul in

  1. social
  2. relationships

  what is the largest socially acceptable age difference in relationships?

  does it depend on the age of the youngest?

  oldest?

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  J-ex-W

  Honestly, I was looking at it the other way. I knew it could only be temporary--at least that's how I would have to consider it, 'cause of the age difference and long range changes and stuff--but a young newbie can be starry-eyed and gloss over those things sometimes. He just struck me as someone who was more introverted (though certainly capable of holding his own) and the mate-for-life type--and inexperienced. I would be too much for him. Friends is the best way sometimes.

  Numbers can stink.
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  31

  What have you "Learned from JWD""??,

  by OUTLAW in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  was it,math?..was it,a new way of looking at things?..was it,you were not alone?..was it,patience?..was it,a way to deal with pain?..what have you "learned from jwd"?...outlaw

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  J-ex-W

  ::From JWD~ I have learned ther are a lot of great people out there and I met them thru here. It has been wonderful.
  
  Same here, also JWD is the site that opened my eyes. I had been out for quite some time but I'd always still believed in some way, in the back of my mind. It's really comforting to not have all that hanging over my head any longer.

  What misanthropic said.
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  24

  Would you join a "Letters to the Editor" Campaign?

  by LennyinBluemont in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i just finished reading randys thread (http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/128072/1.ashx).

  it occurs to me that his initial post here, with a bit of re-wording and reducing it to maybe three short paragraphs, would make an excellent letter to the editor of our local papers.

  what if we all embarked on a letter-writing campaign to our local papers, using this as a basis?

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  J-ex-W

  The link doesn't work when I try it, but if you provide a template, I'd certainly be willing to look at it. I think it's a fantastic idea!