Posts by fifi40

50

Loosing Moms We Never Had

by Sparkplug in

when my mom first came to live with me, i begrudged it.

i was angry.

i left home at age 14 and that was fine by me.

fifi40

Decki

Just to say my heart goes out to you and how impressive your honest comments are.

I know you dont have a problem with J-ex-W's comments but I have to say my bit on those comments which is, that whilst I can see that they were written with in part a considerate motivation I think it is wrong to say that parts of your attitude caused anger or that they would address the parts they could- without losing their cool. Nobody has a right to feel angered by the comments you made, nobody has lived in your shoes and experienced the things you have. Anyone who has similar experiences can relate to some of the things and feelings you wrote about without feeling angry toward your attitude. To me you show an enormously patient and caring attitude toward someone who has not given you any reason to act in such a way. Your way of describing some of the aspects of what you are dealing with may shock some, but your continued action is only desrving of deep respect.

J-ex-W, whilst I know that some of the advice you gave was well intentioned and more likely than not correct, I ask you to really consider your feelings of anger towards someones attitude, who has so obviously, shockingly suffered at the hands of the person they are now one of the main carer's for.

Keep going Denki, I hope things work out well for you.

Fifi

51

Flirted for awhile..making it official today!

by uuus2b1 in

jw
friends

hi all, been "lurking" (phrase i picked up here) for some time now, felt it was time to come out of the closet!

quick bio: live in the us virgin islands.

baptised at 18. elder at 28. married but separated 6yrs now.

fifi40

Hi uuus2b1, nice to hear from you.

Look forward to hearing more..............

Fifi

8

How clergy explain tragic deaths - how WTS mocks them, and reality check

by Inquisitor in

in this week's sunday study, the wts again relish insulting the clergy with the following statement:.

paragraph 5) another reason why people think that god does not care about us is that religious leaders have made them feel that way.

what do clergymen often say when tragedy strikes?

fifi40

I wish in my time as a JW I had had the balls to stick my hand up to answer and totally ignored the content of the paragraph and said something like this

"Dear Brother, if we are to believe all we are taught then the blame does in fact lay at the door of God for all the bad that happens. We are taught that for the last 6000 years he has entered into a game of chess with Satan in which human beings are the pieces played with on the board and as such terrible, horrendous, wicked and evil events befall them. If we are to believe this we also have to believe that this perfect God of Love who is all knowing and all powerful, could find no other way to deal with a little upstart called Satan, than to submit humankind to thousands of years of pain and suffering. And that in fact for mankind to be absolved of their horrendous crimes against him, that he had to be bought off, by sacrificing his son. I suggest before we criticise others for their misguided explanations of why all this crap happens we take a long hard look at our own explanation."

And I apologise in advance if this offends those board members who continue to have a faith and belief in God of some description.

69

CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR EMOTIONS accurately???

by Terry in

many people don't know why they "feel" what they feel.

they fall in love with the wrong person.

they cry unexpectedly.

fifi40

Terry

When you say 'When we disconnect from our emotional reservoir because of passive thinking we may embrace what we know to be poisonous. A JW is programmed to be passive. You must accept what you are told and what you read as Absolute Truth.......This is how a person can consciously know something is false and yet be emotionally stuck feeling a warmth and attatchment to the false belief.'

But if the person does not consciously recognise something to be false, because they were raised on it, taught it as Absolute Truth it can happen the other way round. It can happen, that, they are emotionally uncomfortable with what has been INDOCTRINATED into them. Young minds that are poisoned with a belief system that requires obedience at any cost, dont necessarily question the belief system first. They are severely discouraged from going to other places for information and fear can keep them in that place. I grew up 'fearing' looking at apostate material or reasonings, 'fearing' taking a life saving blood transfusion etc. I believed those teachings to be true with my whole heart and mind. It had successfully been poisoned; I didnt need to look anywhere else, I already had the best. I have heard JWs say 'Why eat hamburgers, when you already have steak'.

My emotional response to certain events was the start of me questioning that mind numbing, toxic, deeply entrenched belief system.

Another example of this for me (and I use it genuinely and not as emotional leverage) was the birth of my first son. I was lying in a hospital bed, extremely poorly, having given birth to a 12 week premature and also very poorly baby boy. I was asked by the doctors about the blood issue in relation to my son. Now, any reasoning, logical thinking parent would say 'Do what it takes' and my heart, mind and emotional response were just that 'Do whatever it takes.' But the words that came out of my mouth were 'I dont want him to have blood' and I believed I was right to say that. I was blindly stumbling on because of my deep-rooted belief sytem and ignoring all the emotional response my body was having to this decision. I ignored the feelings of relief and gladness on knowing that he would be made a ward of court and receive blood regardless. In this instance my emotions were wiser than my logical, rational, aware mind. If I had listened to those feelings sooner I may have been out of the organisation more quickly.

When your rationale has been twisted and manipulated from birth, having a 'gut feeling' that something isnt right can be the simplest piece of information (in the sense that your body is telling you something) that is required to start a change.

If you are already asleep on your text book, it may take the uncomfortable feelings of your resting place, to wake you up.

69

CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR EMOTIONS accurately???

by Terry in

many people don't know why they "feel" what they feel.

they fall in love with the wrong person.

they cry unexpectedly.

fifi40

Oxford English Dictionary definition of a source - a place, person or thing from which something originates.

For those that have been indoctrinated with a belief system, it can be that the only source/beginning/start/cause for them to examine that belief system and hence bring about change to it, is their emotional reaction to it.

As an example of this I will speak of my own experience. I was taught the belief system of Jehovahs Witnesses from birth. For years I accepted it as the 'truth' and as being true. I remember studying with a man who had lost his mother and was desperate for answers. I felt uncomfortable with the answers I was giving. Those feelings of discomfort were the starting point of my questioning all that I had been taught and supposedly believed.

If I keep on doing what I have always done but I feel sad, angry, depressed about it I am not listening to those feelings; or the information those feelings are trying to give me (that something is not right in my world, that I need to examine my beliefs). Those feelings or emotions can be the starting point or source of my examining what is wrong in my world or my belief system.

Also if I smile at you what does it tell you about me? If I am crying and you walk into the room what does it tell you? If I look angry what does it tell you?

Your source of information is the emotion I am showing by my facial expression or body language. We read it every day in other people, we recognise that somebody is happy, sad or angry for example.

Emotion can be a source of information.

27

Article - Does the Witness stance on WAR prove they are the true religion?

by jwfacts in

many jws believe they are the only religion that doesn't go to war and hence the only true religion.

i am working on an article at http://jwfacts.com/index_files/war.htm to show that this is not valid reasoning, and would love any comments.

despite being neutral in war, jehovah's witnesses are not pacifists.

fifi40

This may be of interest to you

http://www.bible.ca/jw-hitler.htm

69

CAN YOU IDENTIFY YOUR EMOTIONS accurately???

by Terry in

many people don't know why they "feel" what they feel.

they fall in love with the wrong person.

they cry unexpectedly.

fifi40

Our emotions are a valuable source of information.

This is a simplified diagram of what happens when we feel emotion

EVENT>>>>>>>>>INTERPRETATION (may be based on our values)>>>>>>>>>>>EMOTIONAL RESPONSE.

Examples of the above happening

A battered wife whose husband says he is sorry and it wont happen again; does she accept or reject this. Her interpretation of events for arguments sake is based on having seen her own mother abused/ her own low feelings of self esteem and the man who is in front of her telling her he loves her and it wont happen again. Her values may be based on her life experience that abuse happens, it is normal, it is worth it for the good times, you have made your bed so you lie in it, you have to stay together for the kids. If she doesnt have emotional response to the abuse it will never change. If she doesnt have fear of this man and what he can do to her, she will never question her interpretation of life and change it.

A suicide bomber who is raised on the values of a religion. He is taught that it is right to die for God. The values he is has been given to a rational person are twisted, but to him they are right. The night before he is due to die in a suicide misssion, he is desperately sad and fearful. It is only at this point when his emotions are screaming out to him that something is wrong that he has a chance to examine and change his interpretation and their underlying values.

So sometimes our emotions are a valuable source of information. They are telling us that something is not right in OUR world and that it is time to re-evaluate our values, our source of interpretation.

It is only when a JW becomes totally fed up, depressed, unhappy, sad, angry with his life as a JW that he will begin to question that life; the things he has blindly accepted and the value system he has adopted.

In conclusion our emotions tell us what is happening to us in our world right now, this may be based on fact or fiction. The feelings these emotions arouse can be a very useful source of information in telling us something is right or wrong, good or bad. They may be the very thing that makes us stop and scrutinize all that we have been taught, learnt or had forced upon us.

171

The vote is in: SCIENCE vs RELIGION......who won?

by Terry in

history has demonstrated:.

religion is following orders by implicitly trusting someone or something.. science asks questions.. religion purports to answer questions.. science seeks to disprove its own conclusions.. religion seeks to reinforce its own dogma.. science is error-correction toward adjusting for realities as they unfold.. religion internalizes against reality by mocking up a substitute.. science is the most recent development of the human mind.

technology proves science to be successful in advancing human progress.. religion disdains human progress and waits for the end.

fifi40

Oh and would you mind if I posted this question as a new topic?

171

The vote is in: SCIENCE vs RELIGION......who won?

by Terry in

history has demonstrated:.

religion is following orders by implicitly trusting someone or something.. science asks questions.. religion purports to answer questions.. science seeks to disprove its own conclusions.. religion seeks to reinforce its own dogma.. science is error-correction toward adjusting for realities as they unfold.. religion internalizes against reality by mocking up a substitute.. science is the most recent development of the human mind.

technology proves science to be successful in advancing human progress.. religion disdains human progress and waits for the end.

fifi40

And still laughing........

Hey Terry here's a question for you

Is it a scientific fact that you are a bigot, blind to others opinions who is as pompous as any religious poster, or more; or is it a myth?

From the Mutual appreciation company

171

The vote is in: SCIENCE vs RELIGION......who won?

by Terry in

history has demonstrated:.

religion is following orders by implicitly trusting someone or something.. science asks questions.. religion purports to answer questions.. science seeks to disprove its own conclusions.. religion seeks to reinforce its own dogma.. science is error-correction toward adjusting for realities as they unfold.. religion internalizes against reality by mocking up a substitute.. science is the most recent development of the human mind.

technology proves science to be successful in advancing human progress.. religion disdains human progress and waits for the end.

fifi40

Sorry Terry

But I am laughing my socks off (probably a British expression, but I am sure even a bigot like you can understand it) (Oh and the bigot bit was a joke).

AKJeff, take a chill pill, no one is asking you to debate with Terry. Those that choose to, do so at their own risk and you have to keep an open mind and be prepared to do some research, be willing to learn and argue your point strongly if necessary. Some like the challenge.

You can never accuse Terry of not having done his research or of having strong reasoning for his argument. And if he appears offensive I think gently bringing this to his attention is more noble than insulting him as a person.

Still laughing..............