I always liked the joke:
Who was the stretchiest man in the bible?
Balaam. He tied his Ass to a tree and walked into town.
metaspy
JoinedPosts by metaspy
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48
Time for Jokes.....Tell Us Your Favorite JW Joke!
by new boy ini like rodney dangerfielsd's .
"so i hear a knock at the door.
i open the door and there are two jehovah's witness, they look at me and both say 'they are not interested' ....i get no respect.. and .
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Are Any Here Afraid of "Getting Caught" Doing Something "Wrong" By a JW?
by minimus indo you still look over your shoulder to see if some jw might "report" you to the elders for doing something inappropriate by witness standards??
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Blew a JW's mind when I told him I am an apostate
by hambeak ina jw came into the shop the other day and left an awake.
i told him i am an apostate and i thought he was going to have a heart attack.
lol.. has anyone else had this experience?
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50
A Holiday Gift to JWD, from Scully & Friends
by Scully ini have been working on this little project for quite some time, and it's finally ready to share with all of you... just in time for the holidays!.
this project entailed converting scans of hard copies of public talk outlines into pdf format and then compiling all of them into zip folders.
there are over 150 documents in total, complete with update notices from brooklyn.
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50
A Holiday Gift to JWD, from Scully & Friends
by Scully ini have been working on this little project for quite some time, and it's finally ready to share with all of you... just in time for the holidays!.
this project entailed converting scans of hard copies of public talk outlines into pdf format and then compiling all of them into zip folders.
there are over 150 documents in total, complete with update notices from brooklyn.
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Field ministry blooper reel:
by Awakened07 in-did you ever stuff up your presentation while going door-to-door?.
i remember one beautiful summer day, me and my 'partner' were slowly approaching a man working in his garden.
it was warm, it was sunny, it was beautiful, it was peaceful and quiet - you might say it was "paradise".
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and so it goes...
by metaspy inthis morning i started this topic: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/147355/1.ashx.
now i shall post the follow-up.. as i predicted, my mom would come with elders in tow to have a conversation.. actually, she threw me for a loop at first.
no elders with her.. she had them wait a half an hour then she let them in.. thus i couldn't reject the whole lot of them at the door, she was their way in.. secondly, she brought the elders from the nearby hall, not the ones who know me.. the whole time i thought she would go for someone who she knows can dominate my thinking, but instead she went with the unknown.. .
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35
and so it goes...
by metaspy inthis morning i started this topic: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/147355/1.ashx.
now i shall post the follow-up.. as i predicted, my mom would come with elders in tow to have a conversation.. actually, she threw me for a loop at first.
no elders with her.. she had them wait a half an hour then she let them in.. thus i couldn't reject the whole lot of them at the door, she was their way in.. secondly, she brought the elders from the nearby hall, not the ones who know me.. the whole time i thought she would go for someone who she knows can dominate my thinking, but instead she went with the unknown.. .
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35
and so it goes...
by metaspy inthis morning i started this topic: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/147355/1.ashx.
now i shall post the follow-up.. as i predicted, my mom would come with elders in tow to have a conversation.. actually, she threw me for a loop at first.
no elders with her.. she had them wait a half an hour then she let them in.. thus i couldn't reject the whole lot of them at the door, she was their way in.. secondly, she brought the elders from the nearby hall, not the ones who know me.. the whole time i thought she would go for someone who she knows can dominate my thinking, but instead she went with the unknown.. .
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metaspy
A&W, I just need to reread all the facts.
I hurt my head to not be able to nail these guys down to any facts.
Many times elder #1 would say, "that was in the 70s, not now".
I wanted to call "bull****" but I couldn't without proof. I didn't actually let them see the CD.
I figured that would be instant DF for purchasing it, and I am trying to avoid that. -
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and so it goes...
by metaspy inthis morning i started this topic: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/147355/1.ashx.
now i shall post the follow-up.. as i predicted, my mom would come with elders in tow to have a conversation.. actually, she threw me for a loop at first.
no elders with her.. she had them wait a half an hour then she let them in.. thus i couldn't reject the whole lot of them at the door, she was their way in.. secondly, she brought the elders from the nearby hall, not the ones who know me.. the whole time i thought she would go for someone who she knows can dominate my thinking, but instead she went with the unknown.. .
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metaspy
This morning I started this topic: http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/7/147355/1.ashx
Now I shall post the follow-up.
As I predicted, my mom would come with elders in tow to have a conversation.
Actually, she threw me for a loop at first. No elders with her.
She had them wait a half an hour then she let them in.
Thus I couldn't reject the whole lot of them at the door, she was their way in.
Secondly, she brought the elders from the nearby hall, not the ones who know me.
the whole time I thought she would go for someone who she knows can dominate my thinking, but instead she went with the unknown.
So conversation with my mom went something like this (I kept silent mostly):
"You don't love Jehovah"
"You owe it to Jehovah to keep trying"
"I could have killed myself when you were younger, but I stayed alive to keep you in the truth"
"How do you think Jah feels about you leaving His organization?"
Somewhere in there she hit a cord that made me start crying (d**n). She knew she was winning.
Just after I cleared up my tears, in come the elders.
they now deny everything. EVERYTHING!
All evidence from Barbara's CD - never happened.
catch phrases of the elders: IF that is true... If that happened...
I even pointed to some of the most vilifying evidence I could bring out - elder response: you can't trust the world.
they went so far as to say that some of the evidence was forged.
Apparently today's talk was on loyalty. That fit in nicely.
also, elder #2 was the one to give it - coincidence? I think not.
After that mental beating, I need to go and refresh my memory of why I made the decision to leave in the first place.
I can't remember, too many mismatching facts...