Heavy petting once before I was baptized with my first ex. He was baptized and quite a bit older than me (I was 16, and he was 25). Coming from the world, I didn't think it was bad, so I didn't confess to the elders before, during or after the marriage.
jamiebowers
JoinedPosts by jamiebowers
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43
sex before marriage in the borg
by heyfea in(i don't know if i posted this already, since i got errors every time i tried) .
do you think that a lot of engaged jws have sex before getting married?
i think so, only a few fall into the guilt trip after they're married, and ultimately confess.
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has anyone needed Meds to get thru this process???
by New light for you inim' really thinkin' i might need to get.... something!
some kind of drugs to go thru this... ativan, xanax.... something... or i'm gonna make myself sick dealing with saying good-bye to all my life-long friends and family by saturday.... any suggestions on good drugs?
didd you have to go to your general dr. to get them... or psych?.
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jamiebowers
Ditto on what Blondie said. If you didn't need meds a jw, with all of the pressure that it entails, you very well may not need them after you're out. Just in case, though, why don't you have a counselor's phone number on hand?
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i'm not as strong as I seem.. .what would you say?
by New light for you inhey gang.... can we be a gang?
that would be a fun "anit-witness" thing to do ... but more to the subject...... i realize that saturday at our elders meeting we're gonna give them our da letter.
this is damn emotional stuff.
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jamiebowers
Maybe you should write a letter detailing what made you change your mind about the WTB&TS, make copies of it and give to friends in case things get too emotional. You don't have much time, though, since it is already Thursday. I know this is difficult, but for me, it was the best thing that ever happened. Good luck and God bless.
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~ I escaped it, a life wasted - I'm never going back again ~
by Awakened07 inlyrics and melody by pearl jam.. the music may not be for everyone, but i recognized myself in the lyrics.. .
you're always saying that there's something wrong.
i'm starting to believe it's your plan all along.
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jamiebowers
Here is the video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qL-96mkx0PI
When I was a jw and in a very abusive marriage with a jw husband and a slave to the WTB&TS that insisted I remain married to a crazy man, this Madonna song was popular. The following words summed up how I was feeling about keeping the sick secrets of my husband and the cult to which I belonged all the while being very afraid of being killed by domestic violence:
“I have a tale to tell. Sometimes it gets so hard to hide it well, I was not ready for the fall, too blind to see the writing on the wall. A man can tell a thousand lies. I've learned my lesson well. Hope I live to tell the secret I have learned. Til then, it will burn inside of me.” And then later it says, “The truth is never far behind. You kept it hidden well. If I live to tell the secret I knew then, will I ever have the chance again? If I ran away, I'd never have the strength to go very far. How will they hear the beating of my heart? Will it grow cold, this secret that I hide? Will I grow old? How will they hear, when will they learn? How will they know?” It's called "Live to Tell." It still makes me cry.
Here is the video on YouTube: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fvRttd5ESx8
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Any actually embarrased to admit they were Witnesses?
by Robert7 inwhen i was active, i was always (usually) proud to talk about being a jw, our faith, reasons for our stupid beliefs on birthdays, x-mas, etc.
now with everything i'm going through, given how much of an impact this is to my life, i want to talk to others about it, like coworkers, and other friends.
but thinking about how i would explain how it's a mind-controlling cult, i feel stupid for falling for it.
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jamiebowers
I was df'd in 1988 and was embarrased until I watched the Dateline program in 2001. Now I talk about it to anyone if it comes up, which is frequent since some of my family members are still in. fading or also df'd. When I heard about a year and a half ago that a relative was fading, I emaled some close friends and acquaintences who I knew participated in prayer chains to ask them for their prayers for him. It went WORLDWIDE in just a matter of a day and half. I received emails and phone calls from so many people who were very understanding. No one has ever been critical of me for being a jw, since I got out.
Comfort with the past usually comes in time. Once that happens, the more you open up to people, the more chance you have of saving someone else from the grief that you experienced while a slave to the WTB&TS. It also gives you a chance to replace some of the people you have lost. For instance, there are a few ladies the same age as my mother, who aren't related to me and have taken her place. In my worldly family, a cousin and an aunt who are about the same age as my mom actually had an argument on which of them would take me in as a sort of foster daughter.
It's normal to feel ashamed about being conned, but it by no means makes you a stupid person. Mental manipulation is used for a purpose, and you have nothing to be embarrassed about.
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State Truthful Facts About JWs That Make Them Look Bad, Weird, Foolish
by minimus inyou don't need to exaggerate the foibles of jws to get the point across that they are not "the truth".
can you state some facts that show that jehovah's witnesses are not "normal' and that their religion is weird and simply abnormal?.
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jamiebowers
Refusal to salute the flag, vote or perform military service yet take advantage of the freedoms of civilized society.
Not celebrating holidays.
Refusing to support charities but takes advantage of them.
SH*T, I can't stop. Someone please help me to shut up about this!
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State Truthful Facts About JWs That Make Them Look Bad, Weird, Foolish
by minimus inyou don't need to exaggerate the foibles of jws to get the point across that they are not "the truth".
can you state some facts that show that jehovah's witnesses are not "normal' and that their religion is weird and simply abnormal?.
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jamiebowers
The fact that the man is the absolute head of the household and that men are the only ones to lead and teach.
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State Truthful Facts About JWs That Make Them Look Bad, Weird, Foolish
by minimus inyou don't need to exaggerate the foibles of jws to get the point across that they are not "the truth".
can you state some facts that show that jehovah's witnesses are not "normal' and that their religion is weird and simply abnormal?.
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jamiebowers
Oh, and the blood issue.
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Did/Does God answer your prayers?
by song19 inin my spiritual journey, which includes trying to decide if i still believe in god anymore or not i am beginning to question if god listened to my prayers or even answered them.
i think i had a track record of praying more when i needed something.
terrible i know.
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jamiebowers
I don't know. When I was a jw I would pray for my husband's abuse to stop, and the only time it did was when I left. Was that an answer to my prayers, or was it just me taking action?
After being df'd I stopped praying for several years, until I visited a "worldly" friend of mine from childhood who was dying from brain cancer. She was a big born againer, and during a tearful conversation, she asked me to pray for her. She wasn't afraid to die and was firmly convinced that she was heaven bound. But she wanted to see her only child off to his first year of school, to let him out into the world. so to speak. The doctors told her that it would never happen, as the tumor was inoperable and growing larger by the day. I also told her that it wasn't me she should want praying for her. She was very familiar with the jws and my df'ing and said, "You are exactly the kind of person I want praying for me." It was so touching, so I prayed and prayed. She called me a few weeks later to say that the tumor had stopped growing and thanked me for my prayers. She died peacefully six months after her son started the first grade.
I prayed ferverently for my dear Aunt Shirley, but she died after being in a coma for four months, just three days shy of her 60th birthday. Did she die, because I waited until she was in a coma to pray for her? I don't know, but I certainly hope not. I went through months of agony and anger over her death and then our beloved cat disappeared. I prayed and prayed and prayed, even making my husband get on his knees every night with me. He thought it was ridiculous, but as usual, he humored me. The mailman brought that crazy cat home to us seven days later, finding him sick and wandering the street in front of our house.
Sorry to say, I don't have a sure answer for you. I do pray now more than when I was a jw, and I don't have near the hassles and heartache that I did then. I guess it doesn't hurt to pray, as long as you can handle the disappointment of your prayers being answered. It probably also wouldn't be a good idea to let prayer take the place of taking action.
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time to leave after 42 yrs of marriage
by tiffy0212 inmarried 42 yrs and ready to leave.
my husband is a jw and has been for 38 yrs.
i even joined from 1974 to 1985 to keep my family together.
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jamiebowers
Welcome, tiffy0212. If your name is on the savings account, do as a previous poster said and go to the bank with identification to find out the amount. You may also want to have them check for any other accounts and cd's. If there's enough money in savings to live on til February and hire an attorney, leave as soon as you want. Most states require that any marriage lasting longer than 10 years requires an equal share of retirement savings and a split of assets such as real estate. Check with an attorney before you do anything, though. You are only 61, which in this day and age is pretty young. Who knows, once you get yourself together, maybe you'll meet someone else to spend your golden years with. Good luck and God bless.