i don't even know where to begin but i'm having trouble with my oldest son (grown) who just moved back home.
he recently got fired and kicked out by his roommate because he has (in my opinion and the rest of my family) an alcohol and pot problem.
he doesn't think he does because he can go days without either, a whole other story.
With mental illness being in the family, insist that he is evaluated by professionals. And after a quick Google search, I've found that spice is illegal in Florida.
http://www.wcjb.com/news/9413/k-2-or-spice-will-be-illegal-in-florida
If he refuses to get mental health help, I suppose you could allow the police to search his room and arrest him. He may be court ordered then to get mental health and drug treatment.
hi guys, been a while since i've posted.
summer is very busy at my job, lots of ot, which is good because winter is slow and i barely get my f/t hours.
anyway, i had to post this to see if anyone has seen a similiar situation in their congregation.. i drive a lot for work, do home visits for a local visiting nurse association.
I heard from my non-jw aunt that an elder and his pioneer wife owned a little sandwich shop that also sold beer. It was common knowledge that they both drank heavily, because they did it in public. Ironically, they didn't lose their "privileges" for that but because they spoke to their df'd adult daughter. I've heard of a few others in different congregations that were heavy drinkers, but who could blame them? I'd probably be a drunk too if I was still a jw.
i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.
if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?
would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?
Dang, dear JB (peace to you!) - Girl, I'm glad I ain't married to you! LOLOLOLOL!
Well, one thing about being married to me, or just knowing me, is that you never have to wonder how I feel or what I'm thinking. LOL! There's been a few times in my marriage that I've had to cut to the chase wth my husband. It wasn't about adultery but something he was ashamed of and tried to hide from me. He was relieved to learn that I knew and confronted him about it, because he didn't have to carry the worry or the guilt. I hope the same happens for SAH.
I'm not angry with my husband, I'm disappointed. He doesn't take a stand for his daughters or myself. He would rather try to keep the peace with his parents than do the right thing for the rest of us.
I know how you feel. Although it wasn't jw related, my husband's family used to to mistreat me. I assumed you were angry, because I sure was! Fortunately, my husband manned up and put a stop to it but not without a little motivation from me. It's been so long ago that I don't remember the exact words, but it was something like, "I put you ahead of everyone else, and I expect a real man to do the same for me". The problem is that your husband has that extra Watchtower conditioning.
Nugget's suggestions, as always, are very good. She's always reasonable. Me, on the other hand, I'm hell on wheels, LOL! Seriously though, please check out Combatting Cult Mind Control. It sounds as though your husband talks the talk but can't walk the walk whn it comes to the Watchtower. If he chases the elders away, chances are good that he'll be shunned by his family. Shunning is very painful but it's a whole lot easier when you understand the dynamics of the cult thinking that causes the shunning in the first place.
i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.
if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?
would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?
Like I said before, save him from himself and yourself in the process. You and I live in the same state, and I know women who have been in your position, and they got half of everything. I don't know if it's state law or if they just had really good attorneys. If you're that worried about it, consult a divorce attorney before you talk to your husband.
At any rate, whether he's having an emotional affair or a physical one, nip this in the bud now. Every dollar he spends on this bovine is less money for your golden years, whether or not they are spent together or apart. Oh, and checking the bills may do you no good. Lots of cheaters get a secret credit card and either manage the account on line or have the statements mailed to a POB. You need to run a credit report on him, which can be done on line for free once a year. If the free one has already been run, then another one can be done for a small fee.
Also I wouldn't worry too much about your friends finding out. If he is indeed spending lots of time with another woman, most, if not all of your friends already know and don't have the nerve to tell you. Stop relying on his honor or guilty conscience to fix this matter. If either of those were motivations for him, he would've ended the affair and/or already come clean. You must protect yourself from both possibilities of acquiring an STD and financial loss against a woman, who at best is a gold digger. If your husbad was being conned in a Nigerian scam you wouldn't hesitate to intervene.
It is important that your husband realize that you are a force to be reckoned with. If your marriage stays together, he will respect you for your strength. If your marriage ends, taking early action will make your life easier later on.
i'd like the input of the guys, maybe some of you who have been married or in a serious relationship for some time.
if you were having an affair and your wife found out about it, would you want her to tell you she knew?
would it serve a purpose, that is, make you end the affair, or on the other hand, push it over the edge to be with the other person?
I'm not a man, but I'd like to put my two cents in the pot. First of all, you're correct in that you're entitled to half of his retirement, social security, and probably anything else he's acquired during your more than quarter of a century marriage.
Second, unless you've been spurning your husband's need for companionship and/or sexual advances on a regular basis, him going outside of the marriage for such things is his fault, not yours. If your marriage is stale, you're not the only one to blame. As a matter of fact, him going outside the marriage is probably a huge contributor to the staleness, because he's not focusing on you or his relationship with you.
Third, if your husband is being conned by a gold digger, you owe it to yourself and to him to wise him up. Why should either of you suffer any financial loss over a bimbo? I have seen this happen so many times: some sweet, young thing who leads with her crotch cons an old geezer into leaving his faithful, loyal wife all because said sweet, young thing is too stupid, too lazy, or both to make it on her own. The husband files for divorce to be with Little Miss Hot Pants only to come running back to his wife after he realizes:
a. He can't keep up with her in any way.
b. She's using him for financial gain.
c. His assets will be cut in half.
What I find funny is that in every case I've seen this happen, the wife decides to follow through with the divorce. It 'aint just widows who are merry! Talk to your husband now, before he goes off the deep end. You don't have to be mean, but letting him know that you're on to them is your right and oblgation. Aside from that, if their relationship is physical, you need to get checked for STDs. He may believe that he's the only one for whom Miss Mary Jane Rotten Crotch spreads her legs, but no one else is the same kind of fool. Sigh, I guess there's no fool like an old fool.
First of all, welcome to JWN. Second, I know you're angry, but calm down! Your husband is feeling atacked on all sides, because he probably hasn't loosened the bonds of cult mind control. The first thing to do is get Steven Hassan's book "Combatting Cult Mind Control", and use his techniques to deal with your husband. Once he realizes that the Watchtower isn't any diferent than any other cult, introduce him to Ray Franz's book, "Crisis of Conscience". When he's ready, bring him here. Although he may need professional counseling, he'll find lots of help and support here, and so will you.
Click on the blue envelope in the upper right hand corner. Hi the back arrow button after you get an error message. Then refresh the page, and you should be able to click on a private message from me.
Welcome to JWN. I was out for about 20 years before happening across JWN, and I've learned a lot about the organization that I didn't know as a jw. You robably will too.
i ask this because an article on msn said that the internet is now 20 years old.
i don't really remember it being used much until around 1995.. i didn't have the internet until around 2001.. i had some great experiences with the opposite sex in large part because of the internet.. obviously it changed my life when i started lurking here.. and social network has helped me get back in touch with relatives, schoolmates, former jws, and people i used to work with.. all in all, i love it!.
so when did you start using it, and how has it changed your life?.
It was late 1996 or early 1997. I went back to school at 31, and all of the traditional students were on the internet. I didn't trust it, because I thought nothing was copyrighted. Then I had an assignment where an internet source was required. The rest is history. I use the internet for research on everything from the best sale price on anything we need to buy to symptoms of illness to phone numbers. Plus I found silentlambs, YouTube and beloved JWN.
gah!
drought of intelligence discovered @ 1:17..... http://www.weather.com/weather/videos/news-41/top-stories-169/drought-turns-lake-blood-red-21501.
Yes, the end of the world is starting in Texas....sheesh!
