Esmeralda

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Posts by Esmeralda

• 
  46

  Tonight's memorial - did you go?

  by dmouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife has just left for the memorial.. just before she went she asked me to come...this was the second year in a row that i declined.

  i hated seeing her so sad, i almost agreed to go just to cheer her up but that would betray her in a very real sense.

  to go to the memorial would be an admission in her eyes (and other jws) that i still believe deep down that it is the truth.

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  Esmeralda

  Good luck expat...I don't know if I could even sit through it without being physically
  sick! I'll be thinking of you and we'll deal with your ranting when you get home...

  hang in there!
  Essie
• 
  46

  Tonight's memorial - did you go?

  by dmouse in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  my wife has just left for the memorial.. just before she went she asked me to come...this was the second year in a row that i declined.

  i hated seeing her so sad, i almost agreed to go just to cheer her up but that would betray her in a very real sense.

  to go to the memorial would be an admission in her eyes (and other jws) that i still believe deep down that it is the truth.

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  Esmeralda

  Hi Dmouse,

  I myself am counting the hours until this day is over.

  My family may have tried to call me, I don't know, I've been screening my calls and they
  didn't leave any messages.

  I'm hoping that they won't pull a dramatic last ditch effort to try to guilt me into letting my daughter
  go. They may show up at the door near to the time of the event and say "Is she ready to go?"

  at which point I'm planning on saying "Thank you but she's not going."

  I am glad to see Thirdson and COMF around here today. Guys I just got done doing an hour
  of yoga and meditation and I'm still so stressed out my muscles are twitching like mad. I'm
  determined not to let this get me into another MS episode. Any wisdom that you have to offer
  or just encouragement will be appreciated.

  For the first time, this year I, like you, Dmouse considered going for my family's sake (See here for the details:
  http://WTSurvivors.homestead.com/Attend.html)

  but I can't mislead them that way. Especially my grandmother. I love her too much to give her false hope.

  My thoughts are with you, Dmouse, and all the rest who are going through this.

  Folks like you, COMF and Thirdson have always been such comfort and strength to me. Thanks for just being here, gentlemen.

  Love you both!

  *hugs all around*
  Es
• 
  11

  Poem

  by Introspection in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the journey by mary oliver.

  one day you finally knew.

  what you had to do, and began,.

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  Esmeralda

  Hi again Frenchy! Yes, I think we did meet at H2O originally. Thanks again for the convention
  info, it'll help a lot!

  *hugs*
  Essie
• 
  24

  HELP!!!! Tina & Esse found new lump this morn.

  by nojw86 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys, you have so supportive with asking about me, need some air words right now, leaving in ahour for emerg.

  prayers laughs anything will do.

  regards.....nojw ... forgive any misspelled words just to shaky to type.

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  Esmeralda

  I'm adding the words to one of my favorite songs by Sting. Justin sent me this cd
  while we were hundreds of miles apart and this song brought me great comfort during my
  trials...I hope it helps you just a little.

  Love,
  Essie

  "When you're down
  and they're counting,
  When your secrets, all found out
  When your troubles take
  to mounting

  When the map you have leads you to doubt
  When there's no information
  and the compass turns to nowhere
  that you know well
  Let your soul be your pilot
  let your soul guide you,
  he'll guide you well

  When the doctors failed to heal you
  when no medicine chest can make you well
  when no counsel leads to comfort
  when there are no more lies
  they can tell

  no more useless information
  and the compass spins
  between heaven and hell

  let your soul be your pilot
  let your soul guide you, he'll guide you well

  And your eyes turn toward the window pane
  to the lights upon the hill
  the distance seems so strange to you now
  and the dark room seems so still

  Let your pain be my sorrow
  Let your tears be my tears too
  Let your courage be my model
  That the north you find will be true
  When there's no more useless information
  and the compass turns to nowhere
  that you know well
  Let your soul be your pilot,
  let your soul guide you,
  Let your soul guide you
  along your way."

  ~Sting

  We're with you in spirit, nojw...
• 
  24

  HELP!!!! Tina & Esse found new lump this morn.

  by nojw86 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hi guys, you have so supportive with asking about me, need some air words right now, leaving in ahour for emerg.

  prayers laughs anything will do.

  regards.....nojw ... forgive any misspelled words just to shaky to type.

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  Esmeralda

  Oh Nojw...
  (((((((((((((((((((((((((((((((HUG HUG HUG)))))))))))))))))))))))))

  I wish I could go to the ER with you and hold your hand!!! Please know that I'll be there
  with you in my heart and I'm sending all my hopes and wishes with you. I'm saying a prayer
  that peace will find your heart and that you will feel the love of all of us here through our words,
  even though they are only words on a screen because they are all that we can offer right now.

  Please e mail me later and let me know how you're doing. If you feel comfortable, please send
  me your e mail address as well so I can keep tabs on you. I'm sending this off now hoping you'll see it
  before you leave, I'll add more on I just wanted you to see that my heart is with you...

  love
  Essie
• 
  11

  Does anyone have the WT with the...

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  district convention dates in it?

  has it been published yet?.

  i really need the date for the convention in a specific location.

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  Esmeralda

  Thanks Frenchy, will mail you right now...

  *hugs*

  Essie
• 
  11

  Does anyone have the WT with the...

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  district convention dates in it?

  has it been published yet?.

  i really need the date for the convention in a specific location.

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  Esmeralda

  District Convention dates in it? Has it been published yet?

  I really need the date for the convention in a specific location. Please e mail me if
  you can help and I'll tell you what city I need.

  Thanks bunches,
  Essie
• 
  5

  Indignation over IBM

  by Norm in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  a person over at wol (retcon) is apparently very indignant about ibm supplying the nazis with equipment for the administration of some of the concentration camps in nazi germany.

  this equipment was used to classify the prisoners in the camps, and he mention that the ibm equipment helped kill between 700,000 and 1,2 million people.

  he is of course appalled at the "corporate greed" shown by ibm.. he is also totally ignorant about watchtower society history and has never given much thought to what happens if the good news hes spreading should ever happen.. it must be very disturbing for brooklyn, which has been a very good customer for ibm during the years.

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  Esmeralda

  Sigh! Trying to deal with a cult and its members is just like dealing with a big adult with severe mental
  illness.

  Truer words were never spoken, Francoise...

  Essie
• 
  24

  "Upright" JW behaviour vs. "Worl...

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm starting this thread because dedalus made such a good point in his post in the "what.

  " thread.

  i won't quote his whole post here, but here's the link:.

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  Esmeralda

  Hi Wendy,

  I'm sorry to hear that alchohol has had such a devestating effect on your family. I am just
  disgusted hearing what happened to your brother. :(

  There is such denial about alchoholics in general in the Borg...especially young ones. I remember
  that my parents used to argue about who was drinking so much of the alchohol in the house, blaming
  each other, never stopping once to ask if one of the kids might be drinking it.

  My second oldest sister started drinking at about 13, 14. She'd come home from school, watch
  cartoons and unwind with a beer. Where the hell were my parents? Why didn't they figure it out?

  Even after my oldest sister confronted my parents about the other sister drinking years later,
  they claimed ignorance. Of course now, years later, they say that she was just 'determined to get
  into trouble." They refuse to accept any responsbility, or to put blame where a large share of it
  belongs, on the organization.

  My sister has been sober for nearly three years now. She does not see my parents at all, has seen
  them once in the past six years. Says that it's instrumental to her staying on the wagon, and I
  believe her. I'm very proud of her for being able to give it up, it's been a struggle. I know that
  she will always be recovering.

  I hope that your sister will find it in herself to stop one day. It's devestating to have to stand
  by, helplessly watching your siblings destroy themselves. I never thought my sister would live
  to see thirty.

  You know, I just had a strange memory. Of my parents giving me champagne mixed with soda
  pop to 'celebrate' when my little brother, who was a premie, finally came home from the hospital.

  I was seven.

  When I asked my mom about it later she said, "We didn't
  want you to be curious about alchohol, we figured we'd take the mystery away."

  Good god, what were they thinking? What kind of insane reasoning is that?

  Es

  p.s. Jimmyjames, the answer to your question is yes. Check your e mail. :)
• 
  11

  Poem

  by Introspection in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  the journey by mary oliver.

  one day you finally knew.

  what you had to do, and began,.

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  Esmeralda

  Hi Introspection,
  Welcome to the board, and thanks for sharing that great poem. Hope you'll find the
  peace you're looking for and some support here to listen to that voice inside of you a
  little more each day.

  *hugs*
  Esmeralda

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best