i'm speechless.
Esmeralda
JoinedPosts by Esmeralda
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83
I Don't Sympathise With Suicides
by Englishman inlet me explain.. firstly i have seen any number of so-called attempted suicides.
i've walked past an old girl friends house, seen her watching tv through the window, by the time i'm knocking on the door she's told me that she had her head in the gas oven and my knock stopped her.. my mother in law walks into the sea for a pastime.
every time she can't get her own way she walks in up to her knees and waits for someone to see her.
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46
Should I post here anymore?
by Mindchild inthat is the question i've been asking myself.
i'm not trolling for attention with this post.
nobody has hurt my feelings.
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Esmeralda
i think about it often, mindchild.
i guess i'll continue to come here when i have written something that i think might be useful to someone. there are some really wonderful people here and they all know how to reach me via e mail when i am absent for awhile.
mostly due to health i've had to step back, and will have to in a greater degree now, it seems.
i say as long as it helps you or you feel you get something out of contributing, continue. when what it takes out of you becomes more than you are willing to part with, then it's time to move on.
hugs
essie -
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Disfellowshipping-when did it start?
by target indoes anyone know when the practice of disfellowshipping by the jws started?
i doubt that it was done from the very beginning.
i was asked that question this morning and it is not something i have ever thought about before.. target
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Esmeralda
[rubbing eyes]
jankyn, is that really you? i think of you so often...
hugs
essie -
24
my cousin's brother sends a card...grrrrr
by Mulan inmy cousin, sharon, who died in september.......was disfellowshipped three years ago.
her brother is still a witness, and wrote a thank you card to an elder in the congregation here.
this elder and his wife came to visit sharon a few days before she died, and before she started to lose her ability to make sense when she talked.
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Esmeralda
just had to respond to this
terra you said "I can't recall how many times my siblings, father or I was called demonic or possessed for not putting up with her crap"
oh man, isnt that the truth. i've lost track of all the times i've been called possessed just for not doing the 'theocratic' thing.
amazing how many jw moms resort to that.
hugs
essie -
24
my cousin's brother sends a card...grrrrr
by Mulan inmy cousin, sharon, who died in september.......was disfellowshipped three years ago.
her brother is still a witness, and wrote a thank you card to an elder in the congregation here.
this elder and his wife came to visit sharon a few days before she died, and before she started to lose her ability to make sense when she talked.
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Esmeralda
Nelly!!! This is SO TRUE!!!
after
My JW sister just did this to my ex-JW sister's husband at his dad's funeral a couple weeks ago. I was mortified! She can't even respect the way the family was greiving without making it a frigging public service announcement and recruitment tactic for the Borg! I was sick to my stomach.
shedding apearance tears to show their fake sorrow to my friends
while they use the occassion to sales pitch some crappy tracts.Then, as soon as the funeral was over my Jw sister and mom made fun of the way that the widow believed that her husband was in heaven and how she "talked" to her own father who has been dead for years.
I astounded my mother, through my shock by saying "Well even you believe that 144,000 people are going to heaven, who is to say who they are! Do you know for a certainty that her father isn't in heaven?!
That actually shut her up!
Marilyn, I can't tell you how nauseated I am after reading that note. It's so insulting. The worst part is I know that his thinking is common among the R&F and that if I died tomorrow somehow, my JW relatives would be "sure" that the MS somehow twisted my brain into making me leave.
Not bloody likely!
Nelly is right, the people who will honor Sharon's memory most are the ones who really knew her, like you. Sad her brother really had no clue as to who she really was.
God knows that 2 of my 3 siblings have no clue who I am.
Grrrr. Repulsive. Whole note from start to finish, just awful. Sorry you had to see it.
love you,
essie -
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Fear and pain and death...
by Cowboy indo you fear death?if so,do you fear it because of the pain that is likely to go along with it?or because of what will become of your soul(your self)after death?.
curiosly,i find that i no longer fear death.not that i want to die-i don't.but i wonder if this how i should feel.. i don't like pain,but i have a fairly high threshold of pain,i think.i'm sure there is much greater pain than what i have experienced,but though i avoid it when at all possible(including spankings...sorry chat babes),i'm not afraid that i can't deal with it if i have to.. likewise death,i just have no great fear of it anymore.i don't think that it's due to my beliefs about what will happen after i die...i don't have any.sure,i was raised a j.w.,instilled from birth with the idea that if i didn't survive armageddon,that i'd be resurrected thereafter.but i don't buy that anymore...neccesarily.nor do i believe in the heaven or hell concept...neccesarily.i do believe that if i'm the best kind of person i can be,then it will have to be good enough for whatever,if anything,lies beyond the life i'm living now.. in talking to others,though,i find very few(if any)people who don't have a pretty high degree of fear about death.it has me wondering,and i'd appreciate your comments.. cowboy.
we ride and never worry about the fall.
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Esmeralda
Hey Cowboy :)
My (also ex-JW) sister and I were discussing this, as her father in law passed away weeks ago after an eight year bout with cancer. It literally took the man piece by piece, and was hell for his family to watch. I was amazed by the fact that even though he was in his late sixties, he was determined to try everything he could to stay alive.
She asked me the same questions you ask, and my response was, "Hell, I don't know what's after death." Interesting choice of words I guess, eh?
I am not afraid to die. This may or may not be a by product of the years (and I mean years) that I spent living with suicidal depression.
I haven't been suicidal in five years and am looking forward to a long life (my husband says I have to live to be at least 110 :)
I live with pretty hefty pain courtesy of MS and am, realistically, looking at a decline in my health in years to come. I refuse to waste too much time thinking about it now, though. MS will not shorten my lifespan significantly, but (according to my doctors at least) it will in time pretty well disable me. Unless they find a cure. I have already lost a lot of my independence to it, but I won't let it take my spirit with it.
I think that fear of death is so closely related to what you believe happens afterward that I can't seperate the two. I also know that in my case it has a lot to do with the quality of my life. As I've become happier, I dislike the idea of dying much more (not fear, just dislike)
I'm not making much sense. What I'm trying to say is, I don't fear my own death so much as I fear trying to have to live a life without the people I love most.
Very deep. Will have to ponder this awhile. I agree with the others who have said though that if death is pre-occupying your thoughts or you feel depressed, please seek help. (This is to anyone on the board who may be contemplating) Life is worth hanging around for. I can say this from experience.
love
essie -
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Welcome WOL Refugees
by Thirdson ina trip to wol.com will only present you with a farewell notice.
big ray writes:".
it saddens me to have to close the site, however, doing so will also help me to improve my own circumstances that have been so hard for me to deal with recently.".
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Esmeralda
Let me join the welcome wagon here and also offer my greeting to those who find themselves up the creek without a discussion board.
What you read here will most likely at times shock, inspire, scare, surprise, help and teach you. Even if you only feel up to lurking at first, just keep reading. You'll see that some of the guys around here really make sense! (pointing at Thirdson and COMF)
Even the ones who don't make sense can be entertaining at times!(pointing to self) *lol*
Welcome aboard!
Esmeralda
"Anyone perfect must be lying,
anything easy has its cost." ~BNL -
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Mother's Letter To Start Off The New Year...
by silentlambs ini received this letter from my mother over the weekend, it came with a card and a special note to my children.
i plan to let them read it someday, not today..... silentlambs.
december 20,2001 .
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Esmeralda
Thanks again silentlambs for posting it here. Anyone who believes that you could possibly fabricate something like that has never been on the receiving end of such JW "love".
I think your purpose in posting it here is evident to anyone who's ever been through this alone. And we appreciate it.
teejay, man, there is just nothing I can say. You are stuck on one point and you can't see around it. You seem to be having such a good time insulting me that you haven't noticed the other people in the thread expressing similiar thoughts to mine. If you're trying to get a rise outta me, you're wasting your time.
You don't know anything about the way that I am, or think. So, again I'll just say thanks for sharing and I wish you peace. I'm leaving it here.
Namaste!
Es -
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A Message of Love, Comfort & Hope For 2002
by Farkel inone of jehovah's christian witnesses took the time and kindness to e-mail the message of the "good news" jesus said to spread to all the inhabited earth: .
"u are a idiot as u no from the bible jehovah does not care how big the organization from isreal to the early christians they were always the gross minority do i sense bitter jealousy?
of jehovahs people judas?
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Esmeralda
Esmeralda we'll be stuck in paradise I'm afraid with tolerant people. Can you imagine??
Honestly I can't! *lol*
Hey Farkel I know if you were gonna make something up it'd be a hell of a lot more interesting than that drivel was LOL.
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Mother's Letter To Start Off The New Year...
by silentlambs ini received this letter from my mother over the weekend, it came with a card and a special note to my children.
i plan to let them read it someday, not today..... silentlambs.
december 20,2001 .
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Esmeralda
Will someone help her?
*lol* I don't need any help, thanks. I'm doing just fine :)
I suppose that we were only supposed to address our remarks in this thread to Bill and not comment on each other's posts?
I thought you were hard on him. I'm not the only one apparently. So I said so. I thought that this was a discussion board and we were all supposed to discuss. Imagine that!
I suppose "riled" was the wrong word for me to choose, since I don't let anything that happens here get to me anymore. I guess it just seemed a bit harsh to me in a thread where a person was seeking support.
I wonder how many of her friends from the congregation Bill's mom has shared his previous letters with? I also didn't notice anywhere in her letter where she requested that this be kept between them. I'm sure that if she had, he would have respected that.
In any event, we all understand your position. Thanks for sharing.