Esmeralda

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Posts by Esmeralda

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  10

  Dress, Grooming, freedom...

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i was just sitting here thinking about the restorative yoga poses that i'll be doing later to .

  help with my stiff muscles, and realized what a joy it is that i have the freedom to do them now.. if i was still a jw, i wouldn't.. i'm not an extreme person.

  but i do enjoy the immense freedom that i have now when it comes.

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  Esmeralda

  Hi everyone!

  I was just sitting here thinking about the restorative Yoga poses that I'll be doing later to
  help with my stiff muscles, and realized what a joy it is that I have the freedom to do them now.

  If I was still a JW, I wouldn't.

  I'm not an extreme person. But I do enjoy the immense freedom that I have now when it comes
  to what I wear, how I exercise, what I read, etc.

  Here is a sample of the freedoms that I cherish now that I'm free:

  I can wear my hair any way I like without being worried about "Setting an example"

  I can wear leather jackets without being told they're "rebellious"

  I can wear my Bajoran ear cuff without people talking about it behind my back.

  I can do Yoga without anyone getting their feathers ruffled.

  I can go to the music store and pick out the music that I like, instead of what is
  "acceptable for Christians"

  I could go on and on. But I'm just wondering, what are the freedoms you love now that
  you're out?

  Essie

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  24

  "Upright" JW behaviour vs. "Worl...

  by Esmeralda in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i'm starting this thread because dedalus made such a good point in his post in the "what.

  " thread.

  i won't quote his whole post here, but here's the link:.

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  Esmeralda

  I'm starting this thread because Dedalus made such a good point in his post in the "What
  did you do?" thread. I won't quote his whole post here, but here's the link:
  http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/forum/thread.asp?id=4063&page=3&site=3

  it's the tenth post down.

  Dedalus was telling us about the behaviour of himself, and others, now as compared to when he
  was still a Witness. He pointed out that he saw plenty of drunkenness, smoking, premarital sex,
  etc. etc. in the org.

  Of course, I have to agree with him.

  One of my sisters is a recovering alchoholic. She started drinking at 14. Now that I think about it,
  pretty close to the time when she got baptized!

  She and a friend were groped at a wedding reception one time by a brother we didn't recognize
  from another hall who was drunk. Imagine our surprise when we saw him on the platform at
  our hall the next morning: he was the visiting speaker.

  My ex and his father used to love to go to the bar on St. Patricks day and drink green beer,
  get up on the stage and sing with the band. Would come home stinking drunk, my ex
  would throw up and pass out and then claim the next morning that he had 'food poisoning'.

  Remember, now, that my ex's dad was the P.O. while he was doing all of this. I never saw the man
  without a drink in his hand, ever. He had a few other elder friends who were his drinking buddies.

  They would sit around drinking, and once they were thoroughly tanked, start talking about
  judicial committees they'd served on! UGH!

  One time we were out at a restaurant for my in laws anniversary and my ex and his dad got so drunk
  that I had to take the car keys. They were talking so loud and making such dirty jokes that people were
  turning around and staring at us. If I had it to do over, I'd have walked out in the middle of the whole
  scene.

  Most of my ex's friends have cheated on their wives, many divorced. I know more depressed,
  addicted, unfaithful people in the organization than I have met out of it.

  As far as morals go, let me tell you, my husband's family is far closer to the standards
  that JW's claim to have, and they don't attend a church or practice any specific religion.

  Even my JW relatives have made that exact comment, with utter shock at the situation.

  I visited his small New England home town last year and it was amazing, his parents, all of his friends
  parents...married 25, 30 years and still happy. All their kids grew up to be successful adults,
  Justin says that maybe one family in his town had a kid in trouble or divorced parents in the
  whole time he was growing up.

  So to those in the Borg who say that I must be living an immoral life, or I'd want to go back,
  I say that I'd rather be where I am today than go back to where I was.

  Dedalus, thanks for your post. Got me all fired up this morning and that's just what I need today :)

  *hugs*
  Essie

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  93

  What did you do?

  by StiLLinTruth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to all those who have in some way left the organization (be it disfellowshipping, disassociating, dis-whatever):.

  come now, i know the amount of people who "realized that wt doctrine was in serious error" and politely handed in their letter of resignation has to be very small.

  the level of bitterness and hostility towards the closest-to-what's-biblical organization has to develop some other way.. what did you do?

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  Esmeralda

  Dedalus,

  Excellent post! So excellent, in fact that I'm going to use it to start another thread.

  Hope ya don't mind :)

  luv ya
  Essie

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  13

  Jehovahs Witnesses aboard the Titanic

  by nojw86 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how many jw do you think are on the same ship?

  the captain on the titanic told everyone to abandon ship,watctower leaders tell ones to remain loyal to the end never abandon the org, just how many see it sinking, you see the the unhappy looks on their faces on train stations, street coners, even going and coming out of their meetings, the zeal is gone.

  one guess that reading so many posts of ones leaving, who wants to sit on a sinking and tilting ship, it makes one a bit sick in the tummy.

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  Esmeralda

  Mr. O'Tally...

  I THOUGHT I detected something Enya-ish in you.

  That's quite a compliment, thanks! :) and you've never even heard me sing :)

  You know, I've always been deeply effected by Roma's lyrics, they're what really attracted me to
  Enya's music, aside from the gorgeous harmonies of course. I quoted from them
  in the essays I wrote after my miscarriages, and that music was very healing for me...

  I'll think of ya next time I put on an Enya cd :)

  Essie

  p.s. RR...you know I remember that story. Damned depressing if you ask me. To survive that
  only to get sucked into the Tower...*shudder*

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  93

  What did you do?

  by StiLLinTruth in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  to all those who have in some way left the organization (be it disfellowshipping, disassociating, dis-whatever):.

  come now, i know the amount of people who "realized that wt doctrine was in serious error" and politely handed in their letter of resignation has to be very small.

  the level of bitterness and hostility towards the closest-to-what's-biblical organization has to develop some other way.. what did you do?

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  Esmeralda

  This reply is for doubtingsister. I'm not going to waste my breath answering StillIn's question
  about why I left...I think he is most likely a troll.

  Doubtingsister your entire post was excellent, but my heart breaks reading this:

  I felt sick in my heart when my daughter at age 5 asked if her loving Grandma was going to die at Armageddon just because she wasn't a witness. How do you teach kids things like that and still believe that God is Love?

  My daughter is the same age and she recently said to me "Mom, how can God make you die
  at Armageddon, you're so sweet to me."

  Talk about a horrible feeling. I had already decided not to go back, but I'll tell you what, if
  there had been a snowballs chance of me ever even considering it, that took care of it.

  Stillintruth, I'm happy for you that you found a religion that makes you so happy. Hopefully you
  will follow in the steps of Christ, your exemplar, especially in the matter of humility and kindness to
  those who have been mistreated by those who claim to be representing him, and his Father.

  *hugs* to you, Doubting. You're not alone in this WT created mess, by any means...

  Es

  p.s. Are you counting your time here, Stillin? Just curious.

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  13

  Jehovahs Witnesses aboard the Titanic

  by nojw86 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how many jw do you think are on the same ship?

  the captain on the titanic told everyone to abandon ship,watctower leaders tell ones to remain loyal to the end never abandon the org, just how many see it sinking, you see the the unhappy looks on their faces on train stations, street coners, even going and coming out of their meetings, the zeal is gone.

  one guess that reading so many posts of ones leaving, who wants to sit on a sinking and tilting ship, it makes one a bit sick in the tummy.

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  Esmeralda

  Hey Tman!

  Those are the lyrics to one of my all time favorite Enya songs! Roma Ryan writes most of
  her lyrics. If you haven't heard those words
  set to music, you should, it's beautiful.

  I forget which cd it's from but if you want to find out, lemme know I'll dig it up.

  Ez :)

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  13

  Jehovahs Witnesses aboard the Titanic

  by nojw86 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how many jw do you think are on the same ship?

  the captain on the titanic told everyone to abandon ship,watctower leaders tell ones to remain loyal to the end never abandon the org, just how many see it sinking, you see the the unhappy looks on their faces on train stations, street coners, even going and coming out of their meetings, the zeal is gone.

  one guess that reading so many posts of ones leaving, who wants to sit on a sinking and tilting ship, it makes one a bit sick in the tummy.

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  Esmeralda

  Thanks Tallydude! I appreciate you adding it to your site.

  and...you mean the picture? am I a movie star? I'll never tell ;)

  *ROFL* I WISH! The picture is a nod to the other online alias that I have used for years, but not
  on the "ex jw" scene or whatever we call this.

  Thanks to everyone else who commented on the poetry as well, I hardly know what to do with
  all this praise *lol* :)

  Ez :)

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  13

  Official Intro/My Story....

  by Sunchild in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  anyway, my name's rochelle.

  i posted on h2o (and now here) as sunchild, everyone's favorite witness-turned-wiccan.

  i think that i was looking for a surrogate family.

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  Esmeralda

  Hi Sunchild!

  Just wanted to say I'm happy to see you here!

  *hugs*
  Essie

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  27

  I hope this is a friendly place

  by truman in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  i hope this is a friendly place, because i could sure use some friends.

  this is my first try at posting on a discussion board, though i have been lurking here and at a few others on the same subject for a few weeks now.

  about 4 weeks ago i took the plunge and decided to see just what all the mystery and danger of reading "apostate" material was all about.

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  Esmeralda

  Hi Truman,

  Just adding my hello and welcome to the chorus. I hope that you'll like it here, you'll
  certainly be among many who know what you're going through.

  *hugs*
  Esmeralda

  The Four Agreements:
  Be Impeccable With Your Word
  Don't Take Anything Personally
  Don't Make Assumptions
  Always Do Your Best
• 
  13

  Jehovahs Witnesses aboard the Titanic

  by nojw86 in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  how many jw do you think are on the same ship?

  the captain on the titanic told everyone to abandon ship,watctower leaders tell ones to remain loyal to the end never abandon the org, just how many see it sinking, you see the the unhappy looks on their faces on train stations, street coners, even going and coming out of their meetings, the zeal is gone.

  one guess that reading so many posts of ones leaving, who wants to sit on a sinking and tilting ship, it makes one a bit sick in the tummy.

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  Esmeralda

  Your post got me thinking about a poem I wrote last year...I posted it on H2O but I thought I'd
  post it here too...

  Es

  "Shipwreck"
  by Lily Paige

  The water is rising fast.
  It washes over
  the feet of the guilty
  along with the innocent.

  It chills to the core,
  but most are too preoccupied
  to care or notice
  the waves closing around them.

  Many are afraid,
  hiding within towering walls
  that shield their eyes from fearsome sights,
  but offer no protection.

  Many stop moving,
  stand mutely shivering,
  Others look for oars to try to steer,
  to change the boat's direction.

  Some fight each other, some fight themselves:
  wasting precious seconds of their fragile lives.
  Thinking that they have no control,
  over who lives, and who dies.

  Never realizing
  that their war is a fiction
  ...the boat is at all times
  in view of the shore.

  A short swim,
  and one giant leap
  from their position,
  is the stability of land.

  They refuse stubbornly
  to accept what they see,
  in their desperation to believe,
  too afraid to understand.

  I've opened my eyes
  and ears once deaf to the cries
  of those too frightened to
  make their own decisions

  Knowing these are more
  than the prophesied 'sighs'
  of people chosen to be
  God's nation

  I take a deep breath,
  my time is now:
  breathe a final prayer, shut my eyes,
  and step off the bow

  The sea rushing upward
  bringing toward me my calling
  be it heaven or hell,
  striking now...I stop falling

  Some of those around me
  near the beach, don't go on,
  waiting instead for rescue
  that will never come.

  Their fear keeps them captive
  their beliefs borne of hate,
  denying salvation's in their hands,
  until it's far too late.

  Through the flailing and shouting
  I struggle, I strive,
  Through my own unique failings,
  to find truth through the lies

  They shun and berate me,
  as their 'faith' drags them down,
  they refuse my assistance,
  and curse me as they drown

  They can't understand why
  I float, though they sink:
  even as I keep shouting
  "To survive, you must think."

  I struggle to the shore and
  claw my way onto land,
  then my strength starts to rally,
  and I finally stand

  I stare into the sea
  at familiar faces with tears,
  at the scene of destruction
  that was not what it appeared.

  I am grateful that I did not give up my life
  surrendering who I am,
  though I cry for the others
  who have needlessly died.

  They could not keep me down,
  At last, free from their grip,
  Salvation came with reality,
  Of giving up their sinking ship.
  
  ~2000