im thinking often about finding a therapist to talk my burden off my shoulders.
since many years i have noone to talk to.
im lonely while having plenty of friends.
ROFL! I never thought of that!
You know I'm gonna start counting my time in therapy as field service time. Because lord knows they owe me for it... and if they can't pay me then at least it can do is keep them away from me for a while without the "I missed you out in field service" routine.
im thinking often about finding a therapist to talk my burden off my shoulders.
since many years i have noone to talk to.
im lonely while having plenty of friends.
I've recently started seeing a therapist myself- only have had two sessions so far and my next one is Monday. It's too early to really see any changes of course, but I am starting to think that he might not be the one for me.
My issues really have to do with my self-esteem, my issues with my upbringing, religion (of course), and sexuality and so far I do spend a lot of time breaking down a lot of JW concepts to my therapist which just wastes time- time I pay for y'know. I wanna tell him "go to the Internets and you can see for yourself." I had to explain to him issues of baptism and why it is so important, and the guilt that accompanies it, though I think he thinks its just the usual religion v. gay drama (and I don't know maybe it is) and deals with it as such. So I wonder how long I'll continue to see the guy.
HOWEVER, I will say one of the benefits of it all is just being able to say ANYTHING. I mean JWD is awesome and everything, but having a person in front of you who wont blast you for your feelings and thoughts and will take the time to listen (mainly cause you're paying them, but I digress) is so amazing. It felt lke such a rush for a second to say that, "I don't believe it anymore and I'm gay." Well, I don't think you'd say that.... And to say it without a total meltdown that would bring from a witness or a nonchalant expression of a non-jw who doesn't understand your conflict. So I say def. find a therapist and do not feel bad if you don't find the right one the first time. You can just go and enjoy the feeling of letting it all out and trust me, it feels so good to voice how you really feel without worrying about losing your family or being kicked out of your home.
we're talking about a "supreme being" who hates a lot, is violent and vindictive, fascist, any "love" is totally conditional, plays mean mind games (sacrifice your son for me)....he probably oughta be locked up!
mrs flipper
Hmm, okay so we all know that "Jehovah" then has like multiple personalities (since he answers to different names), anger issues, and image issues. Don't forget about his self-esteem.
I mean, I think he really needs to love himself more. Like all those times Israel had left him to serve other Gods, but he kept taking them back over and over again- but not before doing some pissed-off-ex-girlfriend- sh*t, like kiling people, having them enslaved, and sending them into war without his backing when they thought he was there.. Bitter, much? Jehovah would probably key your cars for not serving him (if he could) Like if I could I would have told him to forget those ho*s and that he was fabulous without them.
***Also another thing that sets off my Gaydar about Ms. Jehovah is the fact that his temple always had to be decked out. Gold, the best jewels, and when his temple wasn't right, he would throw a fit. I mean in today's standards, its kinda of tacky, but back then I guess that was what was hot. And like a queen, whenever his folks conquered another place, he made sure that their Gods temple was trashed 'cause he didn't want anyone to outdue his.
we're talking about a "supreme being" who hates a lot, is violent and vindictive, fascist, any "love" is totally conditional, plays mean mind games (sacrifice your son for me)....he probably oughta be locked up!
mrs flipper
Greendawn, I understand that there is a difference between how the WT portrays God/Jehovah and how others do, and that comment was really just a joke. I always felt that there was a big difference between the Ot and the Nt and never unerstand how people could merge the two and gather a complete and balance view of god. But that's just me.
we're talking about a "supreme being" who hates a lot, is violent and vindictive, fascist, any "love" is totally conditional, plays mean mind games (sacrifice your son for me)....he probably oughta be locked up!
mrs flipper
Hmm, maybe this is a bit of projection, but at times I think Jehovah is a closet case. Narcicist, homophobic, unable to make up his mind and stick to something, in the heavens with men, making man first and foremost...
I bet if Jehovah just admitted it, and threw his golden heels up in the air and had himself a nice time... I don't know.
i went to the grocery store today - no that's not your fault.. it's 103 degrees today, not bad.
there were three people sitting in the shade in front of the grocery store.
there was a middle aged woman, an older man in a wheelchair, and a thin man whose frozen smile screams "elder.
I think I'm in love with you.
i used to read the old h2o site and i believe they brought up that this place was up......either that or i typed in jws on search.
You know, I remember the old H20 site some have mentioned and it was the first Ex-Jw site I was on. i was about13, 14 or 15 and still kinda believing but scared because something was not right with me but I didn't want to admit what it was....
So anyways, i was a total JW apologist and i posted something about all those mean people saying horrible things about the amazing witnesses, and how they were just bitter people that needed Jehovah.
LOL. Yeah, they tore me a new one.
Well anyways, i've been to this site a number of times and would read topics in the Bible Research thread, but I figured they were just "wrong" though the truth was they were waaay over my head and I was comfortable with the WTS copy&paste version of reality and the bible. I was on Thoms board for a while, but that was for folks who had already deal with their drama basically, so i was referred to JWD. its only been within the last year that this site has become a major part of my life. it's like, I HAVE to check it now, even for the silly threads.
they say that our spiritual food is sooo refreshing!
it's "just what we needed"!.
how did you feel after going out in the ministry or after a meeting?.
In the last minutes of field service or a meeting, these days its almost as if i can't breathe until i get in my car and drive away.
I think its a new illness called Bullsh*t-Induced Asthma.
Born again-atheist, I Like that.
Welcome Awakened07!
i just found out about an hour ago.
he wasn't even old enough to drink yet.. to make it even sh*ttier, he had called me a few weeks ago and asked if he could come out here with me but i couldn't do it at the time.
so of course the first thing that comes to mind is if i had done something different it wouldn't have happened.. he was going through the sh*t as i call it, when witnesses go off the deep end and get into everything in the world to stop hurting and they don't even know what is wrong.
I am so sorry WLG. I can't imagine the pain you are going through right now losing your younger sibling. It's easy to say that you can't blame yourself but as you are older one, I understand that sometimes its hard not to. With time I just hope you understand that you were just limited like every other human is, like he was in trying to deal with his pain. You cannot predict the future I hope you can forgive yourself for that because in a time like this people blame themselves for not having that ability. I wish I could reach out and give you a real hug man.
((((WLG))))
