and by that i mean the supreme being or jehovah or jesus or buddah or whatever you might consider to be "god".
Believing in God...
I firt have to define God in the first place and I get stuck wraping my head around that concept, and then wondering if I can believe it, and then wondering what affect it should have on my life.
And I end up without an answer. I don't think you CAn answer it-'its all about faith. I just don't have the faith anymore for the Judeo-christian God/Jehovah. Kinda douche-baggy, but eh you never know my feelings on that might change.
we know there are a lot of "lurkers" here.
they might not have posted yet but they do check this site out.
would you like to express anything to them to help them in any way??
For the Questioning ones out there- and I'm not talking about the truth. You know what you are- it's there and guess what?
You're okay. I wish someone had said that to me but for all those "sexually confused" lurkers out there just know that whatever you are and no matter who you choose to love or be that you are a not a bad or disgusting person and that what you feel may not be normal to those around you but it is not disgusting or bad. People have felt the way you have for centuries.
But you might have to take a harder look at your religion- harder than most I would say. And if your are married or with someone it is best to think about living honestly because-
THIs IS Your Life! Whether you believe in living forever or not, no one deserves to be unhappy or lonely. You think you can't live without the JWs but you can. You can still believe in God or you can choose not to but that comes with time. Thos that will be sad of finding out the truth about you will eventually learn to deal with it. It is not easy everyone on this board knows this, but it is a necessary pain in orde to come into your own truth.
You can be happy and you don't have to be ashamed of yourself. We (I) know that self-hatred and it is bitter but you can get rid of it. Just look and read and continue to read this board and the stories and comment when you feel you are ready.
You are loved. And know that.
we know there are a lot of "lurkers" here.
they might not have posted yet but they do check this site out.
would you like to express anything to them to help them in any way??
... I am so good I made myself cry.
today i was at the dealership.
i was standing next to the service department.
i struck up a conversation with an elderly guy standing there.
"well, when armageddon comes, it'll be all up in your face"
LOLZ I'm sorry I would laughed my ass off if I heard that. 'All up in your face!'
I'm gonna bing back that phrase now...
"Don't make me have be all up in your face, son!" *gets hardcore gangsta*
"That move was really all up in our faces- it was hot!"
"Woah, This WT is sucky and all up in my fae at that" *throws it down*
Sorry, I'm corny I know. Its just... as that crazy asian assassin said in Kill Bill #1, ".....You can do better than that."
I mean, he could have at least mentioned the birds flying down to devour your rotten flesh. Or the fire and Jehovahs RIGHTEOUS ANGAH!
But "all up in your face"?
LOLZ
picking up 5 wt and awakes at your doctor's office and and tossing them in the trash after your appointment.. i tore them up so the garbage man wouldn't decide to become a jehovah's witness.. loosie (of the i didn't burn my bra but tore up mags instead class).
One day I let a magazine fall in a puddle after it rained.
I didn't pick it up either... I let it ther and felt sooo baaaad whilereading that same WT during a meeting. I held it thinking,
"If you only knew what I did to one of your brethren..." and looking around wondering if anybody had saw me drop the WT...
Ah, the nly time when paranoia felt good...
yes, I'm weird I know this.
ive been visiting for some time, but until now havent said much.
i would appreciate some observations on the latest episode between me and my jw mother, like whether this is something i should ignore or try to resolve.. i was dfd at thirteen, five years ago, for being a gay atheist.
i didnt become homeless only because my mother was/is ill with ms, we maintained a just workable relationship so that i could stay and help her look after herself.. the last three years relations became more tense as i began to piece together what had happened since she joined the org when i was about 3. she demanded yesterday to know why, and i let her have it.. i told her how fucking petrified of life i was as a kid, hearing about armageddon and the world.
A gay atheist at 13. I'm 20 and just easing into my gay and agnosticism.
*bows*
I wish I had *known* more about myself and actually liked myelf back then at 13... I wasn't much for thinking, a follower in every since in the truth and around other kids. You gots some balls Matt.
I'm really sorry about your situation and I can't imagine taking are of an ill parent and having to deal with barriers like my sexuality. You are really amazing to put up with that- hell way stronger than me.
I agree with what somebody already stated above; you have to understand that when she says hateful things that its the religion talking. And if its not the religion then at times its her guilt or anger for not havng control over a situation she might blame herself for. so continue to love her but also... try to have a life separate from her as well 'cause that can be poison if you don't have an outlet of some kind.
i know this topic has been touched over, but when i heard a cooky witness saying to another witness..."the faithful & discreet slave tells us to quit wearing perfume and cologne to kh meetings, and that's what we're supposed to do, if they tell us.
we're to obey the fds, and if we wear the perfume we might as well be disobeying jehovah".
i immediately thought of the conversations on this forum about silly attitudes(the overall issue of obeying the fds on something non-scriptural).
You know I remember overhearing a conversation some sister was having with one another about the dress at the Dc and what you cul and could not wear and I will always remember what she said:
"When the Faithful and discreet Says Jump, the only thig that jumps in my mind is how high!" and then she proceeded to laugh. and all I could think was. 'Wow, we are to totaly be under control of these people. and if we're not we are ird food? How dos that make sense?'
Oh well if Poly wants this cracker she can have it. 'Cause it is wearing what it wants....
ALTHOUGH I hae to say that yeah some times the brothers and the sisters pour it on too thick. Like, at times they are at Dcs trying to atract as if it is some sorta hunt that could be on National Geographic.. on the prowl during the lunch break.
And those smells mix. These young brothers have to realize that you do not have to spray the Entire Can of Axe body Spray for one event. and some sisters need to know that perfume is only suppose to be smelled by a select "special" few, not everybody in a 10 foot radius.
And that is all....
you know him, every hall has one.. he really knows fashion.
he hangs out with all the middle aged women at the hall.
his gait, voice and gestures are feminine.. if he were a "wordly" man he'd be a "flamer".. well, here's my question: is he or isn't he?
You know what? Not all of them may turn out gay, but they end up either alcoholics, depressed, and suicidal.
Wow... well, I wonder why when people consider them less than.
But its nice to know that I'd be an depressed/suicidal alcoholic, if I wasn't feenin' for the fellas. Like I lucked out or something!!
*phew*
i couldn't think of any of the gay guys that changeling mentioned in that thread, but there were some seriously tough gals in one of my old halls.
pioneered, never hung out with the other young single types.
they displayed no interest in men, and even the desparate young males would have nothing to do with them.
I was always curious aout the sisters who dcided to reamain single, you know the type, "Jehovah is my husband now!" and would move in with each other for company. usually middle age but also some young sisters who made pioneering their life...
And then they'd start getting cats and stop 'courting' or caring about other men altogether. Not saying that all sisters in the category were gay but...
C'mon, kinda dykey. (and I can say it! but you can't.... it's an "in-group" thing)
you know him, every hall has one.. he really knows fashion.
he hangs out with all the middle aged women at the hall.
his gait, voice and gestures are feminine.. if he were a "wordly" man he'd be a "flamer".. well, here's my question: is he or isn't he?
The JW Cult feminizes boys by denying them traditional male role models, by keeping them isloated from their "worldly" male peers, by denying them the right to date and affirming that it is ok to date, by refusing them to play school sports. They are excluded from 99% of the activities that their other male peers enjoy.
Eh, i don't know. that's like saying that all JW men are gay which is not the case. And thee were a lot of traditional male role models at most the halls I went to. And one or two of them had effeminte sons, but not all. and the ones that did def. put pressure on them to hang out with the guys and play sports with the other JWkids.... I'm sorry but the school sports thing doesnot makes somone gay. because THERE WOULD BE A LOT MORE GAY GUYS.....
Shoot, I wish it were true.
I didn't play sports because I was scared of sucking but I did other guy things and I'm stil ay. And you'd only know or wonder if I was gay because of my interaction w/ girls as its too comfortable and not at all predatory like other guys are. *shrugs* But I dont feel effeminized and let me just say most effeminate men have balls of steel to go through the stuff they do and still try and make the world... fabulous!
*fingersnaps* Just sayin' 'cause even straight guys can attest to not being able to put up with some of the stuff they go through...
BUT on to the point, YES! Every hall has one or two! I was actually thinking of moesting the one in my hall but I fingure he'd snitch son afterwars though.... *sighs* damn guilt trip.
