expatbrit

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Posts by expatbrit

• 
  6

  Bedtime Story

  by expatbrit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me protect the farm.

  the dog thought about it, and agreed that the family could well afford the chickens and that since the wolves did look hungry, it wouldn't be right to deny them food.

  well, the dog went slinking off to his hiding place under the stairs, and the family decided that they would really have to do something, and give up one or two of the golden eggs, to protect the farm.

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  expatbrit

  Craig:

  expat, do you ever suffer from nightmares?

  Only when I think the socialists are letting in the wolves...lol

  Expatbrit
• 
  6

  Bedtime Story

  by expatbrit in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  let me protect the farm.

  the dog thought about it, and agreed that the family could well afford the chickens and that since the wolves did look hungry, it wouldn't be right to deny them food.

  well, the dog went slinking off to his hiding place under the stairs, and the family decided that they would really have to do something, and give up one or two of the golden eggs, to protect the farm.

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  expatbrit

  Once upon a time, there was a farm.
  
  It was a prosperous farm. The farmer and his family worked hard. The buildings and machinery were well maintained, the animals plump, healthy and well-treated, for the farmer and family were not cruel.
  
  But what was most notable about this farm was that it had an amazing goose, a goose that laid golden eggs! No-one knew why the goose had started doing this, one day it had just begun. The goose was nothing special to look at. Indeed, it was a bit dowdy, and like most geese, sometimes it hissed bad-temperedly and waddled around in an ungainly fashion with ruffled feathers.
  
  The golden eggs, on the other hand, were beautiful! They gleamed softly in the firelight, and the family loved to look at them. The eggs were treasured, and the farmer kept them all safely in the farmhouse.
  
  One day the family received some bad news. A pack of wolves had moved into the neighbourhood. These wolves were rapacious; they would hunt an area, not just for food, but for pleasure, killing and killing until there were none left alive, and then they would move on to the next unfortunate place.
  
  The farmer gathered his family together in the kitchen of the farmhouse and they considered what they should do.
  
  "We need to protect the farm" said the farmer's wife.
  
  "Yes, but that'll be expensive" replied the farmer. He looked sadly over at the golden eggs, glinting on top of the sideboard. "Perhaps we should use one or two of the golden eggs so we can afford the necessary things."
  
  The family considered this and agreed that, yes, unfortunately this might be necessary. But when he heard this the dog, who had been hiding under the table, howled in protest.
  
  "No!" He howled. "Don't think like that! If you give up even one of the golden eggs, it will never stop! Soon you'll have used them all and you'll have no golden eggs left at all! Let me protect the farm. I'll guard it and keep us free from the wolves, and we can keep all the golden eggs."
  
  The family, who really loved the golden eggs, and were perhaps a little too distracted by their beauty, allowed themselves to be persuaded that the dog was right. And so they gave the safe-keeping of the farm into his paws. The youngest daughter, who was about as tall as the dog, put her arms around his neck and stared into his brown eyes with her sparkling blue ones and whispered "I know you'll look after us."
  
  So that night, the dog took his place in the farmyard. Look, there he is now, sitting, and staring through the window of the farmhouse at the golden eggs. Why is that slight snarl upon his face, you say? Well, you see, all is not quite as it appears with the dog. Listen to his growling:
  
  "Look at those eggs! That family doesn't appreciate them like I do. They'd give them up just to protect themselves against wolves. And here I am protecting them. I deserve better than they give me. They give me dog food while they eat the best produce from the farm. They give me a basket in the kitchen while they sleep in nice soft beds. Just because I don't work on the farm doesn't mean I shouldn't have everything they do. We should all be equals!"
  
  The wolves were in the farmyard, and one of them crept up behind the dog and heard him muttering.
  
  "Why do you put up with being treated like that?" it asked the dog. "It's fat cats like that family who have forced us to become scavenging wolves. Do you think we want to do all this killing? Listen, because of you, we wont attack this farmhouse, all we'll take is the chickens. That's all we want."
  
  The dog thought about it, and agreed that the family could well afford the chickens and that since the wolves did look hungry, it wouldn't be right to deny them food. And so the wolves broke into the henhouse, and grabbing the terrified chickens between their jaws, they made off with them, enjoying the feeling of the warm blood running onto their tongues.
  
  Next morning, the farmer shouted at the dog: "you said you would protect the farm, and all the chickens are gone!"
  
  The dog defended himself. "They only wanted the chickens because they were hungry. Because of me, they wont attack the farm again and you can keep the golden eggs! You don't appreciate what I've done!"
  
  Well, the dog went slinking off to his hiding place under the stairs, and the family decided that they would really have to do something, and give up one or two of the golden eggs, to protect the farm. But the golden eggs were so beautiful that they decided to give themselves just one more day to look at them.
  
  The dog thought to himself: "The wolf was right. This family are just selfish fat cats. It's because of them that people like the wolves are poor and have to take other people's things to survive. And making me sleep in a basket rather than a bed is like a beating. They abuse me! I'm downtrodden and they want to keep me that way. I want to be free, like the wolves. I bet if the wolves moved into this farmhouse, things would be better and we would all be equal. I know that wolves can be a bit cruel, but they would listen to me, because we all share the canine soul."
  
  Of course, that night the wolves returned to the farmyard, because you know that you can never trust the promises of a wolf. They roved around the buildings, killing animals, and ripping their flesh for the sheer joy of hearing the cries of pain. And finally, they reached the hut where the amazing goose lived. The goose you see, didn't live in the farmhouse. While the family loved the golden eggs so much, they had made the mistake of taking for granted the goose that produced them. And in one second, with a small sound of grinding teeth, the goose was dead.
  
  The next day, the family wandered around the ruined farmyard, and cried in sadness and anger at the destruction. The farmer raced into the farmhouse to get the golden eggs so that now, right this instant, he could spend some of them to protect the farm from complete destruction.
  
  But horror! There were no golden eggs on the sideboard in the kitchen. Without the goose that produced them, the eggs had become worthless. All that remained were fractured empty eggshells crumbling to nothing. The farmer sat upon the stairs in despair, and the cold fingers of hopelessness wrapped themselves around his heart as he stared at his youngest daughter, crying in the yard.
  
  As for the dog, he lied low, and told himself that the family had got what they deserved, and that now they would know what he felt like.
  
  And that night, as the wolves rampaged around the farmyard again, and as the dog crept from his hiding place to raise his paws to the latch and let them into the house, and as the farmer and his family huddled upstairs in terror, the farmer thought to himself "if only I had had the foresight to use some of the golden eggs! If only I had prized the goose that produced them, who would have replaced the golden eggs we spent and laid many more in the future! If only I hadn't been so shortsighted...."
  
  But by then it was much, much too late.
  
  What's that? What happened to the dog? Yes, I know you've always had a soft spot for dogs.
  
  After the dog had opened the front door to the wolves, he ran back under the stairs. As the wolves ransacked the ground floor, and then leapt up the stairs, he comforted himself with thoughts that now he was free. And when the girlish shrieks began from upstairs, he flattened his ears and pretended that he heard nothing, and that those clear blue eyes hadn't really sparkled so much, after all.
  
  And after that things were quite good for the dog, for a while. The wolves treated him as one of them. He got to eat the farmer's food, and sleep in the nice soft bed that had previously belonged to the farmer's youngest daughter.
  
  But soon the food cupboards were empty, the beds were hopelessly soiled, and the farmhouse began to fall into disrepair. When that happened, the wolves gathered in the kitchen and began to make plans for attacking the next farm.
  
  "But", protested the dog, "I thought that we could all live here happily, as equals. Everyone could contribute equally, and receive the things they need! We could all be happy and content!"
  
  The wolves looked at him and laughed. "You pretended to be a wolf" they shouted, "but after all, you are nothing but a dog!" And with that they set upon him, and ripped him limb from limb.
  
  See, over there in the corner is his head where they threw it. Next to it, one of the amused wolves has written the dog's name in his own blood. It's the name given to the dog by the farmer's youngest daughter, after she had watched him being born in the warmth of the farmhouse kitchen.
  
  "Lucky".
  
  THE END.
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  203

  Poll suggests world hostile to US

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. current

  an interesting read:.

  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2994924.stm.

  some key bits:.

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  expatbrit

  What an enormous waste of time.

  Expatbrit
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  203

  Poll suggests world hostile to US

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. current

  an interesting read:.

  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2994924.stm.

  some key bits:.

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  expatbrit

  How do I become a canadian?

  Sorry, you have to be Chinese first. Expatbrit
• 
  203

  Poll suggests world hostile to US

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. current

  an interesting read:.

  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2994924.stm.

  some key bits:.

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  expatbrit

  This post has been awarded the JWD Most Consistently Even Use of Vowels and Consonant's While Bastardizing a Germanic Language award

  Grazi! Multo bene!

  In accepting this award, I would just like to say that we live in fictitious times, with fictitious protests and fictitious polls. And if you have both the Pope and the Dixie Chicks against you, then you're obviously not a fraudulent maker of fictitious documentaries.

  And now the ACLU will help me into the trunk of my limo. Goodnight and Chomsky bless!

  Expatbrit
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  2

  Disrepect....Respect....This is Sounding like an Aretha Franklin Song...

  by teenyuck in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  in yesterday's newspaper, the columbus dispatch, there was a front page story about death rates of young men in the

  area.

  young men are being murdered, by each other, at an alarming rate.

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  expatbrit

  Teenyuck:

  I was about to compose a reply that would have been the very model of respectin'.

  However, you are American, and I notice from your profile picture that you wear cosmetics. Not only that, but you have a hairstyle. I can only conclude from this that you are a NAZI, plotting with the rest of the NAZI AMERICAN JEW-LOVERS to INVADE Canada, set up lots of SALONS and MANICURE PARLOURS cunningly disguised as CONCENTRATION CAMPS, and forcibly wash our hair with ORGANIC EXTRACTS whilst making us eat GEFILTE FISH.

  Consequently, I think I'll be disrespectin' you after all.

  Best regards,

  Expatbrit
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  203

  Poll suggests world hostile to US

  by Simon in

  1. social
  2. current

  an interesting read:.

  http://news.bbc.co.uk/1/hi/world/americas/2994924.stm.

  some key bits:.

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  expatbrit

  Curiously enough, a recently unearthed poll taken in Germany in 1942 suggests that at the time, Winston Churchill was considered more dangerous than the Black Death. Erwin von Kleinetestes, who conducted the poll, reported that eight hundred and twenty two members of the SS were interogated, and Churchill was rated as "one scary schweinhund!"

  Over half reckoned that by sheltering Jews in Britain, Churchill was "just doing what the Zionist untermenschen want", and a stunning eighty percent agreed that they worried more about Winston Churchill than splitting the crotch of their lederhosen whilst goosestepping up the Champs Elysees.

  A balanced attitude was shown by respondees, though, who generally agreed that Churchill would have made a jolly good German Nazi, if only he'd been (a) German, and (b) a Nazi. This shows that the SS was not anti-Churchill, as some would have it.

  The poll has a margin of error of plus or minus 100%, depending on how likely it was that the whole thing was a propaganda ploy by Himmler.

  Expatbrit
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  29

  New US Constitution

  by Francois in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  can't find the original post, so here it is again: .

  "we, the sensible people of the united states, in an attempt to help everyone get along, restore some semblance of justice, avoid any more riots, keep our nation safe, promote positive behavior, and secure the blessings of debt free liberty to ourselves and our great-great-great- grandchildren, hereby try one more time to ordain and establish some common sense guidelines for the terminally whiny, guilt-ridden, delusional and other liberal bed-wetters.

  we hold these truths to be self-evident: that a whole lot of people are confused by the bill of rights and are so dim that they require a bill of no rights.

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  expatbrit

  You do not have the right to physically harm other people. If you kidnap, rape, intentionally maim, or kill someone, don't be surprised if the rest of us want to see you fry in the electric chair. (Yeah!)

  Curiously enough, according to Hobbes you do have the right to do those things, simply because you can do those things.

  Fortunately, most of us give up those rights because we recognise that it is in the collective self-interest to do so, and that is what the Government is for, to enforce this collective agreement, amongst others.

  Which is why without Government enforcement, people relapse back to their natural state of brute self-interest, and begin to reassert all those unpleasant rights.

  No wonder people usually prefer Locke....lol

  Expatbrit
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  7

  ulterior motives?

  by free will in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  so, i've done the fade.

  i've had no contact for about 2 and 1/2 months or so.

  today, (fathers day) a couple with their children came by my house.

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  expatbrit

  Free Will:

  The Golden Rule when dealing with elders: say nothing, give no information. If at all possible have no contact whatsoever. Remember, anything you say WILL be used against you in kangaroo court.

  Expatbrit
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  7

  For the English experts...

  by berylblue in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  ...no, not experts on the beloved brits here..... please help me out.

  can't find a good usage site, and i would like to know the prefered usage for :.

  assure.

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  expatbrit

  Beryl:

  Please assure us that you will ensure that your English is insured against error.

  Expatbrit