FourMs

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Posts by FourMs

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  19

  Is this normal?

  by FourMs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after i came to terms with my decision to leave the org, i suddenly didnt want to anything to do with god.

  its been several months and i still dont want to hear people talk about whether there is a god or not.

  or when people say that they thank god for this and that.

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  FourMs

  I got to wonder if you've given up on god why wonder why you worry about "normal"

  IP_SEC: I think it was maybe more the “abandonment” issue – leaving behind everything I ever knew. I think that is what I was wondering about as far as being “normal”. The whole thing on god, well, I find myself leaning towards being an atheist. I just wasn’t so sure how that could be and wondered if anyone else made such a drastic decision…

  (btw – it’s FourMs, not “Four me”… but that’s ok, people get my real name mixed up all the time so I’m used to it.)

  Thanks everyone for all the input. Have a great day...

  FourMs
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  19

  Is this normal?

  by FourMs in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  after i came to terms with my decision to leave the org, i suddenly didnt want to anything to do with god.

  its been several months and i still dont want to hear people talk about whether there is a god or not.

  or when people say that they thank god for this and that.

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  FourMs

  After I came to terms with my decision to leave the org, I suddenly didn’t want to anything to do with god. It’s been several months and I still don’t want to hear people talk about whether there is a god or not. Or when people say that they “thank god” for this and that. It makes me cringe.
  
  Is that normal to abandon what I have been taught all my life? It’s harped on so much to “trust in god” and blah blah blah when you're in the witnesses. You know the whole deal with that. So why is it that I just don’t want to hear anything about it?

  Also, why is it that my decision was so final? I had been thinking about it for probably 6 months as to what I should do. When I finally made up my mind that I was just going to leave, I immediately threw everything out that had to do with the witnesses. Like I’ve said in other posts, I am not angry or bitter, I had a great upbringing and would not have met my husband if we both were not witnesses at the time.

  I just wondered if anyone else went through this.

  Thanks for taking the time to read…

  FourMs
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  28

  Percentage of JW's that are undercover?

  by flipper in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  what do you think?

  it seems like a lot are there so they won't lose family and friends - are in good standing but don't actually believe.

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  FourMs

  I can admit to that behavior. I know for the last long while I was in it to please my parents. Even living far from them, I still felt like I had to put on a good christian face and update them with my “spiritual” news. That was the old me. Still haven’t updated them on my current status. I will tell when they ask.

  If you really sit and analyze other people’s lives (ones who are close to you), often you’ll come to the conclusion that they are probably afraid to do anything else but stay in the org. The fear of what might happen to them has such a strong hold on them.

  FourMs
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  24

  ANYTHING EXCITING EVER HAPPENED ON THE DOORS?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any takers?

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  FourMs

  anewme: Thanks a bunch - I have so much to "tell" these days. I feel like I've been out of the loop of adult company these days, having kids and all. Anyways, thanks again and I wanted to tell you that your thread was great the other day and it was nice of you to go back and acknowledge people's stories.

  TTYL

  FourMs
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  24

  ANYTHING EXCITING EVER HAPPENED ON THE DOORS?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any takers?

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  FourMs

  I used to feel faint often when I was a teenager. The feeling would creep up on me while I was out in service. A few times I fainted at people's doors. I remember one time waking up inside this guys house on his couch. At least my sister was there, I don't remember getting to the couch but the man was trying to make me drink a glass of orange juice.

  Another time happened at a seniors home with my best friend while out in service. It was really hot and an old lady was trying to give me a glass of warm water that smelt like it came from the toilet. Like that's going to revive me...

  Anyways, I pioneered for 5 years and had lots of weird things happen, so I'm sure I'll think of more to post.

  FourMs
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  24

  ANYTHING EXCITING EVER HAPPENED ON THE DOORS?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any takers?

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  FourMs

  When I was in my early teens, my best friend and I were always trying to get out of doing doors. If we were together (which we always were) we used to just knock on the brick or right beside the door where no one inside would here it. We would also skip the houses where the people were outside, and come back saying we didn't find anyone...

  FourMs
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  24

  ANYTHING EXCITING EVER HAPPENED ON THE DOORS?

  by badboy in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  any takers?

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  FourMs

  Once while out in service with a pioneer, we were talking to a man who was outside gardening. The pioneer took a flower in her hand and in wanting to strike up a conversation about his flowers, she sniffed and the petal went up her nose. She choked a bit and continued on...

  I thought it was funny and couldn't keep from laughing as they spoke...

  FourMs
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  30

  Describe Your Emotion Involving The Witnesses

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  are you angry?

  dissapointed?

  saddened?

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  FourMs

  I feel bad for others both in and here in the real world. For the ones that are in, I feel they are closed minded only because of what they are told. The fear instilled in them is very strong and hard to break free from. We were taught about “fear of man” that really means to fear the org.

  As far as the people in the world that have surrounded me while I was in, I feel bad for how I treated people. I have always been a kind person, but being told that worldly people are beneath us, I always tended to push people away. I was scared to get too close. These days I try hard to get together with neighbors and I put myself out there, making sure neighbors know that if they need anything, they can call on me.

  On the whole, I am not bitter. I was raised in the org as a fourth generation witness, so it was all my family knew for a long, long time. I can only look forward with happiness that I will give my kids a great future in letting them choose for themselves.

  FourMs
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  30

  An introduction

  by Toshiro Mifune in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  where to begin?

  i hope this will serve as my introduction to this group.

  (hope im in the right section.

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  FourMs

  As many have stated, you are not alone. I was a fourth generation JW and have just recently left. It was so engrained in me that when my husband left the org 4 years ago I was so upset and thought that we could never live a “normal” life. Now, all this time later, I realized that I was in it just to please other people. Especially the last few years. Even though living far away from family, I still felt like I needed to please them and was so stressed out that I couldn’t hardly function as a wife and mother.

  Being out just these past few months I have realized that life is good on the outside. I have no stress and I am putting myself out there to be more social with neighbors and people in general. As you know, we were told to keep our distance with people of the “world”. What a load of crap.

  I know that I am considered a disappointment and embarrassment to my family, but being true to yourself feels so much better. I know with us life seems to go so much smoother. And as my sister would say, “that’s just Satan being the angel of light trying to make you see that the world is good”. How does she explain my stress free world and my feeling of weight being lifted? My physical health is so much better just in these last few months. They can’t explain when physical things get better.

  Anyways, there is hope. For me, I just try not to think about what’s gone on in the past. I keep positive knowing that I am giving my kids a better future. I’m still “new” to the outside, but I feel like I belong here more than I ever felt like I belonged anywhere in my life. I don’t regret my upbringing, as I had a great childhood. I love my parents and siblings very much. But this is the new and improved me.

  Take care and looking forward to your future posts.

  FourMs
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  29

  Were You Looked Down In The Hall Because Of Age, Gender, Race, $$$, Etc????

  by minimus in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  were you discriminated against for any reason in the "christian congregation"?

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  FourMs

  I felt a little discriminated against because of being a “spiritual” single parent. Before my husband had left the org, we had many friends in the witnesses and kept pretty busy with invites out and having people over. Once he left, I felt very left out of our circle of friends. There were so many occasions that I would hear about only after the fact and realize I wasn’t invited to them. Which was weird because we were part of everything.

  So I thought that in giving people the benefit of the doubt, I figured it was because it was an uncomfortable situation for others and they weren’t sure what to say to me anymore. BUT, we moved out of the country and when was going to mtgs here, I realized after a short time that it was all the same. Never invited anywhere. People were nice to me at the hall, but it only went so far. I lasted 2 years here.

  Don’t you think they would try harder to encourage ones in that situation? I guess they don’t really practice what they preach after all. They won’t be recognized for their love as the only true religion, they have no love!

  FourMs