Oompa, hope you take the advice here, let us know what you decide to do, we care to know the outcome! (Be solution oriented, it seems you are stuck in a rut and something's gotta give, dear sir.)
Rachel
GoddessRachel
JoinedPosts by GoddessRachel
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43
how hard is it to move on?...lose everyone?...start new???
by oompa ini have already lost nearly all my friends....maybe just a handful will even be social........but i so hate to lose my mom and dad and my jw son.....one is df......so he still shows that he loves me.....but damm........i so hate to lose the little bit of fam i have left.......is that normal?......stupid question.....i guess i know from my time here....i so hate these guys that can take them away.....oompa.
i know a bunch of you have done it.....just please help me through it...........
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50
Super serious question
by 5thGeneration inplease no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
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GoddessRachel
Hey 5th, like purps, I moved too, across the country, and it has been the absolute best thing I could have ever done for my life. A fresh start, peace of mind, blissful anonymity when I see Jehovah's Witnesses in the area who have no idea I have any history with their organization! You should give it some thought! Being able to truly live your life is worth the cost!
Hang in there, we love you; and like Baba said we are a weird online family, but the fact that we are all going through the same kinds of peculiar things thanks to the WT organization means we have an understanding of one another that others do not.
x,
Rachel
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How To Be Dead When You're Not
by Hopscotch instep 1: get dragged into jws by your parents when you are 5 years old.
step 2: get baptized in 1975 when you are 16 because armageddon is coming and you don't want to die.
step 3: continue being brainwashed and mind controlled for the next 30 years because you don't want to die at armageddon.
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GoddessRachel
Me too, LouBelle, me too! It's good to be free, with the pain and all.
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43
how hard is it to move on?...lose everyone?...start new???
by oompa ini have already lost nearly all my friends....maybe just a handful will even be social........but i so hate to lose my mom and dad and my jw son.....one is df......so he still shows that he loves me.....but damm........i so hate to lose the little bit of fam i have left.......is that normal?......stupid question.....i guess i know from my time here....i so hate these guys that can take them away.....oompa.
i know a bunch of you have done it.....just please help me through it...........
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GoddessRachel
Of course it might be not completely fair for me to say this, but I cannot help but wonder what kind of marriage it is if you have to lie to your wife. I would not consider that a happy marriage.
I know people have to lie to keep the peace when it comes to JW stuff, but it sounds like, based on some of the other posters, that you have already told your wife how you feel.
Sure, she will be sad, but I would think the both of you will be much sadder if you continue to live a lie. I would think if it were me, I would want to know how my husband truly feels.
Unless she is a super crappy wife (sorry to say that but if you do not care about the feelings of your husband then you are a crappy wife).
In which case why would you want to preserve that relationship?
I started all over and my current family, my real family, is totally different from my original family. It was the scariest thing I did to put my trust in new people when I was so deeply betrayed by the people who I believed would always be there for me. But the blessings have been tremendous and ongoing. It is so totally worth it, in the end.
In addition, I have an excellent relationship with my sister, who has also left; a pretty good one with my brother, who is disfellowshipped (I am faded and my sister never got baptized). I have another sister who basically shuns me though time has gone a long way to heal the bad feelings between us, in addition to my apologizing for having hurt her (the key words were "I am sorry I have hurt you," NOT "I am sorry I did something wrong." Because I did not do anything wrong, and we here who know the truth about The Truth know that!). I can call her and she will talk to me. She never calls me. But I am basically accepting of that, except for an occasional bad time or day about it here and there. I just have my cry and move on with the acceptance thing. It is human nature to miss the ones you love, but if you have to be someone you are not simply to get their love than it is simply not worth it, in my opinion.
My mom and dad hardly call me - we live very far away from each other and I visit them about once a year but they do not visit me. They said they will visit me when I get married (though they will not be at the wedding). I can call them whenever I want though it is better if I do not call more than once a week.
Waffles, I know how you feel. It has been three years for me and I am finally seeing the light on the other side of the tunnel. You can get to a much better place. The only life worth living is an authentic one!
Oompa, be strong, be a man. You can do this.
~Rachel
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16
How To Be Dead When You're Not
by Hopscotch instep 1: get dragged into jws by your parents when you are 5 years old.
step 2: get baptized in 1975 when you are 16 because armageddon is coming and you don't want to die.
step 3: continue being brainwashed and mind controlled for the next 30 years because you don't want to die at armageddon.
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GoddessRachel
Thanks for the info, Heaven!
Hopscotch, you are right! The best revenge is to live your life!
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Goddess Roll Call: LADIES, Show Your Inner Goddess, Stand Proud Say It Loud!
by GoddessRachel inmy username is goddessrachel.
because i believe we are all gods and goddesses.
after all aren't we made in god's image?.
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GoddessRachel
A true god builds up others; a mere human breaks down his fellow man. Something to think about, JD.
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why do elders ask such personal questions when deciding whether to disfellowship
by looloo ina friend of mine was asked if she had become "moist" along with had penetration actually taken place , why is that necassary to ask along with did you fondle breasts etc surley they could keep it short and ask if the "deed " was done , yes or no ?
why all the other questions ?
she was only 19 with no experiance of life and sex and was so embaressed she could not answer and was disfellowshipped for being "cocky" any ideas ?.
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GoddessRachel
I had the exact same experience when I was 19 and facing a JC. I viewed those men as my uncles and grandfather. It was mortifying the questions they asked. I was so naive I never saw it coming. The best way I can describe it is I felt mentally molested by them.
I was told later it was because my ex-fiance and I had never had vaginal intercourse so they needed to determine if it really was a disfellowshipping offense. Personally I think they could have determined that by the length of time we were doing it and keeping it a secret. I don't think they needed to ask if we brought each other to orgasm, how many times, what position I performed oral sex in, or if he used his fingers inside of me the same time he had his tongue on me. I seriously just don't think any of that was important at all.
It was the beginning of the end for me!
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50
Super serious question
by 5thGeneration inplease no sarcastic crap from mean members.. i had a family member kill herself over being raised by a c.o.
who told her that it ruined their life and that she was a mistake.. i have a 10 page report from a psychiatrist back, who was also a jw, in the eighties that is pretty incredible.. now, i was also born jw with a 100 year "truth" heritage to cause me the same guilt.. and it may be drivng me the same way.
i feel the same way my aunt felt.
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GoddessRachel
Yeah, seriously, I wish we would hear from him. Is anyone in touch with him?
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72
Goddess Roll Call: LADIES, Show Your Inner Goddess, Stand Proud Say It Loud!
by GoddessRachel inmy username is goddessrachel.
because i believe we are all gods and goddesses.
after all aren't we made in god's image?.
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GoddessRachel
Mindmelda, your sense of humor is fabulous: a serious sign of a true goddess!
Tired of the Hypocrisy, you are a god for being so good to your woman.
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thinking of writing a book this summer
by John Doe inafter brainstorming a couple hours, i'm thinking of writing a book about a man with a wife and two kids.
wife and possibly two kids get into accident and become permanently disabled, wife braindead.
man, who's had a crush on wife's friend, becomes torn between being faithful to his wife and moving on with her friend, and the book centers on his search for answers that are not there.
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GoddessRachel
I meant how are you going to write a book? LOL.
Uh, let me think here...
Are you going to write a chapter a day? Are you going to just write lots of little sections and then lace them altogether later? (I.e. short stories on a theme)
Obviously you do not know, because you said you did not know. But that is what I meant, I guess.
Determining your productive time of day is good.
Using Microsoft Word is useful - that is what I do.
Writing every day is good.
I read a book about how to write a book - there are lots of them actually - and it said everybody writes sh*tty first drafts - just get it down. I thought that was some good advice. :-)
GOOD LUCK!
I am just interested because I am figuring out for myself how to do this. Just thought I would pick your brain since you started a thread about it.