Posts by lovebug

26

Freedom

by sweet pea in

what a rollercoaster the last couple of days has been.

having been prompted gently and lovingly by husband 'besty' i have examined my faith, sorry the organisation, and finally realised that he has been right all along in his reservations.

i feel all sorts of emotions, mainly happiness at finally feeling free - no more meetings (i never could see why we had to attend 3 a week and always felt stressed about taking the babies along when they should be in bed!

lovebug

Hi,

23

Personal Revelation

by Briguy in

sorry i do not post much but i do not have much original things to share because everyone here seems to cover it all.

i have had something strike very close to home and i thought i might share it incase someone out there might be thinking the same thing and is trying to put their finger on it.

i should give a small history on it to set it up.. growing up in the truth i was a model young man.

lovebug

Hi,

I read your story and thought of my own dealings with being a Witness, as I type I feel guilt for speaking against Jehovah. Although, I have had the worst experiences with the Congregations and their elders.It's not God himself that I am upset with. I appreciated your comments because you seem to have a good heart and have just been treated badly. Here's my story if you would like to listen....

My Mother became a Witness when I was 5 years old, my Father had died when I was 13 Months old so it was just me, my Mother and GrandMother as a family. My earliest memory of what it was going to be like as a Witness was when I was in first grade and my Teacher gave me a little book for a Christmas present, I kindly told her that I could not except it. She had wrapped it in red paper with Polka dots so that it didnt have to be a "Christmas Present."...just a gift because she liked me. When I got home I was afraid to show my Mom the present, she found it and beat me pretty bad and told me that by taking the book it was like slapping Jehovah in the face. The next day she screamed at my Teacher for having given me the book. I didnt know why I didnt celebrate Holidays or Salute the flag, so when kids would ask me why I had to go the office when they had their Christmas partys all I could say was "Because my Mom says that it's against our religion. Funny thing is I dont remember ever choosing this as my path...My Mom would read me horrible story's of torture and persicussion from the year book. She would tell me that if I ever get off the bus and she is not there, it could be because she is being persicuted for her faith. This was in 75, I was now 7. My Mom beat me for watching Bewitched with my Grandmother one day...she didnt allow me to see my Gram for a very long time.She beat me allot,I have lost teeth,hit in the face with the bible(At the kingdom hall) and a radio smashed over my head. As the years went on I became a troubled teenager, I was disfelowshipped at the age of 14, even though I had never been baptized. I still had to go the meetings.....two hours on Sunday, one hour on Tuesday, two hours Thursday night. I had to sit there, none of my friends could speak a word to me, ocasionally they would be able to sneak a smile in. I would go home and try to remember what the smile had looked like so that I could replay it in my mind and hold onto the fact that maybe my best friends still thought I was a nice person. I didnt have friends in school because I wasnt allowed to have outside association. I didnt stop loving God but started to Hate the organization and their self righteous ways, who are they to claim that there decisions are guided by Gods Holy spirit??? My other GrandMother, on my Fathers side wasnt allowed to visit too often because my Mom thought that she was demonized,I could not take things that she would give to me because her things might be demon possessed. I was always a bit afraid of her, even though it wasnt until years later when I stood by her death bed that a realised that she was a beautiful and caring GrandMother that lived a very lonely life with out me in it. My Other Grand Mother that had been faithfully attending meetings was now at this late point in her life taking the "truth' seriously. She wanted to be baptized at the ripe old age of 76, she studied and prayed faithfully and asked the elders if she could get baptized. They said that until she gave up seeing my GrandFather( They had dated for 53 years, yet never married and lived seperatly)That she wouldnt be able to get baptized because it didnt look right that she go over to my GrandFathers house with-out a chapperone. The person that she was studying with contacted the "Society", They wrote back saying that unfortunaltly her devotion to Jehovah must come first and that the only way that she could be accepted as a Witness is if she gave up seeing my GrandFather completley...I watched my GrandMother cry, she thought that now she wouldnt make it into the new system now,,,, the day that she died my Mom was yelling at her for being a burden on the family. I loved my Gram, she was my protector.

Now here it is 2007, My Brother Ben who was also abused by my Mom and the organization takes his little boy to the meetings. My Mom says that Ben doesnt know how to control his son so she brings his 2 year old into the back and slaps his mouth when he cant sit still at the meetings for 2 hours on Sunday, 2 Hours on Thursday.She is proud of the fact that she hits him in the mouth not for being bad or disrespectful, but for merly talking and not being quiet.......I lost my right to share my voice and thoughts, I hope he doesnt loose his.Thanks for writing your story, I found that having a say in my own life is a good thing and that I am actually a good person. The only thing that I have kept and wont let go of is Agape....unconditional love. I believe that if God has seen what I have been through and that in my heart I can forgive all the wrong done to me by my Mother and the organization, than maybe I am a good person after all and he will smile at me and I will be remembered.

Sorry this has been so long, please write me back if you want,

Rebecca E-MAIL---- [email protected]