Posts by donnalee

20

i'm new - help me

by donnalee in

i originally began my communications thorugh freeminds which i found thru google - one of the writers for freeminds suggested this forum.

i hope that i will find some ansers thru you.

below are some of the questions that i have.. .

as w/all the other repsonses, i am quite gr8ful for yours. interestingly, when i spoke to him this morning and i saud "when shud I call u because I know that you cannot call me" he replied, "do not assume anything" to which i then asdded - "You are the one who said that you cudn't call me o chose not to call me"

He denied that he had ever said that & i was assuming things. This is when i realized that i AM stronger minded than he and that his thought processes are twisted. He stated "I must be careful. After the elders called me into their office last week they told me that I need to have a clear conscious." Ya know what i think?? i think he doesn't quite know what he's gotten himself into. cud this b true4 many other jws? first u r welcomed, then coerced, then suffocated.

"I think you should cut your losses." is good advice. iI know myself and i know that it will take some time and i'm NOT willing "to give up everything else".

Can you live with limited or no contact from your family and loved ones? NOPE

Please,, cut your losses and move on. THANKS

20

i'm new - help me

by donnalee in

i originally began my communications thorugh freeminds which i found thru google - one of the writers for freeminds suggested this forum.

i hope that i will find some ansers thru you.

below are some of the questions that i have.. .

donnalee

" The only reason a JW would keep up a frriendship with an unbeliever would be with the hope of indoctrinating them. They are kind to you because they are selling the organization to you with smiles and polite conversation" - this is really, really sad for me to hear. not just becasue it affects me, but becasue it is such a false way to be especially for a group of people who claim that they have found the "TRUTH" You replied "You will find out that if you don't eventually become one of them, thinking, dressing, speaking exactly like them then the "friends" you made will show you their true motivaiton. you will be dropped like a hot potato. The only business a witness has with unbelievers is converting them. If you will not be converted then you will be seen as a waste of their time. there is no real love" I have, unfortunately, yet realistically, let my heart rule first and then my logic. Once again I have been duped, but by a whole organization!! this has to be my best record yet! I can "feel" that my b/f had mixed feelings (mainly physical...sexual, i believe), but the organization pushed him forward. i had a nice time visiting w/the group of jws who whom my b/f associates which confuses me. coming onto this supprot forum has helped me tremendously, yet sometimes i feel that i am hopeless. i continue to call him even tho he has made it clear that we CANNOT be a couple. everytime that i call him, i just want him to know that there is a non-jw who thinks about him. is ths so bad? what do u think he thinks of me?? a loser, perhaps? desparate, perhaps?? am i stereotping or being paranoid beleiving thta they are interacting wiht me only for the benefit of helping me to find the "truth"???? " you are absolutely 100% correct. it feels SOOOO good to be 100% correct. thanks. " because it's the only reason they are bothering to talk to you. because it is the sole purpose of their lives as JW's. "does it guarentee their salvation?? do jws have friends who are not jws? " yes, and again, JWs only associate as friends with JWs. i don't have the time to answer the rest, but there are many here who will ;) how do u know all of this?

14

Putting The Kingdom First.....

by Sunspot in

if i had a dollar for all the times i heard this----*i* would be basking in a multimillion $$$ estate in the bahamas.

every jw was told this over and over at every meeting and convention the wts had the doors open for.

what i didn't realize was that jesus words were being twisted yet again by the men who write for the watchtower, as they continually shouted this into their loyal and obedient (tm) followers ears.. yes....jesus said for his followers to put his kingdom first in our lives......he didn't say to put the watchtower first in your lives!!!

donnalee

"What I find really creepy is that all JW's seem to use exactly the same jargon regardless what part of the country they're in. It's like they're programmed. (put in a room with headphones and brainwash them-this is what you'll think-this is what you'll say-don't understand-it's not for you to understand) "

this is so true. my jw b/f started using certain words w/me and when i went to some mtgs, i noticed that his werods were THEIR words! this is not only creepy,but scary......scary for those of us who have been touched in any way by the organization.

30

You have had 3 Bad Relationships in a row.......your next one

by new boy in

will be............ 90% bad 10% good?.

75% bad 25% good?.

50% bad 50% good?.

donnalee

i'm new to all of this and have recently been replaced by the kingdom (u can c my postings under "i'm new - help me"). relationships are not an option. the kind of relationship IS. if the bar is set too low, i wud say that WE, the seekers need to fix ourselves first, ryt?

i know i've joined in l8, but just wanted to give some feedback. NO man or woman shud sleep w/any man or woman within the first three months of a relationship. DON"T DO IT!! if there is one good thing about the kingdom, it is that sex is not particularly promoted. Sex is gr8, but often we have a tendency to let it rule our realtionships.

peace.

donnalee

30

You have had 3 Bad Relationships in a row.......your next one

by new boy in

will be............ 90% bad 10% good?.

75% bad 25% good?.

50% bad 50% good?.

donnalee

smart daughter, your duaghter!!

donnalee

20

i'm new - help me

by donnalee in

i originally began my communications thorugh freeminds which i found thru google - one of the writers for freeminds suggested this forum.

i hope that i will find some ansers thru you.

below are some of the questions that i have.. .

donnalee

to all of u who've respnded - most importantly, thank you. it's obvious that each of u have had unique experiences. to answer a few questions, i'd like to state that going up against any jw is not something that interests me. however, here is a quote from the gentleman who referred me to this ofrum "Love conquers all things, and if this JW really loves you, then his love for you will (over-ride) any expectations of requiring you to become one of Jehovah's Witnesses" how wud u respond 2 this? of the 10 jws that i've met, 3 are married to non-jws & most of their children r not jws i'm already understanding that i, most likely, will have to cut my losses. this doesn't imply that it will be easy. i look 4ward to your support.

"the heart would have no rainbow, if the eyes did not have tears"

gratefully.

donnalee

20

i'm new - help me

by donnalee in

i originally began my communications thorugh freeminds which i found thru google - one of the writers for freeminds suggested this forum.

i hope that i will find some ansers thru you.

below are some of the questions that i have.. .

donnalee

i originally began my communications thorugh freeminds which i found thru google - one of the writers for freeminds suggested this forum. i hope that i will find some ansers thru you. below are some of the questions that i have.

the email below is an email that i had sent on 4/8 in response to a very kind and helpful response with some questions that i had had. the biggest concern that i have is whether or not that i am beoing "fooled". is it fair to say that jws are kind to you becasue they want your fellowship? do congregations exist that except others for their beliefs? i had a wonderful day spent with jws during my boyfriened's baptism on saturday. i even went out with a group of jws after the ceremony. am i stereotping or being paranoid beleiving thta they are interacting wiht me only for the benefit of helping me to find the "truth"???? all 6 of the individuals were funny, enjoyable and kind. why is converting me SO important for them? does it guarentee their salvation?? do jws have friends who are not jws? thanks. i hope to hear from you soon. best regards, donna dear free minds- i'm writing to you again because i have some more questions. the relationship that i began with a 51-year old jw seems to be coming to a close. we are moving closer to becoming just friends - but "friends" in the sense that i am the one to call him. i miss having contact with him and am confused about what has happened to our relationship. (he has stated that he will stay celibate until he marries again. he also stated that he would like to marry another jw - to me this signifies a weakness in his own spirtiuality). another irony - my massage therapist is a jw. how can a fellowship condemn intimacy, but a person who makes a living from touch is a jw? i used some of the tools and references that were suggested to me a month or so ago thru free minds. unfortunately, it was at that point that i think i "lost" him. i tried to use some of the tools, yet i think he felt as if i ws attacking him. now when i call him (once a week) he is quite cordial and we usually talk for an hour or so. i know that every one is different, but might you be able to tell me if his kindness is authentic or is staying friends a spiritual necessity? i'm having an awlful time ltting him go. i'm trying to understand my own feelings on why it is so diffiuclt. i am also 51 years old and it's not easy to find a partner that you can get along with. might it possible for you to guide me through this very difficult period. btw, i have been to 4 "meetings" and i'm in awe of the normalcy of it all. the congregation is well-dressed (VERY well- dressed) and everyone is extremely kind. Comments like "You are welcome here anytime" and "Please come back" were common. Unlike my church (Unitarian Universalists) the congregation was a mix of young and old. please help make me aware of the danger of the Kingdom of Jehovah Witnesses. Is it a cult or just an ambitious fellowship? are there any statistics on the make-up of jws? thank you. i hope that i can continue a dialgue with someone becasue i am confused. best regards, donnalee