problemaddict 2: Please note that the circumstance under which I am advising to lie are very specific. There are elders threatening raven with emotional violence: Coercing families to shun relatives is evil and worst than the majority of the sins JWs preach against.
When I started my fade, I called and met my close relatives and friends and told them exactly what I was going to do. That I did not believe in the teachings of the watchtower and had decided to fade. I don't lie to people I love and respect. The way I saw it, if two of them would've sat before me in a JC to accuse me, twice (appeal JC), than, clearly, I chose the wrong friends and didn't mind not talking to them at all.
In the end, I believe we need to be truthful. Truth generally is the best way. You can walk with your head up on high and not worry about keeping up a web of lies.
However, when I see elders wanting to coerce my loved ones to ignore me based on twisted biblical logic... all of a sudden, I become very creative and say whatever they want to hear. :) And than, as they walk away, I have that feeling where I could spit on the floor and curse at them.