Based on my observations of the past 12 years... there are no black or white, right or wrong absolutes. Each case - each family - is individual and the one who knows ttatt must find the way which is best tailored to their particular situation to helped their loved ones. Finding that right way, or ways, is the hard part.
I know a man who's stuck in it for his wife, children and grandchildren. He's making progress with them, but it's frustrating to the hilt - how he remains sane in what I see as a brave and courageous attempt, is beyond me. He's doing it for love of family, in a way he thinks will best reach them. He has my support. :)
I know another man who 'went out in a blaze of glory' - and it didn't go well. He lost his wife and children, but has fought and won some ensuing battles. He did it for love, too. He loved his wife, but the wt turned her against him... and he loved truth more. Good thing - he was allowed to see his boys, which is not always the case in jw divorces, and over the years his truthfulness has edged them out of the wt, too. But what a harrowing ordeal. He had and still has my support, too. :)
You have to do what you think is best. Don't make excuses to anyone. Ignore peoples' blind opinions. If someone gives you 'friendly advice', but has never walked one step in your shoes - you have no obligation to use or even accept their advice. You have nothing to justify when you're doing it for love - and wanting your family out of this horrible cult is LOVE and nothing but.
And may you have every SUCCESS!
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I had it easy, comparitively, it was just lonely old me decieved by that cult. If my mother or sisters had been witnesses, I'd probably have chosen to stay in long enough to get them out.