whoknows

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Posts by whoknows

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  34

  If Shunning Didn't Exist, Would JW's Exist In Their Current Form?

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in my opinion, this is the crux of the matter where ex jw's are concerned.. so many religions have disagreements with their members.

  but you can disagree, research, question, and leave if that is your wish.

  you may receive some sanction depending on the religion, but no shunning is required in the major faith's and religions of christendom.

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  whoknows

  It's the personal stories that really break my heart. There was a woman and her daughter in my congregation who I have known 33 years. I knew her daughter as a baby. The mom and daughter were very close to our family. We went on vacations together, etc. This girl practically grew up in my house and became the best friend of my daughter. Being a good, obedient daughter, she was baptized at the ripe old age of 14. When she was in her early twenties she met a man at work who she fell in love with. She fought with her emotions over the situation, but eventually love won out. They became engaged, and she stopped attending meetings. When it was discovered that they had moved in together a couple of months before the marriage, she was disfellowshipped. Since then the mom will have NOTHING to do with, has sent her letters back unopened, won't talk on the phone. All they had was each other as family in this world, and now both have nothing. It is too friggin' tragic for words, and both of them cry over the situation, but the mom won't budge, despite the daughter pleading and trying to reason with her.

  When I became inactive she was the first one I called. My conscience bothered me constantly over the years that she was df'd and I didn't reach out to her. Now I am trying to be a sub-mom, and we love each other very much. Btw, this girl does NOTHING df worthy now, has her own business and a great marriage to a wonderful man, and is treated like a leper by her own mother and only family.

  It is like a death, or more accurately murder. A mother has lost her daughter and a daughter her mother.

  This is only one story. There are thousands, I'm sure, equally tragic. The nine old men in brooklyn don't give a Sh*t about people - that is for sure.
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  34

  If Shunning Didn't Exist, Would JW's Exist In Their Current Form?

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in my opinion, this is the crux of the matter where ex jw's are concerned.. so many religions have disagreements with their members.

  but you can disagree, research, question, and leave if that is your wish.

  you may receive some sanction depending on the religion, but no shunning is required in the major faith's and religions of christendom.

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  whoknows

  I love Farkel.

  On the WEtv show "The Secret Lives of Women" in their episode on cults, they interviewd an ex-jw. Brenda has written a book and is in discussions with "Oprah", "Dr. Phil" and "20/20". I think if we could get some of the more tragic stories of shunning on any of those shows, it would be very powerful. I know when I told my employers and others at work about the JW shunning policy, they were fascinated. They sat there with their mouths open. Most people don't know that JWs have this cruel punishment for changing (and using) your mind.
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  34

  If Shunning Didn't Exist, Would JW's Exist In Their Current Form?

  by AllTimeJeff in

  1. watchtower
  2. beliefs

  in my opinion, this is the crux of the matter where ex jw's are concerned.. so many religions have disagreements with their members.

  but you can disagree, research, question, and leave if that is your wish.

  you may receive some sanction depending on the religion, but no shunning is required in the major faith's and religions of christendom.

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  whoknows

  I totally agree with all of the above. I was df'd about a month ago and when it happened, I cried. I'm not sure why, I certainly don't believe one crumb of what they teach anymore, and I had been inactive for two years. Even though all of our friends shunned us from the beginning, I knew that being df'd was irrevocable for me, and possibly we would never again have contact with our best friends unless they leave. As a punishment it is very effective and it works well for them.
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  39

  Besty Unplugged - My Life Story Part VI

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  << part v. .

  part vi the great apostasy sets in.

  if you ever leave the truth or get disfellowshipped thatll be that well be finished.

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  whoknows

  Excellent writing Paul. When I wake up and go online the continuation of your story is the first thing I look for. I truly believe that their extreme shunning policy is going to be the downfall of this cult. It is a cruel and unchristian policy and I have witnessed personally the pain and suffering it has caused to innocent, decent people whose only "sin" is to use their critical thinking skills and simply change their minds and try to leave. As Billy the Ex said, "Cults require human sacrifices".

  The good news is that Sam and Paul have gone on to live happy, free lives with their two beautiful boys. Let's hope that the ones we care about that are still captive will wake up before we lose too much more time with them.

  There are so many that identify with your story. Thank you for taking the time to write it in such an eloquent and entertaining way.
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  31

  Hey...no more lurking...

  by pmgirl in

  1. jw
  2. friends

  hey,.

  this is my first post on this forum after months of reading and lurking on here.

  i'm glad to be able to say that my husband and i finally sent our letter saying we want out and are wait to hear back for a potential jc meeting--that we won't be attending.. we had so many doubts it was impossible for us to continue living the lie.

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  whoknows

  Congratulations on your courage and a new life of freedom from a cult! Glad to have you here. Don't be afraid to post and ask for encouragement when you need it, you will find it here.
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  22

  Besty Unplugged - My Life Story Part V

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  << part iv.

  part v 9 years, 2 shepherding calls and 2 kids.

  sam and i quickly settled into happily married life.

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  whoknows

  Here I am first thing in the a.m. again looking for your next post - and found it! Very well written and entertaining. Do More (with trademark) - love it! And Google maps to locate houses with the holy spirit. Ha! Hmmmm, maybe a divining rod would work. You need a whole lot more than holy spirit to make these books (Daniel, Isaiah -OMG) interesting and educational. I always thought an open bar would help.

  Looking forward to more -
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  7

  why do we bother being ex-JW's

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  "thank you for that.. i'm only 17 and left jws recently after being raised in it.

  hardest thing i've ever done, leaving all my friends and family, so i strongly sympathise with you.

  i feel very lucky to be able to see jws for what it really is, and have the opportunity to start really living my life.

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  whoknows

  This board was the first place that I heard some of the questions that I had silenced in my head all my life being boldly asked out loud. The joy and relief I felt that there were many, many others asking the same questions was tremendous. We all need help getting out of this cult. This board is here to be a moral support to those mustering up the courage to leave. We will probably never know how many people it touches and starts their critical thinking process going. All of the voices add up to one big shout! As Jookbeard said above, it is very well worth the effort for all who spend so much time commenting so articulately and frequently (I've tried - it ain't easy) to those who comment only occasionally. It is all part of the rescue effort, easily available to anyone with a computer.

  That is why we bother - and thanks so much to all who contribute!
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  26

  Besty Unplugged - My Life Story Part IV

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  << part iii.

  part iv how to meet a wife in six weeks.

  i mentioned a while back my dad had a pretty bad accident when he was a kid.

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  whoknows

  Here I am sitting groggy with my first cup of coffee and I am enthralled. This is your best installment ever. I didn't realize the extent of your talent as a writer. You are a regular Frank McCourt! Just loving it. Seems you and Frank have some drinking stories to share! His usually involved crashing some JW wedding or party with a bunch of his rowdy friends and someone winding up spewing in his parent's car. That went over really well. He looks innocent, doesn't he? Hah! There is a proverb that says something to the effect that "no man over the age of 12 is innocent". I believe that one.
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  34

  Besty Unplugged - My Life Story Part II

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  <<part i. i dont recall discussing the great disappointment of 1975 as a family.

  i was only 5 and my older and wiser brother was 8. what i can remember was the muted sense of excitement we both felt in 1977. shortly after elvis died my dad announced we were moving off the island back to the scottish mainland.

  i didnt connect the death of elvis with our big move, and rightly so.

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  whoknows

  Really an interesting read Paul! I've barely had my first cup of coffee I could actually stay focused! The isolation that comes from not being able to associate with "worldlings" and not being allowed to give your all to your love of soccer, the pushing to get baptized to fit in and make everyone happy without having any understanding the of devastating consequences should you change your mind and the discouragement to get a university education, which usually does cripple one for life, all so well expressed here, and so many can relate. So get busy with part III, your public is waiting.
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  40

  Besty Unplugged - My Life Story Part 1

  by besty in

  1. jw
  2. experiences

  my story part 1 where did it all go wrong?.

  hi, my name is paul and im an ex-jehovahs witness.

  by the end of this sorry tale i hope to be an ex-ex-jehovahs witness.

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  whoknows

  Thank you Paul for posting your story. I believe these personal experiences are powerful tools in helping those who are "lurkers" here to realize that the "evil apostates" are real people, intelligent, thoughtful, and who do go on to live happy, productive lives after their being disfellowshipped. Their only sin is questioning the authority of the nine men in Brooklyn. For this sin many are shunned by their families and life long friends for life. It is a hateful policy of the WT society. We are looking forward to more of your very interesting story!

  It was the post of your lovely wife, sweetpea, that actually moved me to make my first post two years ago. There was a little photo of her sitting on a couch holding your second newborn son, and her expressions of the sorrow and pain in her post at losing all of her friends in a matter of weeks because she dared to reveal her doubts about the WT teachings really spoke to me.

  Also powerful in helping everyone to understand what led us to this cult in the first place.

  You are brave people and a wonderful family - looking forward to the next post!

  Barbara