Posts by B_Deserter

I posted this as a reply but I figured I'd just make a new thread as well.

The date went well, very well. She even asked for a second date afterwards. I had a few minor slip-ups, but overall I couldn't have expected a better first date. I made sure to speak softly and quietly, look into her eyes, and listen. Pretty soon, I didn't even have to think about it! It just felt so...normal (in a good way). It felt like, this is what I'm SUPPOSED to be doing. I'm SUPPOSED to be meeting new people, taking ladies out to dinner and to the park and things like that.

I remember an older JW brother telling me that this is what dating used to be like in the JW world. You'd take a girl out to dinner and then next week you'd take someone else. He was flabbergasted that now if you go on one date as a JW you're considered almost engaged. Now I know that dating in the "world" is 1,000,000% better than dating as a dub, there's just no comparison. It's just so much FUN. You don't have to think about marrying the person right away or anything.

I do like this one and am happily anticipating our next date, but I also can't wait to go out with other ladies, too! Man I feel like a kid in a candy store. Now that I know I can be a decent date, all of my inhibitions and worries about inadequacy are gone. With practice I think I can actually become great at it. Now I know why the society forbids dating outside the church. Witness women are generally pretty boring when compared to who's available outside the gates! :-D

6

How I made a WITNESS break the spell he was under, a least temporarily

by What-A-Coincidence in

jw
friends

after telling him my fam.

and i left, i explained to him about the pedophiles, un etc.. like clockwork ... "the society is imperfect" "new light" bla bla.

i said, 'we are told to repeat those lines, and you my friend have done a great job" ... you should have seen his face ... priceless.

B_Deserter

I think if this comes up in one of my conversations, I'll say that being able to use the excuse "new light" and "imperfect men" to excuse all kinds of errors in teaching pretty much makes the concept of having the "truth" meaningless. You could apply those talking points to any church. The truth is the truth, it is unchanging, set in stone. "New light" means that you go from saying "I don't know" to "this is why." It is not an excuse to change doctrines and reverse back to them. If you can do that, you can pretty much say anything and claim you're the "truth."

60

Date tonight

by B_Deserter in

jw
friends

well, i have a date tonight.

predictably, i'm pretty nervous.

does anyone have advice as far as what are good conversation ice breakers and subjects that work well for date talk.

B_Deserter

Okay I just got back from the date. And it went...

I was particularly amazed at how well I kept my cool. I wasn't nervous at all, and made sure to look her in the eyes, keep a soft, low voice, and listen, listen, listen. So to conclude, it was a very good date, a first attempt I can be proud of. It's weird though because back when I was a dub, if a girl would pay attention to me in the least I'd get attached to her. This is way different. I actually felt hardly any of the pressure a witness couple goes through. Having a chaperone there would have totally ruined it. I'm not madly in love with her, but I do enjoy her company and see some potential. I sadly had all this preconceptions about "worldly women." I knew they were wrong, that most ladies are generally pretty cool and not going to haul you back to their bedrooms on the first date, but it was still good to see it for myself. It's very...calming. I feel like I just left one world and entered another, and it feels pretty darn good.

60

Date tonight

by B_Deserter in

jw
friends

well, i have a date tonight.

predictably, i'm pretty nervous.

does anyone have advice as far as what are good conversation ice breakers and subjects that work well for date talk.

B_Deserter

I'll be paying tonight of course. However, if she offers to go dutch, I won't challenge it.

36

Loneliness

by B_Deserter in

jw
friends

i wasn't sure i was ready for it, but i did it anyway...i put out a personal ad.

i've gotten a few responses, but nothing seems promising yet.

i get the feeling that internet dating is more about quantity than quality, but i think that's what i need right now.

B_Deserter

Thanks for the advice Texman. I was just going to talk to her online for awhile, but then I realized that chatting is about the worst way to get to know someone. You can't tell what vocal inflections he/she is using, so it's really hard to determine personality, body language, etc. I asked her out right away so we'd meet in person. If I've never met the person I'm chatting with, they're nothing but words on a screen to me. I've found that people are nothing like how I perceive them online.

60

Date tonight

by B_Deserter in

jw
friends

well, i have a date tonight.

predictably, i'm pretty nervous.

does anyone have advice as far as what are good conversation ice breakers and subjects that work well for date talk.

B_Deserter

Okay guys, I'm all ready. I've got on some fashionable jeans, black Doc Martens, and a nice button-down shirt. Everything I'm wearing was pulled straight from the dryer an hour ago. I'm freshly showered, gargled with mouthwash and brushed my teeth, styled my hair, shaved, and sprayed on some Polo Black. I even popped a few Gas-Ex pills just in case I have some bloating issues. :X We're meeting at a Creole restaurant at 9:15. Wish me luck!

36

Loneliness

by B_Deserter in

jw
friends

i wasn't sure i was ready for it, but i did it anyway...i put out a personal ad.

i've gotten a few responses, but nothing seems promising yet.

i get the feeling that internet dating is more about quantity than quality, but i think that's what i need right now.

B_Deserter

I've heard a lot of bad things about eHarmony. They're famous for not letting you cancel, and will keep billing you even after you request a cancellation.

60

Date tonight

by B_Deserter in

jw
friends

well, i have a date tonight.

predictably, i'm pretty nervous.

does anyone have advice as far as what are good conversation ice breakers and subjects that work well for date talk.

B_Deserter

Oh and I slipped up and told her I'm a former JW. I did it before I posted on here, so sorry :( I was very brief about it though, and I'm definitely not going to bring it up again. I told my scooter riding group, too, but it was relevant. They had a TV News crew covering our group and I told them I need to stay away from cameras but I didn't want them to think I was a fugitive or something. Now that I look back I should have just told them I'm in the Witness-protection program. ;-D Anyway, I haven't brought it up since and I've been assimilating pretty well into the group.