Posts by myah

56

Update: So I've been going to some meetings (and other things)

by WingCommander in

i've been absent from this board from some time, as i've been through alot the past few months.

firstly, my mother passed away after complications from her surgery.

so i've lost my entire family since 1999. i'm an only child.

myah

Lets be real for a minute and think about that comment. If you were refused to date that was your parents rule, that is not a JW rule nor a bible inspired law. It is not encouraged to date for the sake of dating right? If you are dating it should be with the intention of marriage. I now know that when you 'date' and dont 'put out' , it is highly unlikely that you will move onto the next level... out here in the real world that is the basic way it works. The general fear is yes, that their little babies will be having babies and getting VD and basically saying that 'yes' its ok to fornicate and so on.

But whats wrong with that? If your view is that premarital sex is against gods law - which it is according to anyone who believes in the basis morals of the bible - any bible. If you are preaching not to have sex before marriage and everyones having sex before marriage and you say your diff then everyone else because practice what you preach... then dont have sex before marriage or else you are just like everyone else. It's not harmful to stay away from some of the things that others are doing.

I think about the commercial of the guy whos like... 'I have genital herpes' and his gurl is like ' and I dont'... together ' we want to keep it that way'. I just laugh because I think it's funny. I would stop doing it with the guy who has genital herpes. Not because I'm a cold hearted bitch, but because, in my mind I'd be like thats a constant memory of your slut ridden past. 'yuck'. If I had a major VD and was not married I'd probably call it a day and be done with sex and relationships. People are so nonchalant about these things and it scares me for my kids, I can imagine in 10 yrs when my daughter is 17. I dont want to.

It is not a rule or doctrine not to date - JW's do not have all pre arranged marriages, but they do date, marry and have kids just like 'normal' people.

56

Update: So I've been going to some meetings (and other things)

by WingCommander in

i've been absent from this board from some time, as i've been through alot the past few months.

firstly, my mother passed away after complications from her surgery.

so i've lost my entire family since 1999. i'm an only child.

myah

All I want to get across is that there is nothing scary about it. Theres a lot that I wish my mom would have done different as a parent, like divorced my dad sooner and not been afraid to do that. He was just mean to her. If I were to suddenly die tomorrow, I would prefer all 3 of my children go and be raised by my mom rather then my husband or his family. This is because she is the only one I would trust to take care of them and protect them. Ive heard too many horror stories about child molestation and see too much drug abuse on my husbands side to even consider that. Why because I have the best interest of my children at heart. Maybe I am less bitter, I went to many different congregations, in diff states, with diff members. Why my experience was so diff? I dont know, I dont believe that my experience was out of the ordinary. My sis is the same.

A JW came to her house last week in CA, she did not hear, she was in the shower or something. One of her brand new neighbors, an-ex JW said 'I saw those JW's bothering you', she was irritated for my sis. My sis response was 'Haha, they dont bother me at all'. Of course they got to talking and they found out that when we were babies we all went to the same cong in fl and each called their mom to let them know what a small world it is.

Get this too, my bro, is a cop so he carries a peice, right? He left for the military at the age of 18 and served his 4 years... he is in the middle of a divorce, guess what else, my mother, a very respected cong member, and her husband are staying at his house for a week this summer. And they are excited about it... even asked if me and we could afford to go.

My mom is JW for like 37 years now. Nothing is cultish or dangerous about anything she does or says... she is not forced around my the GB nor does she 'break their laws'.
Where do you guys get this stuff.

56

Update: So I've been going to some meetings (and other things)

by WingCommander in

i've been absent from this board from some time, as i've been through alot the past few months.

firstly, my mother passed away after complications from her surgery.

so i've lost my entire family since 1999. i'm an only child.

myah

Smellsgood,

What would you catagorize as a cult? To call a religion a cult has not always had a neg connotation... By the original text book dictionary, almost any form of "Organized Religion" can be catagorized as a CULT. The neg connotations came around when groups like "The Family", Manson & Jim Jones came around and made it a very scary thing.

Otherwise CULT would indicate a certain devotion to a diety or a god. If it is non-catholic, back in the day, it was a cult or a fad. An established demonination cannot be called a CULT. Thats like calling your husband an ASS when your heated with him.

I like the quote ' a cult is that other church down the street '. Simple, but the general opinion.

56

Update: So I've been going to some meetings (and other things)

by WingCommander in

i've been absent from this board from some time, as i've been through alot the past few months.

firstly, my mother passed away after complications from her surgery.

so i've lost my entire family since 1999. i'm an only child.

myah

It sounds like many of you have had bad experiences... I am by no means a JW. If anything I was well influenced and a better mother/ person because of it. I am not worried about my daughter or my boys being exposed to it as I am not opposed to them being exposed to other religions. I want them to understand all and not be prejudiced by anyone. If my children grow up and become whatever... I will love them the same. I will not be happy of my kids get pregnant young or decide to run the street like some thugs, but then again who wouldnt. Even if they did, I would still love my kids as my mother continued to love and support me through all my trials and errors.

Like I said before, something really bad must have happen to a lot on this site to have such bitter attitudes to a whole group of people... Honestly, the hardest part of being a JW for me was people outside of the religion judging JW's as odd and wierd. That was harder on me than anything else. It has had a large influence on the person that I am today and that's not a bad thing. I dont know what else to say at this point.

42

Has money taken over...

by emptywords in

i have found that at every assembly being circuit, district or one day, they are always, always in deficit, why is this, at the last circuit assembly they said that it cost 6,000 for electicity for two days, and that to me was just embarrassing, i asked the sister next to me if what i heard was correct, and yes she said in debt for the weekend because of electricity.. another thing is the soliciting of property from older ones, i know that they do this with anyone that has property (especially older ones that have no heirs).

to leave their assets to the wts, because the governments will take it if you die.

but also what they can leave to the wts would be appreciated if they have family heirs left, i have seen this soliciting in the wt mags on occastions.. what is you're experience if any on this.. cheers.

myah

Further, to insinuate that JW's would predatorily attack older ones for their loot is ridiculous... you make it sound as though it there motive for being caring. How paranoid is that. I have had more kindness extended to me than ever when there is nothing I can give in return. I'm sure some people make sizeable and generous donations out of the kindness of their hearts. I helped to take care of a older JW couple while their own childen lived in WA and the elderly couple lived in AZ, they could not be left alone so all of the brothers and sisters took shifts taking care of both husband and wife for almost a year. Of course their children inherited the home and the personal effects left behind when they died. It was always a warm memory the time that was spent with them, even when her hubby became really bad with the Altheimers (however you spell it). It felt good to help.

42

Has money taken over...

by emptywords in

i have found that at every assembly being circuit, district or one day, they are always, always in deficit, why is this, at the last circuit assembly they said that it cost 6,000 for electicity for two days, and that to me was just embarrassing, i asked the sister next to me if what i heard was correct, and yes she said in debt for the weekend because of electricity.. another thing is the soliciting of property from older ones, i know that they do this with anyone that has property (especially older ones that have no heirs).

to leave their assets to the wts, because the governments will take it if you die.

but also what they can leave to the wts would be appreciated if they have family heirs left, i have seen this soliciting in the wt mags on occastions.. what is you're experience if any on this.. cheers.

myah

When I was growing up, the mormon kids w/ highschool summer jobs would willingly tithe 10% of all their earnings direct from their paychecks. At Catholic churches, they pass a collection plate and whoever does not donate is noticed. The worse ones are the telethons on tv where they collect millions of dollars in 1 day and who knows where it goes. You can go and not contribute at all, ever and no one would even know or really care, people dont go around, 'so... how much did you contribute to the society this month?' At least they dont give all the elders and people a "fat salary" while the elders are driving around in Bentleys and Mercedes while the getting fat off of the poor congregation members. It's no secret that they need money to rent the venues and so forth.

56

Update: So I've been going to some meetings (and other things)

by WingCommander in

i've been absent from this board from some time, as i've been through alot the past few months.

firstly, my mother passed away after complications from her surgery.

so i've lost my entire family since 1999. i'm an only child.

myah

Well, I support your decision. I am not a practicing JW nor am I by any means apostate. My whole family on my mothers side is JW and cannot complain about my upbringing. I grew up with a "raised catholic, no non-demoninational christian" father and because I enjoyed going to the meetings and had fun as a child with my family that were JW he would celebrate the holidays and oust us children from the traditional "gift giving" joy of the holidays because we never really opposed our mother and possibly preffered her if that makes any sense.

When I turned 20 I stopped attending meetings, slowly stopped hanging out with some real nice friends and moved on to more "wordly pursuits". Like work and dating, tried the happy hour and club scene... not my cup of tea. I do think that I suffer more than the average person not raised so sheltered because I had no idea how bad my life would get, I mean I was still a virgin, the f word was not in my vocabulary, most of the married couples I knew were married for like 100 years and seemed happy and in love, my concept of the "world" was distorted, calling me very innocent or naive may be the more appropriate...

Needless to say I had a baby girl, not married, at the age of 21... her father is a deadbeat, he has nothing to do with his daughter... she is 7 and he and I have not spoken for 6 years. Back then he would be like can I come over and see my daughter and then just try to get laid, I put a stop to that because I started to feel just plain used. I mean who comes over to see a baby at midnight? duh!!! Next I dated a guy, who I really liked, he was Mormon, which was kinda uncomfortable for me. He wanted to marry me in a white dress in the Mormon Temple, you have to be Mormon and a virgin, you know... well, before that happened, I got knocked up... he asked me to have an abortion. I was against that, luckily for him I had a miscarriage and he was off the hook. We never spoke not even a grace period after the miscarriage.

Next, I guess I was kind of angry because I thought that men were all evil at this point, determined not to become a lesbian I ended up sleeping w/ 3 more people in the next year. Not considered a slut or whore by any worldy standard... but that was a lot for me... I thought I would marry my first and be with him for life... I would have been content to do that, but obviously that is not the mentality out here and I had a hard time coping.

Finally I settled down with a man, he claims Christianity as well as his whole family... none of really practice except for his brother, he is actually a very decent guy and I like him and his wife and kids very much. So anyways, I'm married now, I have always had a realistic view of marriage. I know that 2 people can make it work when they try hard and make many sacrafices... even the tough times arent so bad if you have the support of someone who really cares about you. Right? I guess thats in all instances. I have been the bread winner, the lead in my family financially, not out of force though. My husband is very abusive, mentally, physically (on occasion), and financially. He questioned the paternity of our children because he and his ex cheated on eachother so much there was not a fiber of ability to trust in him. I never knew anybody who did drugs in my life growing up, so when he was acting crazy, I thought he needed to go to the looney bin, come to find out he was doing meth, cocaine, drinking, and smoking weed like a little fiend. I could literally write a book about the extreme abuse (by anybodys standards) I went through with this Christian man. I left him about 2 years ago, 7 months pregnant without a friend in the world(he made sure he got rid of those), in the deepest despair I ever thought possible. We were fighting one day, I said "I'm leaving" only half believing it myself... I left with my 2 kids and one in the oven and never went back. I stopped at a pay phone and called my mom who was rescently remarried to really nice JW, as you know she is JW... she said come stay with her. It took me 4 days to drive from AZ- FL and I was scared... scared of lots, I was embarassed by the fact that here I was coming back to mom and her husband for help as a grown women with kids. Embarassed by the things that I had done, I just figured my mom would know that I was a slut and stupid for not marrying a better man, duh, look at the examples I had to look up to growing up. Surprisingly it was not like that... I literally had a small WALMART bag with clothes for me and my 2 kids, except for a debit card DL and that I had nothing else. Within the first week of being in FL, I had my first very large bag of clothing for my kids (nice stuff too) donated by one of the sisters in the congregation that had similar age and sized kids as I did. There were many additional helps after that. My mothers friends came by just to say hi and meet me. I went to meetings while staying in their home out of respect for them and I also liked the love and kindness that came with it all. If I needed to go to the doctors office or the store, ect, someone would help me. My mom and her hubby bought a new house so me and my kids could live in one (fully furnished) and they could live in the other, my step dad bought another car so I could use theirs once I found a job and my mom watched my kids for free. Even though I was once baptized at the age of 16, I was not pressured to do anything out of my comfort zone and eventually stopped going to the meetings, I got pre occupied with making money and got back together with my hubby who is very unnecessarily abusive about the beliefs of JW's which he really does not know. I now keep in touch with my mom much better than I when I first stopped going... I greet the JW's when they come to my home and treat them kindly inviting them in and even taking the magazines with articles that interest me. I do not believe that they are a "cult" religion or unchristian, but I do believe that there are fanatical members as there are in any church you go to.

My husband celebrates holidays and B-days and so on, even though I am not impressed by them and do not care to celebrate as there are not a part of my tradition and honestly, I have had a lot of really "ugly" things happen to me on the holidays when my hubby takes to drinking as much tequila as he can consume as part of every family get together, I do. I guess my point is, I miss a lot of the good things about being part of the religion and have not taken up any other kind of religion at this point because, I am not a hypocrite and am not ready to truly live by "Christian standards". In living my life I try my hardest to stay basically moral. I do sometimes get offended when JW's are spoken of abusively because my family is and always will be and I love them and respect their decisions and beliefs. I would still feel the same if I they chose not to speak to me for the rest of my life at this point, because I'm at peace and realize I control my own actions, I am a grown up for goodness sakes.

I feel badly for anyone who has had bad experiences with JW's parents, but there are a lot of people of other religions that had very messed up childhoods and it continues to make them a little salty about specific religions as an adult too. I remember growing up and people I went to school with acting like I was abused because I did not get Christmas presents or tell me that I was not allowed to eat cotton candy or go to fairs 'cause it was against my religion. How ridiculous is that. I have a grandma who told all my aunts and uncles, you are going to be destroyed at Armageddon... and all of that. Even if you believe that that is true, it is counterproductive... right? My mom never did that to me and she has remained faithful to her beliefs and truly loves her life, she was the one who started it all at the age of 15 was persecuted by own family who eventually "converted". (I dont like to use that word).

I hope you do well and dont think it is dangerous or harmful for children, my daughter is spending this whole summer with her grammies and I'm sure shell be doing it all.