it's weird putting two and two together after 40 years of have the two things separate.. my uncle was killed in a car accident in august of 1969. i was a child, but i remember my mother being very sad and crying and staying in her room.. it was in october of 1969 that the witnesses first visited my mom.
my mom was in the front yard watching us kids when jw's came door-to-door.
that sister and my mom are still friends to this day.. anyway, my mom started studying.
My dad moved my mom across country with two little kids. She was a homemaker from a little town that now was in a big city and didn't know anyone. Then came a few nice ladies knocking at her door. Combine that with having lost her mom as a little girl...she was a JWs dream householder.
My dad thinks the JWs are full of crap but he's very nice to them and they really like him. Honestly, my mom sorta has the best of both worlds.
just a couple of set of ground rules i would like to set for this.
frequently, one of two options for those who want to leave jw's are 1) a purposeful, public, resignation (or disassociation as jw's call it) vs 2) what is commonly called in the ex jw internet world, "the fade".
i know that emotions run deep on this subject for good reason, because of what is at stake, and all that is perceived to be lost.
Great thread!
When I first came to this board, I was little confused on what it meant to "fade". There were "faders" that still attend meetings and then there were "faders" that just walked awayed without DA'ing. I also noticed that were posters that appeared to have been "fading" for a few years.
Anyway, when I first accepted that the WT dogma was not "the truth" my first reaction was to DA. I was absolutely livid, for weeks. It was difficult for me to attend meetings and not just stand up and scream "GET OUT OF HER". So I left...simply walked away...no subtle fading, no fake service slips, no faking any of it...one day I was there, then in the middle of the meeting I left to go to the mall and decided I no longer considered myself a JW.
Although I was completely inactive, I deliberated for a few months whether or not to DA. Then I decided that I did not want the WT to have that type of grip on my life. If I DA'd, my family and friends would be forced to choose...me or the WT. Also, I could not come and go as freely as I wished. So I decided that walking away was right for me (as indicated by the number of times "I" is used in this post...LOL).
AllTimeJeff said:"A fade to me implies that you are putting other people, and other people's opinions ahead of you." I think this is true of people that are "faking it" but say that they are fading. I think we need another category for "fakers". There are a number of "fakers" on this board. To fade, in my opinion is rooted in selfishness, wanting your cake and eating it too. Besides, if its your cake why shouldn't you eat it? ;)
and does it seem like it is getting harder to keep in with each and every day?.
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Yes, especially when folks are talking about what they learned at the meetings or what Jehovah is going to do. Anyway, I show people by living a fullfilling life outside of the org and letting them be whoever they want to be. Funny thing is, they are always quick to tell me that I'm not really happy and that I'm just pretending so I don't have to be a JW.
i hear that many congos are loosing all their young dubs and now only very old dubs are left.
it seems the jws religion is dying out because there are no youngins to replace the aging ms/elder/cos .
the young dubs are very internet savy and would rather play warcraft than go out in the field circus.. i remember a wt study article a couple of years ago that was entitled" when a young person rebels" or something like that - anyone know that mag?.
I agree...in the English congregations the teens are leaving in droves. In the spanish congregations, if they were raised "american", they are leaving in droves.
The internet has really knocked a huge hole in the wall of fear that the JWs have built around themselves...
i hated it when i heard elders and other witnesses tell a suffering person, "just wait on jehovah".
if a person continued waiting (and suffering) they were told that jehovah was "allowing" them to be tested.
too many people waited for nothing!.
YES!!! To this day, when I hear a family member use that phrase I want to grab them and shake some sense into them.
i hope this one will be dropped: jehovah our father in heaven; oh, this is a most sacred night; twas nisan 14 when your glory was seen .... i hated that song!.
sylvia.
Anyone remember the assembly part years ago that talked about why it was improper to jazz up the kingdom melodies? Maybe it was a needs of the circuit talk...I don't remember. But at gatherings it was common for folks to do a pop, jazz or funky version of the songs. Next thing we know, there's was a part on the assembly about disgracing the kingdom melodies.
i think someone else mentioned this before, but i am interested in providing some practical help to those on this board.
many of you have helped me, and i see a lot of good will on here.. some here seem to need to move to another congregation to "fade.
" or they might be in a judicial situation.. can i help?
They don't have copies of publisher cards, outside of the local KH, you do not exist.
OTWO, I only found this out a few years ago. I don't think most witnesses know this, they believe that the FDS knows all of their activities and are keeping watch. If they only knew it was just their local elders....I think some would get up and walk away.
honestly, i never believed in the chronology.
"no man knows the day or the hour" was pretty clear to me..
Yes...based it on the 1914 generation teaching...tried to calculate the general timeframe then 1995 came and put an end to that
organization member tressa ballard, 62, left the jehovah's witnesses in 1990 and has since embraced evangelical christianity.
the colorado springs resident sometimes speaks at the meetings about how four of her five children who remained in the church refuse to talk to her since she left the faith.
"people can leave, but they will be shunned by family and friends," ballard said.. .
He lied...JWs do it all the time. Its not always theocratic warfare, sometimes they just think that "worldly" folks will not understand and so they try to soften it up for them. But rest assured that Jehovah understands why he lied and is okay with it.
so this morning was the public talk and wt study.
after, we did our usual and went to eat.
the group was mixed ages.
Bonafide,
I recently had a very, very similiar conversation with a few JWs but only on a different topic. I was also told that the slave is not inspired and one JW male went so far to tell me that I cannot hold the FDS accountable and that they are only doing the best they can based on their understanding of the bible. Then someone carried on about refinement and the light getting brighter...had to remind them that I knew what they were going to say before they said it...I spewd that stuff for years.
If those folks could just hear themselves sometimes.
drwtsn32...exactly! They can't have it both ways.
