Posts by shopaholic

27

Taking responsiblity for our Recovery

by purplesofa in

jw
friends

do you think you are responsible for you own recovery?.

what warning signs are present when you go to a different plan?.

do you really think you can heal from the jw expericance?.

shopaholic

Do you think you are responsible for you own recovery?

Yes, even though I don't feel I'm responsible for getting myself into this mess of a religion. I don't care what anyone says, when you're raised in the org how much of a choice do you really have? Out of all of my siblings only one of us went rogue but he ended up getting baptized when he was in 30's.

How do we do that?

You can't recover if you don't acknowledge there is a problem. After acknowledging the problem, you have to decide that you want to recover...because some people don't as they think it's simpler and easier to just pretend its the truth.

How have you done that?

For about the past year, I've had very little dealings with anything knowingly religious. I haven't read the bible and I haven't prayed (not even when I travel by plane). I gave myself time to grieve and to just be with myself. Unfortunately, that turned into depression and weight gain. My house was a mess for several months and I very rarely answered my phone. But I'm starting to regroup and get my act together. I volunteer for various charities and events to make sure that I'm out doing something every weekend. Last weekend I went to a benefit gala and this weekend I'll be helping to paint homes for the elderly. I'm shopping again but this time guilt-free. I'm back at the gym and have started putting local races back on my calendar, all guilt-free. Basically, I'm doing what I enjoy. My dad has never been a witness so as a kid I did get to enjoy enough non-jw activities to have a basis to start from now. I really like that I am connecting with people without an alterior motive. It was awkard at first but I'm getting better. Casual acquaintances say I seem more cheerful...that might have something to do with the fact that I no longer live to meet the exceptions of the FDS and the local congregation. I did a JW purge - literature, clothes, etc. Read several books. Also, I no longer lie about going to the meetings and giving the assumption to my family that I'm still a super-dub. One last thing would be to attend a few sessions with a therapist but I think that's more for affirmation than anything else.

What warning signs are present when you go to a different plan?

Laying in the bed all day. Unexpected and uncontrollable crying out of disbelief that this is my life. Couple of empty boxes that were once filled with brownies or cookies. Weight gain. Wondering if I should go back to the "lie" and just be a worldly-witness that everyone accepts as a worldy-witness (we all know a few of them).

Do you really think you can heal from the JW experience?

Yes, but I know for me it will take a couple of years to fully experience my pain and let it go. I think by this time next year I will be able to speak about the JW's without wanting to breakdown and cry or completely slander the religion. I've made a conscious decision to move on with my life. I reinforce that decision by listening to audio books and seminars that encourage doing what's best for you and designing your life instead of following someone's plan. It interesting because I even feel different talking with my family or when I see a JW. I feel like I've been freed from the body-snatchers...its difficult to explain but maybe someone can relate. Magik, If you want to do Halloween, don't worry if you don't have anyone to dress up with or go out with. Go alone. I was stuck in a rut for several months because I felt pathetic doing things or going places by myself. But that's how you meet people. Someone will invite you join their group. So put on your costume and hit a party for an hour and then leave but make sure you get at least one dance in...even if its by yourself.

54

half-way house for ex-Jdubs

by tula in

this chart is out of date and i am wondering if anyone can find more contemporary statistics?.

i am wondering if there is some way possible for wbts to be billed for medical expenses caused by the psychological harm inflicted when dubs end up in dr. offices or hospital as a result of spiritual trauma and spiritual warfare?.

seems to me that we could make them take some responsibility.. (i am not providing the link because this is second-hand information).

shopaholic

Purps,

I'm watching the nutrition and behavior video now. I might be jumping the gun a bit but I definitely believe this could be a contributing factor in JWs. One of their main recreations is eating and exercise is a low priority. At my last circuit pioneer meeting, which was September of last year, the CO mentioned that the society was concerned because too many of the pioneers were overweight. He mentioned that the pioneers take too many snack breaks, eat too much sugar and don't exercise enough, etc. He also noted that more and more pioneers were suffering from depression and that starting an exercise program could help alleviate depression. I remember being surprised that he would actually acknowledge this from the platform.

54

half-way house for ex-Jdubs

by tula in

this chart is out of date and i am wondering if anyone can find more contemporary statistics?.

i am wondering if there is some way possible for wbts to be billed for medical expenses caused by the psychological harm inflicted when dubs end up in dr. offices or hospital as a result of spiritual trauma and spiritual warfare?.

seems to me that we could make them take some responsibility.. (i am not providing the link because this is second-hand information).

shopaholic

...many of those he studied lacked an education, job skills, emotional stability, and quality social relations. Unsatisfactory employment records often existed because of psychological deficiencies, lack of ability or immaturity. Rylander found that Witnesses committed "...a relatively large number of small crimes and other misdemeanors which generally resulted only in a fine...three [Witnesses] have been imprisoned for stealing or harboring of stolen property, and 36 have been fined for various offenses (traffic violations, drunkenness, unlawful selling of alcohol, poaching, unlawful entering, etc.)" [9]
Neurotic symptoms commonly found in his sample included "feelings of discomfort, general anxiety, poor sleep habits, times of brooding over what they see as the meaninglessness of life, the wrongs they have suffered and the mistakes they have made." [10] Rylander noted that the Watchtower doctrine helped some adherents to explain "all of their problems in life, and has given them a satisfaction and calmness which has brought a measure of stability to their lives." [11]
He also concluded that individual Witnesses tended to be burdened with a variety of serious concerns and often joined the sect in an effort to solve their many problems. Although the results of this study are not fully applicable to today's situation, many of his conclusions are still largely true. [12] A major difference between his sample and today is that the Witnesses are now more middle-class and less socially rejected. Many Witnesses, though, especially those living in developing nations, still experience many of the same problems that Rylander reported.

Coffee, your link has too many good quotes to post them all so hopefully folks will give it a read. We could probably get more accurate stats if most of us sought the mental help we need. I know I could use a little therapy.

But on a more personal note, when my sister was about 16 she thought she was going crazy because she didn't believe in the JW stuff anymore. She would cry constantly because she didn't understand why it didn't make sense to her. So my mom talked with the elders and the CO and they told my mom its just a teenage phase. Anyway, my sister went for a routine physical and the doctor suggested my sister see a physciatrist. So my mom took her to one and the physciatrist told my mom that the JW religion was driving my sister crazy. My mom asked the physciatrist to take out the JW factor and the physciatrist said she couldn't because that was the factor. So my mom agreed to put my sister on meds "to help her adjust". My mom informed the CO and he instructed the elders to call my 16-year-old sister everyday to pray and read the bible with her every morning. They did this for about 3 or 4 months. Then a few months later when my sister started regular pioneering, they were sure it was their phone calls and Jehovah's healing hand. It was the prozac. My sister came off the prozac about a year later and has been regular pioneering ever since (about 16 years now). She still has strong doubts and a number of regrets and "forces herself to believe" (her words not mine). Her husband is a well-known elder with as many years as pioneering and he is 110% JW.

I personally know several witnesses (male and female) that take medication to help them "cope with life". All of them have told me that their doctors said it was the religion and that they understand why the society doesn't want witnesses to seek mental help because the doctor's first solution is to leave the JW religion.

11

An elegant solution to today's math problem

by JeffT in

jw
friends

http://mathestuff.de/files/find_x.jpg

shopaholic

Good one.

54

half-way house for ex-Jdubs

by tula in

this chart is out of date and i am wondering if anyone can find more contemporary statistics?.

i am wondering if there is some way possible for wbts to be billed for medical expenses caused by the psychological harm inflicted when dubs end up in dr. offices or hospital as a result of spiritual trauma and spiritual warfare?.

seems to me that we could make them take some responsibility.. (i am not providing the link because this is second-hand information).

shopaholic

The study does not shed light on the question of symptom or defense mechanism, but suggests that either the Jehovah's Witnesses sect tends to attract an excess of pre-psychotic individuals who may then break down, or else being a Jehovah's Witness is itself a stress which may precipitate a psychosis"

What is the religious composition of the 7,546? If 50 are JW's, what about the other 7,496? It highly probable that there is a religious group represented with a higher count than the JW. If at least 51 of the remaining 7,496 were active Catholics, does being a Catholic precipitate a psychosis as well? I agree that the JWs are a destructive cult but these stats prove nothing.

40

Do You Try To Be A Politically Correct Person? Why or Why Not???

by minimus in

jw
friends

are you careful about what you say?

do you make sure that you won't offend anyone?

do you care??

shopaholic

I can get along with blacks <and no, I don't say "african-americans" like the PC people because they are not african, they were born in america, so they're americans>

Country Girl, believe it or not, a number of black americans would tell you that the term "black" is more desirable. It seems like white america goes out of there way to say "african-american" but most of white america has yet to realize that all black people are not african-american. All you have to do is ask an actual black african-american and they classify most black people as "black americans". I know about 10 "white african-americans"...and you know what...white americans tell them its impossible for them to be african-american because they're not black.

BTW, I wouldn't say I'm PC. I'm polite and aware of folks within earshot of what I'm saying but if I'm speaking fact...then...why dance around the issue. Everyone is entitled to their opinion - even if it's wrong.

20

This is the argument my dad used to justify "new light"

by marmot in

i was talking with my dad the other week and i revealed my doubts (well, not doubts really, conviction) that noah's flood didn't cover the earth.

he tried the usual, first he printed up all the stuff on the flood that he could find on the wt cd (even though i told him that i already read everything the society has ever written about the flood) and when that failed to convince me he brought out the ol' trust in jehovah(tm) line .

plus, he said that since i was so enamored with science to disprove the flood i should consider how science doesn't have the same position on certain subjects compared to the past and that it's based on progressive understanding.

shopaholic

You know, the more I think about it, the story of Noah's Flood sounds more and more like a fable. When I think about from both a logistics and humanitarian standpoint, it doesn't add up. Think about it...and "then he gave a the rainbow as a reminder". Something about that event definitely got lost in translation.

24

Wow, it just clicked. I'm agnostic!

by marmot in

i honestly don't think i've ever been this happy in my life.

of course, i've got bipolar ii so i might just be edging on a bout of hypomania but i'm good at taking my med so this could very well be genuine!

i'm so excited at the new look on life this has given me.

shopaholic

Marmot,

A recent thread explained the difference between atheism and agnosticism and I arrived at the same conclusion...I'm agnostic.

43

My first week here ...thoughts

by emy the infidel in

jw
friends

i have been hear for about a week now, and have not been is such a strange mental place since i was a witness.

it has been good, the programming still kicks in however, but i'm getting less and less afraid to reason with it.

i got my coc book yesterday.... i sat looking at it and thinking of all the years i avoided it, mischaracterized and marginalized it, w/out having any specific knowledge of what was actually in it.

shopaholic

Welcom AngelEyes.

It can be overwhelming and very confusing when you're out or leaving. Like LeslieV said, the emotional blackmail can get to you and make you want to go back. I've realized that's all shunning is, emotional blackmail. I know its difficult because you lose all your friends. I'm a fader and I only have 1 friend left. For now I'm on good terms with my family as they have no idea about my fade and I've come to accept that its none of their business anyway. In regards to making friends, it takes time, especially with non-witnesses but its possible. Don't go back because of guilt or because it's expected of you. If you love Jehovah and really feel that it's his organization, then more power to you...preach on. In the words of Oprah, I'll paraphrase, once you turn 40 its time to cut the nonsense out of your life. But trust me, I know its not very easy to do because this org gets in your mind and plants a worm that's hard to get out!!!

43

My first week here ...thoughts

by emy the infidel in

jw
friends

i have been hear for about a week now, and have not been is such a strange mental place since i was a witness.

it has been good, the programming still kicks in however, but i'm getting less and less afraid to reason with it.

i got my coc book yesterday.... i sat looking at it and thinking of all the years i avoided it, mischaracterized and marginalized it, w/out having any specific knowledge of what was actually in it.

shopaholic

Hi emy and welcome to the board. I've enjoyed your post very much.

But that compartment of my life remained unchanged, unquestioned and unquestionable. A self-imposed unconscious 'purgatory' of sorts.

I see we have some things in common. It took me awhile before I would even allow myself to think that the JW was a cult, I just knew it wasn't the truth and something was very wrong with that organization. Being on this board will definitely help a person sort out some things. Glad you found the strength to break free.