Posts by shopaholic

252

are we inactive or what?

by inactive? in

i would like someone to discuss some issues i have.

i understand all are welcome here, so i am sure some elders or former elders could help me.

i was a pioneer for 7 years, before that i was a regular auxiliarry pioneer for 3 years, i have been a witness for 17 years.

shopaholic

shopaholic ...
why did they consider you a fraud?
this doesn't happen for no reason.

To put a long story short and as OTWO summed it up onetime, someone messed up my paperwork. I served abroad for a few years. Came back to the States but to the warmer parts where a good pioneer friend had recently relocated. I was fine while I was in a foreign language congo but after almost 3 years, I transferred to a different language group that was hosted by an english congregation. That's when all Sheol broke lose. They also claimed I never served abroad even though I showed them all my papers including my missionary id granted by the other country and copies of my consulate papers. But you wanna what gets me, one brother said he thought it was very strange that my KH in the other country didn't have an address or a phone. He's obviously never been outside of the US or to rural America! I told the brothers to call the branch in the other country or to write them, the address is in the back of the bible!

Like Inactive, I tried very hard to get within the good graces of the congregation. It didn't work. The brother said I should go elsewhere and I did but a letter followed me and the same thing started at this third congregation. So the elders from my first cong (the non-english) contacted me and told me that they believed me and that I was welcome to come back there...this after I've moved to a new place to be closer to help out the little language group.

There are so many little strange details to this story...like the brothers asked if I ever went to pioneer school and at the next meeting I brought them my class picture and my book. The brother asked did I take the notes and I said "Yes"...then he asked me to write something to verify it was my writing. I'm not kidding. In the past, I've only told the jest of the story because I knew that I would be treated like Inactive, people wouldn't believe me.

I don't know if Inactive is telling the truth or not, all I know is that her story is NOT hard for ME to believe. I personally cried almost everyday for a few months and felt like I wanted to die if I couldn't be a pioneer in the org. I continued to put in pioneer hours and went out with the morning group although I had to work alone and during this time people would continue to shun me. If I walked up to a group of folks talking they would just walk away...LOL...I can laugh about it now because I see the absurdity in it all. Then the brothers would ask if that was really my time or if I was generously estimating my time on my slip. Then one night as I was getting ready for the TMS school, I couldn't go...I just couldn't bring myself to do it...and all those doubts that I fought to suppress came back up but I forced myself into the car but ended up at the mall. Then Sunday came...I got dressed and said I'm not going to let them get between me and my God, I got in the car with all intentions of going to the meeting but I ended up at the mall...after all they did recommend that I go elsewhere.

252

are we inactive or what?

by inactive? in

i would like someone to discuss some issues i have.

i understand all are welcome here, so i am sure some elders or former elders could help me.

i was a pioneer for 7 years, before that i was a regular auxiliarry pioneer for 3 years, i have been a witness for 17 years.

shopaholic

After being told that our reaction to all this would prove ourselves, we stood firm, and on that wretched day of the announcement of my daughters disfellowshipping, my husband and I sat in the second row like we always did. The elders kept asking if we were sure we wanted to be present. We said, 'we did nothing wrong, we are making our stand'. They put it off and put it off, finally just before the song, they announced it, i looked the elder in the face, the whole congregation gasped and cried and could not sing. So for 6 months we never missed meeting, or service, and continued our pioneer hours. In the meantime, slowly but surely, the shunning began. No one called, no one came over, no one would work in service with us, we were asked to sit in the back of the hall, my husbands priviledges were removed, then the 7th month, we were told our time would no longer be accepted, the next month they stopped giving us publications, and the next month were told we should go elsewhere.

Your story sounds very normal because something very similar happened to me. I went to a congregation that decided I was a fraud of a pioneer, people shunned me and even when I boldly confronted them, they would just walk away. I went out in service as usual and the brother would not assign anyone to me and told me that as a pioneer I would be okay working alone. I spoke with the CO as well with no results. Then finally after one meeting, an elder told me that I should go elsewhere. Its been a year now that I've been away, not even one call around the memorial or for a CO visit of inactive persons.

Ask yourself why you want so badly to belong to a religion that treats you that way. There was no reason for you and your husband to lose your "privileges" in the congregation. If you daughter was 21 and a pioneer she was fully accountable for actions, even if she lived at home with you. Being a JW is not about serving Jehovah, its about obeying the elders and being accepted by the congregation. There are so many ways that you can serve your God and I don't think cleaning up after JW's is one of them.

Inactive, I hope you and your husband take the time for quiet reflection to figure out who you really are and what you truly want to accomplish in this life.

I wish you peace, happiness and calmness of heart.

S.

5

statistics

by solidergirl in

how many active j.w are there on this site.

how many pioneers, elders, and m.s on this site.

how many under the age of 25 are there on this site.

shopaholic

Welcome to JWD!

How many active J.W are there on this site

Inactive for about a year.

How many pioneers, elders, and M.S on this site

I was a regular pioneer when I found this site about a year ago.

How many under the age of 25 are there on this site

Over 25. But I wonder how many folks on this are under 40.

Why did you search for this site in the first

I think this site found me. After several years of feeling "something isn't right" and almost 11 years of pioneering, I asked myself "Who really are Jehovah's Witnesses? Where did they come from? Is there really only one true religion and everyone else is going to die? Why am I 30-something years old and there's still no paradise?" I actually googled to find the official site but found this one. I snooped around for a few months before I registered.

I was a pioneer and accidently found this site while researching the psych affect of beign Df cause I know for sure Im about to be

There's a pysch effect about everything JW.

28

What is God doing right now?

by shopaholic in

if god exists, what is he so busy doing that he can't help the folks in nvr's thread and the millions of folks in a similar or worst situation?.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146275/1.ashx.

i was actually going to start a whole rant about it this morning (before i saw nvr's thread) because things are not adding up .

shopaholic

"QUIT EXPECTING ME TO FIX ALL YOUR PROBLEMS"

Sad Emo,

For the record, I'm not expecting God to fix my problems but I know some other folks that could use some help. I've been busy in various charities for awhile (at the critical commentary of JW's even though I was pioneer the entire time), so I'm pulling my load and then some! Next year, I'm taking my volunteer efforts global. I've finally let go enough of the JW teaching to feel comfortable to help abroad without a bible message. Excuse me for wishful thinking, that if there is a God when is he gonna give me a hand. It's just been a real adjustment to realize that either God doesn't exist or he doesn't give a rip. I actually came to that conclusion about 5 years ago but...like most JWs I forced myself to believe.

28

What is God doing right now?

by shopaholic in

if god exists, what is he so busy doing that he can't help the folks in nvr's thread and the millions of folks in a similar or worst situation?.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146275/1.ashx.

i was actually going to start a whole rant about it this morning (before i saw nvr's thread) because things are not adding up .

shopaholic

For if there exists a God who desires that humanity believe in him and come to know him, why would he not take the most effective possible action to ensure that this occurs? If he were to manifest himself in an obvious way and explain clearly what he wants from us, the vast majority of nonbelievers would probably choose to convert, and the vast majority of religious confusion would probably be eliminated. Since this is the outcome that best achieves his goals, a rational and benevolent deity would desire to bring it about. The failure of such an event to occur must therefore be counted as evidence against the existence of any such being.

Exactly! Thanks for the great post Nvr.

28

What is God doing right now?

by shopaholic in

if god exists, what is he so busy doing that he can't help the folks in nvr's thread and the millions of folks in a similar or worst situation?.

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146275/1.ashx.

i was actually going to start a whole rant about it this morning (before i saw nvr's thread) because things are not adding up .

shopaholic

If God exists, what is he so busy doing that he can't help the folks in Nvr's thread and the millions of folks in a similar or worst situation?

http://www.jehovahs-witness.com/6/146275/1.ashx

I was actually going to start a whole rant about it this morning (before I saw Nvr's thread) because things are not adding up . We are having a crisis on this planet. Here's the thing, we always ask everyone else to step up and act. Presidents, parents, teachers, community leaders, etc., so ... Where the heck is God?

31

lack of repentance is the ONLY ground for disfellowshipping.... really?

by inkling in

ok, so whenever i would question the justice of the df policy, i kept.

getting the same line (even from my dad, an elder):.

people are not disfellowshipped because of the actual sin, they are.

shopaholic

Scully, I've seen what you've described a number of times with elders/MS/pioneers. Only once have I seen it where the man was df'd and the woman was reproved (a couple in their mid-30's let a young brother move in with them and the husband traveled on business a lot...sure you can finish the story).

Anyway, one time at a congo I attended a married MS about 55 years old took a special interest in a young girl that was 18. The girl's father was never in her life. He befriended her and she would go out to dinner with him and his wife. Everyone thought it was nice that they took such an interest in this girl. Anyway, turned out they had been sleeping together for about a year. She was disfellowshipped and he was publicly reproved. Nearly ripped the congo and neighboring congos in half.

Also I have known of elder's kids at my congo that have done all types of things and never received ANY theocratic discipline whatsoever...how do I know...because they went around bragging about it. One elder would bring his pregnant teenage daughter out in service...LOL...that didn't last long as the commentary from the householders were quite colorful...LOL!

So, being disfellowshipped depends on a number of factors.

33

When did you STOP considering yourself a JW ? ? ? ?

by JH in

jw
friends

any particular event sparked this change of heart ?.

shopaholic

Hmmm...this is a rather interesting question. The first time I contemplated that I might not be a JW anymore was a few months ago on a thread that explained what it meant to be agnostic and I realized I was one. Then about a few weeks ago while driving to work, I had a conversation in my head (we all do it) and in that conversation someone asked if I was a JW, I told the person that I wasn't.

32

PLEASE tell me I'm crazy!!!

by Elyse867 in

jw
friends

so... hubby and i have been getting into discussions with a lot of people lately about the wts.

i want so bad to know what to believe... i don't believe that the 'truth' is the one true religion anymore, but i don't know what to believe anymore when it comes to certain things... what happens to you after you die, etc.

so, i've been praying a lot (i still believe in god) asking him to direct me somewhere, just give me something to believe in.

shopaholic

Take the time to clear your mind of preconceived religious ideas, and once you've done that you can start fresh.

I agree. When you're leaving the JW org, you can become consumed in doubt as to if you made the right decision. Also, because what we've taught is so deeply rooted within us we quickly see other teachings as false and begin to wonder if the JWs had it right all along. Time away from anything religious is a good approach to clearing your mind so that you can process ideas logically and objectively.

BTW, you probably are crazy...we all are

13

Guess who's no longer a NEWBIE!!!!

by babygirl75 in

jw
friends

shopaholic

Congrats!