Dear ScoobySnax,
I remember an assembly in Grantville, Pa. a number of years ago, when an "Apostate" infiltrated the auditorium in meeting clothes and carrying a brief case. He shouted from the back of the hall, "Brothers and Sisters, you've been lied to." He didn't get any further, as 3 or 4 attendents jumped on him and hustled him out the door. I remember my feelings; fear that something "bad" would happen, having been made so paranoid about persecution, relief at the big strong men who protected us and kept the congregation clean, and finally puzzlement. Why would anyone who didn't agree with the witnesses do this? What had we done to make people so bitter? If someone disagreed why not just walk away? After all, only murders, adulterers and fornicators were ever disfellowshipped. Right?
Fast forward to August/September 2001. I was first learning the truth about the "truth." And I mean no disrespect for all the lost souls at 9/11, but the UN scandal sent me reeling far more than any national tragedy. I was a zombie for a week or more. This after six years spend living in guilt and fear that I had turned my back on Jehovah and brought shame to the organization for not living up to my dedication. After that awakening, I understand the need to tell others what lies beneath the mask of the WTBS.
I guess what I'm trying to say, Scooby, is what every one else had told you--learn the truth about the truth. Educate yourself, free yourself from the chains of remorse and guilt.
FreeFallin