Posts by RisingEagle

155

Share your favorite silly/stoopid joke...

by Priest73 in

hey,.

did you guys hear what happened to the pope when he went to mount olive?.

popeye beat the snot out of him.

RisingEagle

The hick from Oklahoma decides that he and his wife a/k/a first cousin have enough children because the bed is getting crowded with 11 people sleeping on it so he goes to the family doctor also known as a 'vet'. He explains the situation to the vet who tells him about a procedure called a vasectomy. When the vet tells the hick how much it costs for the procedure he asks him what other options he has.

The vet tells him to get a couple m-80 firecrackers and an empty pop can, light the firecrackers, drop them in the can, hold the can in his right hand and count to 10.

The hick doesn't understand but the vet says, "trust me." So the hick gets the firecrackers and the empty can, lights them and drops them in the can. He then places the can in his right hand and begins to count 1,2,3,4,5...

Then he promptly sets the can between his legs and uses the fingers of his right hand to continue counting 6,7,8,9.....

This method also works in all states south of the manson-nixon line.

16

:-)

by FreudianSlip in

yo

RisingEagle

Howdy, welcome to the board. I hope you post often!

Eagle

15

Greetings from the unchosen frozen

by RisingEagle in

jw
friends

so there's this stuff called water that when it gets cold it turns into ice.

this ice got all over a couple of trees in my area on sunday night and caused three or four branches to fall which took out our power lines around 11:00 oclock.

i wrote the 'unchosen frozen' because my neighbors have had electricity up and working since monday morning, but my side of the street just got power back tonight at 7:30. lucky us.. anybody know the best way to get melted candle wax out of carpet?

RisingEagle

Gopher and HL: Thanks for your good thoughts! There is no ice left except sporadic patches on grass (at least in Okc). It rained Monday all day and I think the sudden change between ice and water is what caused lots of the tree trunk falls.

On Monday when I went to put icemelt on my mom's steps and porch (amazing stuff, never used it before. sounds just like that candy 'pop rocks' when it hits the ice) it was raining and every few minutes I'd hear 'CRACK' and then "Boom! another branch had fallen. Big heavy cottonwood tree limbs in her neighborhood, I hope no one was hurt.

I watched the weather lie on the news tonight and they are predicting 6 inches of snow, we'll see.

WTWizard: Thanks for the tips on the candle wax, I'll try the iron. Every candle I had lit had a paper plate underneath. It was only when I was walking around the house to get stuff that I spilled the wax. Or when I coughed. I saw the electronic candles today when the family got cabin fever and went shopping to kill time, that's also a good tip. One thing though, the candles fwiw did give a little heat and it raised the temp in the room a little bit. The candlesticks we have were never purchased to be functional, they were purty. Any tips for getting the candle wax off of brushed stainless steel candlesticks without damaging the sticks?

I have a tip to share. When I was at home Monday night and it got sooo cold I had an inspiration when I had to go to the potty. I took a towel and put hot water on it, then put the hot towel on the toilet seat for just a bit. Then wiped dry with another towel and voila! you don't freeze your keister.

15

Greetings from the unchosen frozen

by RisingEagle in

jw
friends

so there's this stuff called water that when it gets cold it turns into ice.

this ice got all over a couple of trees in my area on sunday night and caused three or four branches to fall which took out our power lines around 11:00 oclock.

i wrote the 'unchosen frozen' because my neighbors have had electricity up and working since monday morning, but my side of the street just got power back tonight at 7:30. lucky us.. anybody know the best way to get melted candle wax out of carpet?

RisingEagle

HL, I'm glad to see you safe and sound!

Do all of you men stick together in your "man club"?

1st rule of man club: "Do not talk about man club"

We stayed the first night in the house. Residual heat kept us warm and I had plenty of candles. Little one thought it was 'fun' to rough it. Our furnace is gas heated but the silly blower is electric. Oops. Eveything else except for water heater is electric. Moved on to FIL's next day and stayed there until tonight. Warm, but not home. I kept having to come back home to feed the dogs and let them in and out of their kennels. I tried to stay the second night by myself but the dogs were weirded out by not being in their beds. I tried to have a three dog night but they wouldn't stay still and let me sleep so at 4:30 tuesday morning I went back to FIL's. FIL had no cable because backyard neighbors tree went down on the line. Ironic because they had switched to satellite TV but the coax cable broke and killed the neighborhood.

I had filled my jacket with emergency stuff first night. Candles, 2 boxes matches, lighter, maglight, medicine for varmint child. Mom's house lost power so I went to rescue her. Loaded stick candles in bag and tossed them in the backseat. When I went to get the candles, the bag felt strange. Young 'un had taken each stick candle and broken them across her knee to 'make more candles' for grandma. Helpful child.

Got excited late Tuesday night. Power company trucks lined our street, but left after 30 minutes. I saw next door neighbor who is a deputy sheriff outside and asked why he didn't go bring 'em back dead or alive. He did go chase them. Power co couldn't do anything until trees were removed.

Wednesday saw power co truck on the street and a guy in an orange hardhat was walking taking down addresses of houses that needed trimmer trucks. I offered him a bribe.

I'm not sure what state's power company finally came and got the lines up today, but I'm sure grateful they came to help out. Being without electricity in this day and age and time of year is not fun when you don't have an alternate heat source.

15

Greetings from the unchosen frozen

by RisingEagle in

jw
friends

so there's this stuff called water that when it gets cold it turns into ice.

this ice got all over a couple of trees in my area on sunday night and caused three or four branches to fall which took out our power lines around 11:00 oclock.

i wrote the 'unchosen frozen' because my neighbors have had electricity up and working since monday morning, but my side of the street just got power back tonight at 7:30. lucky us.. anybody know the best way to get melted candle wax out of carpet?

RisingEagle

Just kidding about there being just a few trees going down. There were over 650,000 people in my state alone without electricity because of the ice storm that happened on Sunday. Even areas that did not have overhead electric lines but had buried electrical wires are still without power. Just driving down the street is like being a mouse in a maze what with having to drive around the downed tree trunks.

Are my fellow midwestern JWD friends safe and warm? Has everyone been heard from or checked on?

Eagle

13

Home depot saftey alert

by BrentR in

a 'heads up' for those of us men who may be regular home depot customers.

over the last month i became a victim of a clever scam while out shopping.

simply going out to get supplies has turned out to be quite traumatic.

RisingEagle

That joke was so bad I have to go tell it to at least 20 other people just so they can see how awful it is for themselves.

Thanks Brent that's good stuff right there.

15

Greetings from the unchosen frozen

by RisingEagle in

jw
friends

so there's this stuff called water that when it gets cold it turns into ice.

this ice got all over a couple of trees in my area on sunday night and caused three or four branches to fall which took out our power lines around 11:00 oclock.

i wrote the 'unchosen frozen' because my neighbors have had electricity up and working since monday morning, but my side of the street just got power back tonight at 7:30. lucky us.. anybody know the best way to get melted candle wax out of carpet?

RisingEagle

So there's this stuff called water that when it gets cold it turns into ice. This ice got all over a couple of trees in my area on Sunday night and caused three or four branches to fall which took out our power lines around 11:00 oclock. I wrote the 'unchosen frozen' because my neighbors have had electricity up and working since Monday morning, but my side of the street just got power back tonight at 7:30. Lucky us.

Anybody know the best way to get melted candle wax out of carpet?

BTW for those who dig melted candle wax as an erotic thingy - I do not get it.

80

I wish I had _'s . What do you admire about other posters?

by AWAKE&WATCHING in

i wish i had leolaia's brain.. i wish i had eryn's reasoning skills and sense of humor.. i wish i had purps, sparkplug and seven006's talent and creativity.. i wish i had wasanelderonce's dedication.. .

do you wish you had another poster's wit, compassion, heart, personality, tenacity, sense of humor, looks, way with the ladies, way with words or anything else that you admire?.

fess up - what do they have that you want?.

RisingEagle

I wish I had everyone's electricity and heat. (No that's not a metaphor)

Eagle

11

Mountain sleigh ride

by BrentR in

every christmas i take my wife and daughter up to leavenworth which is a small bavarian themed town in the middle of the cascade mountains.

ten miles north of the town is eagle creek ranch which has sleigh rides.

it was 20 deg (f) with a slight north breeze that made it feel much colder.

RisingEagle

Brent, thanks for sharing the beautiful photos, good job on making great memories for the family.

Christmas is not about shopping malls!

Excellent.

(As an aside one of the Christian rock stations on our airway's big give away for the season was a trip to the Mall of America and $1000 to shop. Oops.)

Get to know your inner Grinch

by RisingEagle in

jw
friends

an answer to the 'elf yourself' thread (thanks for that by the way, although i make an ugly elf).

find your grinch name:.

http://www.yourgeekfriend.com/grinchname/grinchname.php?.

RisingEagle

An answer to the 'Elf Yourself' thread (Thanks for that by the way, although I make an ugly elf)

Find your Grinch name:

http://www.yourgeekfriend.com/GrinchName/GrinchName.php?