First off, let me say how sorry I am for your loss. It is really tragic.
It is especially tragic the way Witnesses treat former members in situations like this. I had recently left the Org back in 2005 when my 32-year-old brother died unexpectedly of blood clots that formed in his legs and went into his lungs. My brother and I had been inseparable our whole lives, being only 14-months different in age. Rhett was a pioneer, an MS, and widely known and loved. I'd say there were close to 2,000 people at his funeral. Almost all of these people, ones I had known my whole life, shunned me even there. I never received a single card, or flower, or phone call, or visit while my Witness family members were inundated with support and sympathy and visitors. Hours after I learned of his death and went to the house where I was raised to mourn the passing of my brother, my step-mother suggested I leave the premises as it would be more "dignified". People I had known my whole life referred to me in the third person while I was standing right in front of them at my brothers funeral, as if it were I who had died and not him. I will never forget how cold, how vicious, how unloving and inhuman was the treatment I received at the hands of my former "Brothers" and "Sisters" once I no longer believed their religion. They couldn't even have basic compassion towards me as a young man who had just lost his life-long best friend, his closest brother.
Ryan
XJW Net: The new social network for former Jehovah's Witnesses