The subject line got your attention, huh! This site generates money with google ads as you know. I clicked on one which took us to the JW dating website. Curiosity still fully engaged I clicked search. Scrolled down and found this: http://www.jwconnections.com/cgi-bin/WebObjects/JWDate.woa/wo/1.0.8.3.0.12.0.2.13?34,8 (look below for the dating profile). Do you think these folks are seriously using this site as real JWs? This guy has a photo showing a little goatee growth, so maybe it is only the weak ones? Profile ChiGuy Brother, 46, Divorced Illinois, United States Personal Eye Color: Brown Hair Color: Dark Brown Height: 6' 1" Body Type: Fit Race: Caucasian Marital Status: Divorced Has Children: Yes, at home. Wants Children: Yes Occupation: Financial services Education: High School Languages: English (Fluent), Spanish (Some) My Favorite Scripture 1 Corinthians 13 Introduction Hi... I'm Steve. I'm an active, very young at heart, father of two who's lookin for what i'm sure everyone on the site is lookin for.... a compatible, attractive person, to be my best friend, companion, and share my love and life with. Will I find that here? Who knows... But I'm always open to possibilities and opportunities... : ) UPDATE!! - For all those searching and wondering if it's possible to find love online, i'm here to tell you, YES!! On October 1st, 2005, I married a sister I met online. Bottom line, it's incredible. I can't put into words how nice it is to have a loving partner - one who loves Jehovah. The only advice i'll give... (after going thru all this) Be BRUTALLY honest about who you are and how you are. If both parties do this upfront, it drasticly lessens the learning curve once you get together. Update #2 - Even in Jah's Org, nothing's perfect and things go wrong... : ( The women/sister I described above, the one I still love very deeply, decided she no longer wanted to be married. We divorced legally 06/07, but unscriptural before Jah as no immorality/adultry was involved. I'm shattered and lost, and trying to recover from it all, and now unfree to re-marry. I pray she reconsiders her decision, and ask for your prayers of support in the matter as well. Anyone else going/gone thru this? Feel free to write me and help me cope w/this... All About Me Tough to describe myself in this box... I'm unique, like no one you've ever known. I'm active and very young at heart, (some mistake this for immature? lol) funny, witty, passionate, romantic, and definitely, a bit of a rebel. I'm a great conversationalist, and I specialize in communicating and kissing. : ) Oh... And by the way? I WILL make you laugh. : ) I'm a pretty big guy, 6'1 and about 220lbs, with brown hair and eyes, and a pretty fit/athletic build. (34/36 in. waist/46 in. chest) You'll notice just a touch of gray in my hair, prob due to my 2 kids not listening. : ) BTW... The kids and I are a pkg. deal, as they do live w/me. I love to play and watch most sports. Some of my fav's are; sand volleyball, baseball/softball, football, and golf. I love the sun and beach, but enjoy skiing and winter activites as well. (snuggling in front of the fireplace with peppermint/butterscotch schnapps & hot chocolate and lots of kisses, is a fav too ) : ) I love to dance, and will sing in your ear. (if you let me) There's lots more too, but you'll have to contact me to find out... : ) Jehovah and His Organization I'm born and raised in the truth, so i've experienced both good and bad, and have had my share of challenges. The Org is imperfect, and run by imperfect people, but everyone (for the most part) has good intentions. It all comes down to a personal relationship w/Jah, doesn't it? I am conviced, there's nothing better, nor any place I'd rather be. I'm far from perfect, but try to be balanced. I'm consistant in meeting attendence, and have a good heart. My goal's simple... Stay active, faithful, and finish the race. I've learned, it's a marathon, not a sprint. : ) One last thing... I especially love how Jehovah WANTS to forgive, and does it immediately. Jehovah looks for the good/positive things in everyone. Hopefully, someday, man can/will grasp that concept... What I am looking for. Beauty? Passion? Laughter? Consistant, unconditional love? A 20 yr old? (Ha! JUST Kidding!) Seriously tho... Unfortunitely, I don't think I'll know til I see her. I'd appreciate if any sisters do respond to my profile, they have a pic on the site, or at least have one they can send by email. I don't mean to come off as shallow or mean or anything, but lets be real... Physical attraction is important. It's a part of what makes the connection. It's a big piece of the puzzle for me. I want/need to crave my mate, like wanting a tall, cold, glass of ice water, on a 100 degree day. Is that so wrong? Now, that being said, a pretty face isn't the only qualifying factor. Since i'm young at heart, (NOT immature, I promise, lol) i tend to be more attracted to youthful sisters, (age 30-40) rather than sisters who are older. Someone playful and flirty is right up my alley. Physically, i'm typically more attracted to petite, slim, or athletic women, rather than heavier ones. Height isn't as important to me tho, as size in proportion to shape/weight. From a personality/disposition standpoint... I'm lookin for someone who's funny and witty, (dry, sarcastic sense of humor) is able to make me laugh, and someone who can take all my teasing & jokes. Also, because i'm a very physical, "touchy feely" kinda guy, she'll need to be passionate, love to kiss, and be intimately uninhibited. Most importantly tho, she needs to have a loving, giving, romantic spirit. I wanna spoil someone rotten, but not feel like i'm bein taken advantage of, know what I mean? Does that make sense? I want back, all i give. In short... Make me smile, touch my heart, and you could own me. Does this describe you? If so... I'm waitin to hear from you.... : ) If not... Do you know who/where she is? Tell her i'm patiently waiting... : )
samiam2b
JoinedPosts by samiam2b
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Adult entertainment
by samiam2b inthe subject line got your attention, huh!
this site generates money with google ads as you know.
i clicked on one which took us to the jw dating website.
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Drama or no drama?
by samiam2b infor those who have kids living with an ex, who continues to promote jw, and whose said kids passively or actively shun you (once in a while or all the time): -what (how much) do you tell your workmates?
-your 'new' family (if you have a post-jw family)?
-the kids?
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samiam2b
Thank you for the advice and the links, I had never seen any of those before!
Here is the situation, I'm interested in your thoughts but I will try to make it brief:
Scenario:
-12 and 14 year old dtrs are both now baptised, living with their JW mom in another state. Their mom (my ex) and I both grew up JW, although as adults meeting attendance and service were more or less occasional most of the time. I was emotionally done with the marriage and the religion. Ex did some "fake" suicide stuff, spent a week in a mental hospital, was "cured". She emptied the house when I was at work one day. The next week she took the car I used to get to work and hid it at a JW "friends" house then broke into my new (much smaller studio apt) new place through a window, leaving some belongings... then she gave it back to the bank. (happy happy joy joy)
-When we were separated (working to divorce court) I informed my JW mom that I had a girlfriend (trying to give her the hint that I was getting out of JW-was NOT an affair). Soon my ex knew... and from that moment did not hear from my mom again for a couple of years. We divorced and both moved from the state (to different states). I had to 'bargain' with the ex, DA'd by letter in trade for something (don't remember what now...ha). Younger dtr more interested in seeing dad than the other, continues till today. Psychological issues run in the ex's family and boy does she have issues!
-Now, they are practically best friends with my brothers ex and her PO dad. He and she split years ago after she was baaaddd.... now she is a shining star and my dtrs call her "auntie". My brother hasn't been to a meeting since and is happily remarried, has a child in a christian school, does the holidays, and etc.
-I have visitation rights twice a year. Ex has been in public assistance and low income housing in dangerous area and victim of a break-in. I pay ($$$$) child support that she lived off for the past few years and has just now gotten a job (THAT attitude was the same straw that broke the camels back for our marriage).
Issues:
-14 yo dtr aux pioneered this summer-conveniently unavailable for a visit this summer. She has avoided all christmas break visits. Typical 14 year old girl issues. Goes to great lengths to make sure I get her report cards ($$). She also is very 'self righteous' towards me about anything said or done that she considers to be worldly. I "made" my ex take her for counseling, the ex supposedly couldn't find a real psych doctor so a therapist was used. Dtr didn't want to go and after a couple visits (2 or 3) she was deemed to have no problems according to the ex.
-12 yo dtr recently baptised. She hasn't gone JW on me. She seems fairly stable however, since the split she has gained a lot of weight, substantially. This does effect her and she is self conscious. She has no problem visiting me and even flies alone because of her sister not coming and always gets me her report card also. I've tried to get her mom to see to her physical health, see a nutritionist, pediatrician, trainer, etc all to no avail. No follow-through!
Concerns:
-14yo is going down a path of no return with our relationship become fragile. She went to an orthodontist appt where they told her she needed surgery (her mom was at work so she had a friend drive her)... can you believe that? She was so scared that she immediately called me otherwise she is frequently convenitently too busy for my weekly phone call (normal teen?).
-12yo is going to have major self esteem and health issues. She is very sensitive to any comments about food, choices, nutrition, etc. I am not in a position to properly guide her through this remotely and her mom is not too concerned (even though she is prob 2.5x 'average').
-Mom won't talk to me unless its family business and does not seek a relationship with my new wife or our two little ones. She also won't talk to my brother. She has no prob talking to my sister-who is living in sin-but has not come outright and told her so.
So now that you know my life story... what do you think I should do?
Thanks!
samiam2b
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Playing in the snow in august.
by BrentR inme, the wife and daughter took off this morning to climb up one of the volcanic spurs of mt rainier.
we started out at sunrise elev 6400 feet.
the weather was not perfect but there was no rain.
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samiam2b
Nice! I always find the "real" outdoors to be very refreshing and mentally cleansing. I'm only a couple thousand miles away now so please enjoy it for me. Cheers samiam2b
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Drama or no drama?
by samiam2b infor those who have kids living with an ex, who continues to promote jw, and whose said kids passively or actively shun you (once in a while or all the time): -what (how much) do you tell your workmates?
-your 'new' family (if you have a post-jw family)?
-the kids?
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samiam2b
For those who have kids living with an ex, who continues to promote JW, and whose said kids passively or actively shun you (once in a while or all the time): -What (how much) do you tell your workmates? -Your 'new' family (if you have a post-JW family)? -Yourself? -The ex? -The kids? -The court?
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How The Organization Hooks You With "Privileges"
by minimus inright from the beginning, you are bombarded with others telling you what a "privilege" it is to "be used" in the organization.
especially if you're a male, it is easy to get hooked by the elder's lines.....for example, a male is given the "privilege" of "handling the microphones" if they put in enough time in the ministry and they aren't setting a bad example.
if you're "faithful in what is least", greater privileges await you.
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samiam2b
Learning2Fly: In small congregations women are allowed to handle "priveleges" when no qualified brothers are there. It is odd to see a sister handling a microphone or even saying a prayer!
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How The Organization Hooks You With "Privileges"
by minimus inright from the beginning, you are bombarded with others telling you what a "privilege" it is to "be used" in the organization.
especially if you're a male, it is easy to get hooked by the elder's lines.....for example, a male is given the "privilege" of "handling the microphones" if they put in enough time in the ministry and they aren't setting a bad example.
if you're "faithful in what is least", greater privileges await you.
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samiam2b
Oh don't I know!
1. Moved to a small town. Congregation had 18 people in it, the territory was about 2 hours by 2 hours drive. I drove an hour to get to the hall. Frequently I was the only "brother" there besides the PO. Although not worthy of the "priveleges" when the whole crew was there, somehow I was worthy when they weren't. It was quite a dance, playing the music, saying the prayer, doing the microphones, and handing out literature at the meeting....
2. At one point I thought it was funny there was a minimum hour requirement to do stuff. I would go out for a few hours a month for real and just add time to the sheet to get over the national average and make up some magazine placements. Wait, maybe they figured it out because the elders just told me I needed to do more. So I did. I added a couple more hours, RVs, and placements. To do this successfully though I had to be sure to get the most rural territories, where you would spend more than an hour just driving TO the place. Let one of the zealots make a call in town first though, otherwise you couldn't count the time. Go to all five houses in that territory (takes a couple hours to do that)... and spend another couple hours driving home. Bingo!
3. Some JW "friends" asked me to fix their computer when they went out of town. I don't remember what was wrong but in the process of fixing it I discovered they had been emailing about ME to someone I didn't even know... talking smack! Not sure what to do about that find but knowing that I had to have "proof", I printed the email. When they came back and we chatted, I mentioned the find (not the print). They called a meeting with the PO for me reading their email. Dumbasses! They asked me to fix their email and it didn't take snooping to find! They tried to discredit me with the elders over invading their privacy until I mentioned the printed copy of the email. So I got in trouble for printing a copy, in trouble for "stealing" their paper! I was reproved and they made him an elder. Sheesh...
4. I was dirt poor, as in (minimal) food stamps, public insurance for my kids, and I could only afford to eat one meal a day to preserve food for the wife and kids. I worked full-time and in the tiny town there were no other jobs. This town was one that traveling speakers had to go through in order to get to the KH from where most of them lived. The much more well to-do JWs were either always going to other halls to give talks or had some excuse for not feeding the speaker. Wanting to be hospitable, I invited them to our house for lunch. It wasn't much, could be PB&J and water... but it was literally all I could do. In fact, it meant that I had to sacrifice a meal during the week to pull it off. After a while I think the word got out that our cong was barely feeding the speakers... and the elders stepped up. I did not get anything for that, chaps my ass....
Sorry for ranting but I had 10 years of promises of "priveleges" and watched hypocrisy in action on a weekly basis in some cases affecting me or my family in very personal ways.
samiam2b
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Where are YOU on the NEEDS Pyramid?
by lonelysheep injgnat's statement here reminded me of the needs pyramid, and my placement on it as a jw potential convert, as well as where i am now.
jgnat: "besides the failure to love their vocation, i think a big problem is that with the witnesses there is only one cause and only one activity.
there is no accommodation for various talents or abilities.
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samiam2b
Also, I believe that Maslow's theory was based on individual needs not societal needs. Many have tried to extrapolate this to a society of people (uh, poor word choice?). In order to influence groups of people you need to address everyone's individual place on the pyramid. Can you imagine a car salesman whose job it was to sell a car to a group of 100 people at the same time? How many do you think would buy? How would the salesman know when to give the final pitch? JW's specifically look for those with "spiritual hunger" or thirst or whatever that was to preach to... that describes individuals who are at a specific part of the pyramid, no? By focusing the recruitment effort at that, the results will be better than a generalized approach (rifle versus shotgun). Retaining converts is a completely different issue. Once you are meeting the needs of that particular shelf, you become a lifeline to the individual... they will rely on you to continue that. It is very similar to how our bodies are affected by meds/drugs, particularly the dopamine receptors make us feel good so that we develop a physiological craving for more. Only when the difficulties of remaining overcome our individual perceived benefits of staying do we become strong enough to break away. Some will find something else to replace that fulfillment (still hungry/thirsty or illicit activities)... some already have even before leaving (complacent JWs). Finally, I would be curious to know how you would categorize yourself after leaving... as the former or the latter? Cheers samiam2b
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Bethel Tour-long sorry
by samiam2b ini'm new as a member but have watched the site for a while.
one of my kids, who lives in another part of the country, came for a summer visit from another state and asked to go on a bethel tour.
she lives with her jw mother and is surrounded by jws and they even baptized her recently.
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samiam2b
oops, was I supposed to give a tip? They didn't have that on the website either. ;-) Should I bump my other questions to a new subject??
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Bethel Tour-long sorry
by samiam2b ini'm new as a member but have watched the site for a while.
one of my kids, who lives in another part of the country, came for a summer visit from another state and asked to go on a bethel tour.
she lives with her jw mother and is surrounded by jws and they even baptized her recently.
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samiam2b
Maybe this requires a new subject line but here it goes: in my employment I have done quite a bit of ghost writing (ha, maybe pun is intended here), which has led me to wonder about the ghost writings of the bethelites and GB. How exactly does the GB direct the writing/doctrine development? I have no clue and wonder because people in positions in bureaucracies are often "blamed" for things that they do not directly do but are blamed because they represent a bureaucracy with their titles (oh wait, the GB have honored titles and are highly regarded men?). One of the posters we were shown on the tour talked about six committees, each having a GB member assigned. One committee has the responsibility of the writing of talks/conventions/books/mags/etc. Does the GB write an outline, a topic, a first rough draft, or any other material that is taken by trained editors to be edited for spelling and grammar prior to printing?? or is it bethelites who pass the SAT test equivalent that are just given free reign to write stuff? maybe it is the circuit overseers who the major policy writing because they know what the people on the ground will tolerate or "need"? I have always wondered about this and never heard anything conclusive. Even the president doesn't write his speeches, senators don't write bills they sponsor them, and many of the other laws we are subject to are written by either special interest groups or bureaucrats not the elected officials. Hows does the WTS do it? and what if another bethel (the people, not the building) disagreed with points being made, how do they resolve that? -samiam2b
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Bethel Tour-long sorry
by samiam2b ini'm new as a member but have watched the site for a while.
one of my kids, who lives in another part of the country, came for a summer visit from another state and asked to go on a bethel tour.
she lives with her jw mother and is surrounded by jws and they even baptized her recently.
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samiam2b
Thanks guys... it was all offices. They have acronyms for things but basically the administrative offices are there. The legal office, the public information office, building coordination, assembly coordination, their equivalent to human resources, etc. If you want to see printing work you have to go to Walkill but the guide told us we might not see anything because when they are printing something new they hide it behind black curtains... sheesh!
And yes, other than going up and down the elevator, we only got to see posters. How anticlimactic! Oh wait, she pointed out the residence building a mile away where many of the bethelites live and have to walk to bethel in all weather. WTS plows the walkway for the city. How generous.