Wow thank you for the links, must have been a lot of work, I look forward to reading them all and trying to show my husband, although right now he's anything but receptive.
Thank you x
Tornintwo
JoinedPosts by Tornintwo
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205
Hi Everyone. Answer to prayer countdown...
by Stumpy ini've been lurking for about 3 months now and thought i'd better finally sign up.
you have all been an immense help to me as i have come to realize that this isn't the truth so i want to say a great big thank you!
what a crazy, emotional ride it is to finally face the truth about the doubts that i have carried for many years.
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5
Exiting the JW cult, by Bonnie Zieman.
by Sabin inhello to you all, i`m reading this book exiting the jw cult & i think so far it is brilliant.
i emailed a friend the other day and said "sometimes i feel rage that isn't good towards the j dub`s & what they do to others".
then i came across this section in the book, pg 62-63, where it says.
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Tornintwo
Just started reading the book, looks good so,far....
ive felt a lot of anger towards prominent 'brothers' who have mistreated my family, and yes, surprise, surprise I was told to 'wait on Jehovah' and that they are just 'imperfect men' whilst having to listen to this particular nasty piece of work giving talks at the conventions.
Also there are many times I should have left quite an abusive marriage in the past but was told to work harder at being a good submissive wife. Nauseating. For me thankfully it didn't become a dangerous situation, more emotionally damaging than physically. But I wonder how many women have been sent back into a dangerous situation, thinking that if they were just a better Christian wife, it would all be ok. That makes me angry.
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Hello world !
by Mrs. Eden inwell, here i am.. hello world, mrs. eden sending regards to everyone.
:).
my english is limited, so please go easy on me.. mrs. eden.
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Tornintwo
Welcome, I'm newly awoken, there is so much to learn, so nice you and your husband are supporting each other in your changing views.
if you are ready then jwfacts.com and crisis of conscience are must reads ASAP if you haven't already, to find out what this jw organization is really like x
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A must read for all JW's and Ex-JW's
by iwasblind inhi guys.
i am about 60% through the book exiting the jw cult: a healing handbook: for current & former jehovah's witnesses .
i bought this book because of a post about it last week so a big thank you for that.. i must say that everyone on this forum should consider giving this book a go.
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Tornintwo
One quick tip,for anonymity....I share my Amazon account with the rest of my family, so if I buy on kindle it will be seen on my families kindle apps too. Set up a new Amazon account if you want to keep this kind of book on the quiet....and passcode your gadgets. -
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A must read for all JW's and Ex-JW's
by iwasblind inhi guys.
i am about 60% through the book exiting the jw cult: a healing handbook: for current & former jehovah's witnesses .
i bought this book because of a post about it last week so a big thank you for that.. i must say that everyone on this forum should consider giving this book a go.
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Tornintwo
Hi iwasblind, thank you for the recommendation I'm going to get it today.
im newly out and struggling....everything has changed. I am speaking with an online counsellor and she gave me the 'task' of remembering what I was like & what I wanted at age 14! Why? Because that was the last time I was without jw influence or that of a domineering jw man! Scary, 25 years of my life lived differently from what it should have been, leaving me unskilled, short of cash, in a very difficult relationship and having to start all over again to build friendships and a community, wondering whether to leave my marriage, retrain and try to live the life I should have lived 25 years later....or to try and work with what I've got. Thank goodness for my wonderful children so that I don't regret.
But it's a strange, stressful and depressing time...there's a pull to go back to the but once you've taken that red pill there is no going back, and I can barely stomach the odd meeting never mind the whole 'spiritual' routine again.
Thanks for the recommendation and reminding me there's a lot of us going through the same things
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Honor Your Story
by OnTheWayOut ina recent thread mentioned members who wrote their own story as a book.
you don't have to have an entire book to write your story.
as a matter of fact, you don't have to share your story if you are not up to it.
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Tornintwo
I'd love to read your story, gonna look it up right now
mine is developing fast...., oh the stress, leaving the high control religion, the effect on your entire world, friends, family, marriage, work.....the stress is quite extreme. I'm so grateful I have non JW, supportive family (parents and sibling) who have forgiven me for being such a pain in the ass cultist for the past 20 years, my heart goes out to those who's entire family are in.
Counselling, journalling, up all night posting, whatever it takes to get through x
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need input: My wife is at it again...this time about the faithful and discreet slave
by goingthruthemotions inso you all know that i go with my wife to the meeting to protect the kids from the drival and pacify her.
tonight we are sitting there and she points to mathew and says something about the faithful and discreet slave and she said eplain this.
so breaking away from what i was reading in the meeting..." in search of christian freedom by franz"...i said.
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Tornintwo
Ask her where the proof is for their appointment in 1919....I'm just recently out and this was something I always struggled with, why? There is no proof! Follow up with, do you know what they believed in 1919? Eg. They spent the next 6 years preaching Armageddon and the earthly resurrection would come in 1925! Would Jehovah really have appointed them as his one true channel and then allowed them to preach falsehood?
anyway, let's face it with an fully indoctrinated spouse, probably none of this will work, mine is fully in and I think he needs it for various emotional reasons. Apparently me having doubts this last few months has been a severe spiritual trial for him!! From one divided home to another, my sympathies...
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FMF 100th Post: Don't Go Through Life, Grow Through Life.
by freemindfade ini have been waiting to post this 100th post to come up with something half decent.
while i was driving this morning this is what i was thinking about.
there are a lot of new folks on here, and who knows how many lurkers checking in.
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Tornintwo
Nice post..and so true
when I first started doubting, I desperately wanted accurate answers to all my questions like yesterday! It's ingrained with us, we must have all the answers! The society has got themselves in a mess trying to answer everything categorically so much that it's laughable!
A few weeks in I read a post here that said 'I'd rather have questions I can't answer than answers I cant question' and it blew me away.
Now I have slowed right down and am happy not to know everything, I have some beliefs I'm holding onto but I am not afraid to question them, if they get proved innacurate it's not the end of the world (lol) and I can 'grow' from the discovery as you say.
The thought that God would kill anyone for not having the right answers in this day and age of multiple faiths, skepticism and information overload, is just barbaric. One thing I do know, if there is a god, he or she has to be more merciful and compassionate than me and I wouldn't kill my kids if they didn't understand something correctly, especially if I'd made the instructions as clear as mud!!
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My parents sent the elders after me
by atacrossroads ini stopped regulary attending meetings and going in field service in january.
the elders have left me alone for the most part i think because of my jw husband.
last week my parents came over and told me i needed to come back to meetings.
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Tornintwo
Well done for the way you handled the elders, they weren't there to 'encourage' you, it sounds like they were there to try to catch you out. It's great your husband is being more reasonable, might wake him up.
im in a similar situation, second month inactive so I'm expecting a visit soon, my planned responses are; I have some personal problems right now (true), thanks for your concern, don't want to discuss it right now.... Etc. etc.
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Independent article: Spiritual abuse
by Tornintwo ini've been reading about different types of emotional abuse to help me define and cope with my difficult marriage, came across this article : 7 ways a person can be abused, by a psychologist.
http://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2015/08/7-ways-a-person-can-be-abused/.
includes forms of 'spiritual abuse' - these sound familiar?.
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Tornintwo
I've been reading about different types of emotional abuse to help me define and cope with my difficult marriage, came across this article : 7 Ways a Person can be Abused, by a Psychologist
http://pro.psychcentral.com/exhausted-woman/2015/08/7-ways-a-person-can-be-abused/
Includes forms of 'Spiritual abuse' - these sound familiar?
Spiritual Abuse. Has the victim experienced:
- Dichotomous Thinking – Dividing people into two parts. Those who agree with them and those who don’t. They make fun of, belittle, and show prejudice towards other beliefs.
- Elitists – Refusing to associate with people or groups they consider impure or unholy.
- Submission – Requires that others completely adopt their point of view. There is no room for differing opinions or questioning their authority. Name calling, chastising, and the silent treatment are common maneuvers into compliance.
- Labeling – People who don’t comply with their beliefs are seen as disobedient, rebellious, lacking faith, demons, or enemies of the faith.
- Public Performance – Demand perfection and happiness at all times. Religious activities such as attending church have extreme demands, excessive expectations, and rigidity.
- Legalistic – Strict adherence to their rules and regulations are commanded with absolute statements about insignificant issues such as hair color or style. Non-compliance is met with severe discipline and even excommunication.
- Segregation – Use secrecy or withholds information to a few select worthy individuals. Estrangement from extended family members and friends outside of the religion. This includes shunning, alienation, or persecution.
- Blind Obedience – Is expected. They have replaced religion with themselves and people are expected to worship them.
- Abuse of Authority – Use position or authority to connive for their personal benefit which is often financial. They justify the behavior by saying they deserve it.
- Fraud – Engaging in criminal misconduct or cover up the transgressions of others in the name of their religion. This includes covering up sexual abuse, physical abuse, financial felonies, and misdemeanors.