My daughter has/had a 19 year old witness friend in UK, a few months ago she told me he was really down because he'd been pulled into the back room and counseled about his new beard. He was depressed about it because it had taken him months to grow and he liked it and they'd made him feel like crap. I was furious. This is a young boy who despite being smart had given up the chance of higher education, was auxiliary pioneering and reaching out, was keeping himself 'chaste' and spending way to much time at home for a kid his age, and instead of commending him they pick at him about his one way of expressing his individuality. Aaaaggggghhhh, their lack of nurturing for young people makes me crazy.
Tornintwo
JoinedPosts by Tornintwo
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Beards
by HowTheBibleWasCreated ini have a beard.
i spend a month on vacation with no worry from the congregation overseas of course.
i grew a full beard now and with glasses i finally have posted my picture on facebook og me... next to half life 2 cover showing i look like gordan freeman lol.
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The Pain of Coming to a Decision
by daniel-p init's been at least a couple years since i've posted anything on here, and much longer than that since when i was active.
ten years ago i first came here all in turmoil over my disillusionment of my beliefs.
i've been through lots of ups and downs since then.
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Tornintwo
I'm sorry you are in such a difficult place but Your last paragraph is very positive and decisive. You haven't given up hope, but you've decided you want no part with the religion. Now act on those decisions.
I was only a few months in the 'indecisive' phase of being half in half out and looking back it was the most painful time emotionally and mentally. I don't know how some keep that going for years. It's also been much easier on my husband also now I've made the decision and made it clear to him now I feel. I'm no longer a JW, he is. But now he knows where he stands. I'm feeling much stronger and happier now I've walked away and I am proud to want to live a normal life, he is disappointed but adjusting.
With my kids, I set the example and my older one who was still in followed me out shortly after. With my little one, I let her do all the celebration stuff at her nursery. I made it clear to him I would not allow him to speak to the teachers and tell them she doesn't do Xmas. I gave her a birthday and she went to her first party for someone else's a couple of weeks ago. My older kids have told me being left out of these things as we raised them was very painful for them. He knows not to mess with me on the these things as I am much stronger and firmer with him about what I will put up with. Having said that, he prays with our little one, reads her bible stories and I let him take her on a Sunday. But she's only 2 so I might have to rethink some of these things in the future.
The main thing is she will never have her associations restricted in any way, she will always be a part of things at school, extracurricular activities, education etc.. Trust me I've got 2 teenagers who've left the organization, when it comes to those years, given the choice, the rule-bound religion has no chance.
Do what YOU want, teach your kids by example, I agree with others that your wife is looking to you to ask her to leave the org.. She probably can't cope with the guilt of that decision.
Why not say to her that trying to fulfil the demands of this relegion of your parents has made you depressed and unhappy and you haven't been able to be your true self, that you don't want the same for your kids. Tell her from now on you want you and your kids to have a normal life, ask her if she will try it with you for a few months, to see if she can see a difference in your happiness. Tell her you don't think a loving God would be angry at a man for trying to improve his life and his mental health for him and his family. If she won't go along with it , you do it anyway, and go out and have fun with your kids as much as possible.
P.s. A tip on this, soft play centers are a great place to take your young kids to get rid of some of their energy & socialize, you can meet other parents too to make friends outside the org. I've got chatting to a few parents at our local one and as a result we got invited to our first birthday party. My 2 year old LOVED it, dancing, laughing, singing happy birthday and eating cake. Wow it feels great to be part of the real world!
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merry xmas
by Sabin init has just turned 12 o'clock in n.s.w, australia, is i am just saying merry christmas to all you on the forum & i hope you all happy a happy new year.
big hugs all round.
sabin.
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Tornintwo
Happy Xmas!
doesnt seem such a bad thing to me, people round here being nice to eachother, spending time with family & friends, giving to charity, I chose some thoughtful pressies for my mum and dad and can't wait to open mine....
spent the last 22 years being taught it was some materialistic, drunken sex orgy of paganism!
Either way you like it....Merry Xmas!
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Latest, SHOCKING JW Paedophile case.
by Phizzy inhttp://www.stratford-herald.com/45973-jehovahs-witness-jail...
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Tornintwo
Absolutely horrific, it sounds like she was assaulted sexually also, maybe if the parents had reported it at the time and let the hospital look into it he would be away for a longer time, and would have served his sentence a long time ago. It's a miracle he didn't carry on to kill someone. How many kids was he able to be around as a jw? .Every time I brought this kind of stuff up to an elder I was told, 'we are told we can report it if we want to' and 'we encourage the victim/parents to report' but time and time again the facts prove otherwise, 'protect Jehovahs name', even if it does put innocent children at risk. Now how is this reflecting on the precious name of this presumptuous organisation which gave themselves Jehovahs name.
The whole things is sick and twisted and the parents shockingly negligent.
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Disassociation letter
by BeautifulMind ingood evening.
i have a question about where to send my disassociation letter.
do i give a copy to the overseer of the cong i was in and the branch?
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Tornintwo
I'm not ready to do it, although I'd secretly love to...well done you, it's a brave decision. If I do ever send one I will be sure to send a copy to every witness for whom I have an email address, so that they know why I am leaving that it Is a matter of conscience, taking a stand, and so that they aren't left with no info and only gossip and rumor to fill the void. Might just help another doubter too. One day.... -
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Favourite Movie quotes...
by Tornintwo ininspiring, funny...you choose.... i'll start with inspiring: .
frodo: i wish the ring had never come to me.
i wish none of this had happened.gandalf: so do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide.
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Tornintwo
And a funny:
Sally in "When Harry Met Sally" just before the famous orgasm scene:
"Its just that all men are sure it never happened to them and all women at one time or another have done it, so you do the math."
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Favourite Movie quotes...
by Tornintwo ininspiring, funny...you choose.... i'll start with inspiring: .
frodo: i wish the ring had never come to me.
i wish none of this had happened.gandalf: so do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide.
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Tornintwo
Inspiring, funny...you choose...
I'll start with inspiring:
Frodo: I wish the Ring had never come to me. I wish none of this had happened.
Gandalf: So do all who live to see such times, but that is not for them to decide. All we have to decide is what to do with the time that is given to us -
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2014-12-17-BOE-Children Give Up Your Pocket Money!
by Atlantis inpetra!
2015-12-17-boe already, you dear brothers have done so well, sending gifts both large and small.
for in-stance, two children, five and seven years old, sent their pocket money to help build our new bethel instead of going to the circus, writing, "this is much better than that!
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Tornintwo
Yuk, think I'm going to throw up. -
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Where the real abuse lies.
by ctrwtf inlet me start with a disclaimer: i am in no way minimizing the horrific crimes done to children by pedophiles.
i'm not downplaying the number of lives lost due to the blood issue, or hearts broken because of shunning.
i do not want to discount the feelings of those who have come to the end of their lives with expectations of paradise postponed.. but to me the biggest atrocity committed by this awful cult is raising children from a small age to believe that soon god will kill billions of people.
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Tornintwo
My kids are now out and I can see the damage done to them for this and lots of other reasons, for me the 'no part of the world', bad associations crap, being exluded from celebrations, activities and normal friendships, these are all part of the same damaging, abusice package. What a relief they've moved on whilst still young.
But to be honest are there are a lot of witnesses who don't really believe this 'everyone else will die' teaching. A lot of them will say things like 'Jehovah reads hearts' ' he won't allow anyone deserving to die' 'we have to trust in him to do the judging' etc. anyone who is compassionate does not go around gloating that billions of people will die. But they haven't properly considered what the society actually teaches on this matter, never mind the softened version they comfort themselves with.
This was one of the reasons I woke up, I went searching for a definitive answer in the archives, or from the GB. What did I find? The official teaching of course is that the jw organization is the modern day ark and you have to be in the ark to survive. One of the nails in the coffin was Anthony Morris in a talk saying 'don't think your nice uncle Johnny will survive just because he is a good person' and then he went on to describe the Armageddon dead as 'charred flesh, like hotdogs roasting on a spit'. What a charmer!
So now when brothers and sisters try to get me to come back with their personal sanitized version of Armageddon 'Jehovah will surely save others etc' , because it makes them feel better, I ask them, 'find me that in writing in the watchtower' . Guess what? no one has yet come back with an answer...
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Does Jehovah Intervene - JW Teaching
by thedepressedsoul ini have been a jw my whole life and i have never been able to get a clear answer on this question.
jw's do not believe that jehovah will intervene if someone is sick, dying or stopping a car crash.
they feel that jehovah is letting "this world" play out before he solves all of these problems.
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Tornintwo
Great thread, this is one of the issues which disturbed and troubled me throughout 22 years in this religion. I heard various thoughts, some say He only intervenes if it is related to the preaching work/advancement of his purpose. But it still makes no sense whatsoever. We heard stupid stories, such as the penniless pioneers who lived on a sharp bend and every week a grocery truck would screech around the corner and spill free vegetables in their garden. And yet if that's their reasoning what about when children get abused in this organisation, resulting in great suffering to them and a terrible witness, arguably detrimental to the all important preaching work, and God does nothing to stop that? Or what about the bus crash in Spain when about 40 witness youths were killed, couldn't they have used their youth to advance the kingdom preaching work?
I remember after 911 there was an article on just this subject, because witnesses were saying things like 'I missed the bus otherwise I would have been in the towers, Jehovah saved me' whilst other brothers died, the article said something like, we can't rely on or expect intervention today but if people feel they've felt it in their lives we shouldn't criticize them.' They talk outside both sides of their mouth though, happy to use some cheesy 'intervention' experience at the next assembly.
Its messed up thinking which disturbs any rational, compassionate, thinking mind. Ask any regular dub and youll be told you're over analyzing, thinking too much.
In my view, if there is a God then he is not in anyway intervening in man kinds affairs right now, he set things in motion, with free will in the mix etc etc. and we are reaping the results, with some less fortunate than others. He will only give strength, wisdom to cope etc and the gift via JC of a reward at the end of it all. To believe that he somehow will help some and not others, intervene in petty affairs of life of the western rich but ignore the plight of millions suffering elsewhere makes no sense whatsoever and can only besmirch his character.
I think the best chance we have is to show love and compassion ourselves, use our free will to help others and maybe in those acts of love, mercy and kindness, that is where you see the essence of God and Christ. Or from a non religious point of view, that's where you see our humanity and love we are all capable of.