Posts by AnneB

56

jw family loves to ask df'd ones for money!

by Ghiagirl in

well it finally happened!

we have been waiting about a year for this, my dfd husbands family asked us for money.

even though his own father hasn't met our 8 month old son.

AnneB

Take collateral. Make them give you something of theirs that is worth at least, if not more, than the value of the loan. Don't give it back until the last penny is repaid. A lending institution would do this and that's what you are to them. Question: why don't they use a formal lending institution? Have they tried? Can they prove it? Question the bejesus out of them before you move forward and hand them any money; that's what would be done in a more formal setting. This is about money, not hearts and flowers. Do the business thing.

Take control of any loan by doling out the funds yourselves, don't just hand them a chunk of cash. Whatever you do, don't sign or co-sign anything for them. If they genuinely need help they'll be open with you and glad their needs are being met; they won't stumble over who's doing the controlling.

If they won't agree to terms such as these, just treat 'em like mushrooms (keep 'em in the dark and feed 'em BS!)

40

Narcissistic personality disorder and the dubs

by purrpurr in

jw
friends

i've recently started to research npd.

having identified several of my family members as having it ( no wonder we're such a ¿***#@**!!!!

up family)there's huge similarities between the borg and individual members of the cong as well i've noticed.the over whelming love of self, the need to believe in a grandiose fictional version of themselves, always striving for more power and wealth, being unable to stand any criticism, and then there's the manipulation of the victims too.i could be wrong i guess but what thoughts do you guys have about it?

AnneB

Depression, split personality, narcissism etc. are all symptoms of the coping with one's situation by oneself in a setting where they don't really understand what's going on or what will happen. So basically, when i see a narcissist, i just see a person whos been exposed to an experience where they had to find a way to cope and survive.

Well said, Skedaddle! My far less erudite explanation after years of tying to understand how people that I knew and still love could be so...dangerous...is that they've been terrorized, backed into a corner, and they are dealing with life like a person who is gasping for what feels like their last breath, reflexively doing anything they can to keep alive and not knowing how else to continue. On the outside it looks calculated, but after knowing some of these sufferers intimately (read "close family members") I believe that they really can't comprehend most of the harm they do and they can't reason on it as we would wish because of the strangling fear. To coin a phrase: "They know not what they do" even though it looks calculated. Put them in front of God on Judgement Day and they can honestly say they didn't do it, and He will accept it. (Don't jump all over me for using this terminology, I'm just trying to show how absolutely out of control and beyond help such people really are.)

39

Wives who complain about their husbands work schedule but refuse to get a job

by hoser in

jw
friends

i listen to one of these all time in our hall.

she brings it up constantly about how they would do this or that but he has to work that saturday.

i think she should get a job and then he could find a lower paying 9 to 5 job..

AnneB

1. It's none of your business how other people choose to live their lives. If you don't like hearing about it don't go near her. If you have to be around her tune it out.

2. You're quite possibly missing the point. She may be using his schedule as an easy excuse to get out of doing what others want her to do. Don't be misled by times when it looks like she really wants to participate, it could be just a cover. Maybe she/they would rather keep their lives to themselves.

20

What is your GOAL ?

by new hope and happiness in

jw
friends

hi everyone.. i think this is a big question.

but how would you answer it in the simpliest of terms?.

in simple terms my " goals " are :-.

AnneB

Why does a person have to have a goal?

Goals mean "measurement" and usually have time limits. That's what made for so much trouble during JW years: Make all the meetings, read/study all the literature, convert all the worldly people, attend every convention, raise children to become JW's, count all the hours in field service, increase hours in field service, etc., etc., etc.!

Plans, yes. Purposes, yes. Goals? IMO, too rigid, too artificial to be viable.

61

Pixar the production company is jealous of Caleb and Sophia video's

by life is to short in

so said the co last night.. apparently a jw was on a flight and just happend to sit next to some big wig from pixar and when the man from pixar heard that he was a jw the pixar man just gushed over what great work that the watchtower has done in producing the caleb video's.

he siad he only wished pixar could do such great work.

the co said we are able to do it because we have free labor and jehovah behind us.. my husband stayed home from the meeting but wanted to tie in by phone and that is what the co said in his talk.. the co also talked about all the changes that have happened in the last ten years and how if some of the friends did not like it they needed and to quote him "they just needed to get over it" these changes are going to happned period.

AnneB

Was the Bigwig flying coach or was the JW flying first class?

8

Was I the FDS ?

by Simon in

just a thought.... at my recent meeting with the elders they accused me of being of the 'evil slave class'.

i responded that there were not two classes as the scripture said "but if that slave..." ie.

it was still talking about the same person or class.. now, if they claim that i have become the evil slave then i must, at some point, have been the faithful and discreet slave.. but, i have never claimed to by such and i'm sure that if it was somehow bestowed upon me that i would realise it (although apparently, the governing body didn't realise it for many years, but that's a separate topic).. are they twisting scriptures to suit themselves?

AnneB

Give 'em enough rope...

138

In (partial ) support of Danny Hazard

by stillajwexelder in

jw
friends

danny you have been fearless in your exposing jws for the cult they are and the harm they have done and are doing.

keep up the good work.

but please be careful in what you do as this board and recovering xjws need people like you who are fearless in exposing the wt.

AnneB

Dis-member: Thank you for posting that timely reminder.

61

Would you do this to your kids? Is this cold or am I crazy?

by BU2B in

my mentally in jw wife is trying to organize a "princess party" for my 4 year old daughter and her little cousins and friends.

she was looking at prices of a tent for the backyard party in case it rains.

she asked the hardware store how much and they said 90 dollars for the day.

AnneB

So millie210, "do not go beyond the things written."

I've expressed my opinion in response to the OP's question. You are free to do the same.

Peace,

AB

61

Would you do this to your kids? Is this cold or am I crazy?

by BU2B in

my mentally in jw wife is trying to organize a "princess party" for my 4 year old daughter and her little cousins and friends.

she was looking at prices of a tent for the backyard party in case it rains.

she asked the hardware store how much and they said 90 dollars for the day.

AnneB

Why provide for anyone else (except in dire circumstances) when you could provide at a more comfortable level for your own household? The grandparents in this case worked for it!

Babysitting is fine if someone wants to do it but it's not an obligation. In this case, the grandparents said "no." It's not lack of love, it's freedom of choice and the right to self-determination.

IMO, the grandparents here don't seem mean or stingy, they're simply keeping the responsibility where it belongs.

61

Would you do this to your kids? Is this cold or am I crazy?

by BU2B in

my mentally in jw wife is trying to organize a "princess party" for my 4 year old daughter and her little cousins and friends.

she was looking at prices of a tent for the backyard party in case it rains.

she asked the hardware store how much and they said 90 dollars for the day.

AnneB

Why is it "tacky and cheap to charge immediate family members for anything - even things you do for income from the general public."?