Posts by Maddie

216

I'm a Pioneer Married To a Wonderful Brother Reaching Out to be an MS...

by cognac in

and petrified... i just recently became a pioneer and always had nagging questions in the back of my mind.

so, i decided that when i have get a study i would research all the questions as i go along so as to prove everything in the truth... i got 4 studies in about 2 months.

all was fine, until i reached i think chapter 6 in the bible teach book about the resurrection.

Maddie

Welcome to JWD Cognac

You will find support here and I wish you well.

Maddie

23

~Pollyanna - Positive Attitude ~ Is there something wrong with me?

by AWAKE&WATCHING in

jw
friends

i am, and always have been, a happy person.

i am known for having a positive attitude no matter what drama or trauma i am dealing with at the time.. i think a lot of that comes from my grandmother.

she taught me to love and appreciate nature.

Awake&Watching - There is nothing wrong with you at all. Some people are able to move on from terrible things that happen to them more quickly than others. We are all different so its wonderful if you can and its not just that stuff is buried deep down so you aren't aware of it at this time - not necessarily so in your case.

Maddie

35

The elders want a JW to be my Mother in law's POA instead of her own son

by Younglove1999 in

jw
friends

it's been a while since i posted here- i frequently lurk, but have been busy with work, life, and not letting the fact that i was a jw for so long linger over my life and become overcome with "what if's?

yesterday we got a phone call from my mother in law who is a jw.

she was distraught because she still has my husband (her son) who is no longer a jw as her medical and legal poa.

Maddie

Words fail me !!

66

The Gift of Speaking in Tongues?

by Maddie in

jw
friends

with the increase in evangelical churches there seems to be a lot more emphasis on the practise of "speaking in tongues".

i quite like the way these churches conduct services, with live music and great singing.

it is so different to the kh meetings and like fresh air.

Maddie

Chalam - However, the 'baptism of the Spirit' is a separate thing.

I am not sure I understand the significance of why its different and what is it for? I find it confusing

Maddie

13

Post-Cult Recovery

by Maddie in

common issues in post-cult recovery .

sense of purposelessness, of being disconnected.

they left a group that had a powerful purpose and intense drive; they miss the peak experiences produced from the intensity and the group dynamics.. depression.. grieving for other group members, for a sense of loss in their life.. guilt.

Maddie

R. Crusoe - Thank you for the the beautiful words - so sad yet so lovely

IIbh - I know you care, thank you for pm

VoidEater - ""Thank you, Maddie - quite a reminder that we're not alone..." It means so much to me not to be alone with all this

Awake&Watching - I believe we can heal a lot on JWD

Chick pea - I feel like this with my son too but really we were victims of powerful mind- control and didn't stand a chance.

13

Post-Cult Recovery

by Maddie in

common issues in post-cult recovery .

sense of purposelessness, of being disconnected.

they left a group that had a powerful purpose and intense drive; they miss the peak experiences produced from the intensity and the group dynamics.. depression.. grieving for other group members, for a sense of loss in their life.. guilt.

Maddie

Common Issues in Post-Cult Recovery

Sense of purposelessness, of being disconnected. They left a group that had a powerful purpose and intense drive; they miss the peak experiences produced from the intensity and the group dynamics.
Depression.
Grieving for other group members, for a sense of loss in their life.
Guilt. Former members will feel guilt for having gotten involved in the first place, for the people they recruited into the group, and for the things they did while in the group.
Anger. This will be felt toward the group and/or the leaders. At times this anger is misdirected toward themselves.
Alienation. They will feel alienation from the group, often from old friends (that is, those who were friends prior to their cult involvement), and sometimes from family.
Isolation. To ex-cult members, no one "out there" seems to understand what they're going through, especially their families.
Distrust. This extends to group situations, and often to organized religion (if they were in a religious cult) or organizations in general (depending on the type of cult they were in). There is also a general distrust of their own ability to discern when or if they are being manipulated again. This dissipates after they learn more about mind control and begin to listen to their own inner voice again.
Fear of going crazy. This is especially common after "floating" experiences (see point 18 below for explanation of floating).
Fear that what the cult said would happen to them if they left actually might happen.
Tendency to think in terms of black and white, as conditioned by the cult. They need to practice looking for the gray areas.
Spiritualizing everything. This residual sometimes lasts for quite a while. Former members need to be encouraged to look for logical reasons why things happen and to deal with reality, to let go of their magical thinking.
Inability to make decisions. This characteristic reflects the dependency that was fostered by the cult.
Low self-esteem. This generally comes from those experiences common to most cults, where time and again members are told that they are worthless.
Embarrassment. This is an expression of the inability to talk about their experience, to explain how or why they got involved or what they had done during that time. It is often manifested by an intense feeling of being ill at ease in both social and work situations. Also, often there is a feeling of being out of sync with everyone else, of going through culture shock, from having lived in a closed environment and having been deprived of participating in everyday culture.
Employment and/or career problems. Former members face the dilemma of what to put on a resume to cover the blank years of cult membership.
Dissociation. This also has been fostered by the cult. Either active or passive, it is a period of not being in touch with reality or those around them, an inability to communicate.
Floating. These are flashbacks into the cult mindset. It can also take on the effect of an intense emotional reaction that is inappropriate to the particular stimuli.
Nightmares. Some people also experience hallucinations or hearing voices. A small percentage of former members need hospitalization due to this type of residual.
Family issues.
Dependency issues.
Sexuality issues.
Spiritual (or philosophical) issues. Former members often face difficult questions: Where can I go to have my spiritual (or belief) needs met? What do I believe in now? What is there to believe in, trust in?
Inability to concentrate, short-term memory loss.
Re-emergence of pre-cult emotional or psychological issues.
Impatience with the recovery process.

In my experience, there is no difference in the aftereffects experienced by those people who had family interventions or those who walked away or were expelled from a cult. Most ex-cult members — no matter the method of leaving the cult — had some or all of these residuals. The difference is that the individuals who had interventions are more prepared to deal with them, and especially those who went to a rehab facility.

It is important to note and to bring to the attention of the ex-cult member that each individual's recovery process is different and there is no "How To Recover from a Cultic Experience." In fact, the desire for a quick and easy recovery may be in itself a residual effect of the cult.

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I have been reflecting a great deal on the way our JW experience has effected us and the difficult road to recovery. I came across the above information and after reading it decided to post it. Being on JWD has shown me that it is possible to escape the JW's and go on with my life as I have seen many of you do. There is a light at the end of the tunnel if I am determined, despite the sadness of having family JW's who are still trapped and may shut me out of their lives. I am feeling very sad at the moment but I wont ever give up and I would like to thank you all for being here.

Maddie

26

If you don't see me here

by Junction-Guy in

jw
friends

im trying to consciously remove myself from this board.

i have been seeking out other sites and believe i have found something that will work for me.

it is a secular site, but it does have a religious section.

Maddie

J-G - I wish you well and hope that you do still post here sometimes. Take care of yourself.

Maddie

21

Trusting The Authorities

by minimus in

jw
friends

do you believe that the authorities should always be trusted?.

in some big cities, it is not uncommon for some police to be crooked.

some cops are known to pull over minorities simply because of prejudice.. in atlantic city, a mayor almost always in under indictment for bribery or some shady dealings.. in florida, it is being reported today in the news that the fire chief snapped pics of a young woman in a horrific accident.

Maddie

I believe it is true that power corrupts. We have to trust them because of the services they provide which like the Police and Fire Service are essential. There will always be those that abuse their positions unfortunately so I suppose its a case of taking the good with the bad.

Maddie

23